Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had...

By quickfingers100 - 22/07/2011 13:38 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had sex. Her reason? Because she thinks she is so good in bed she was worried I'd hyperventilate due to all the excitement. Instead I fainted due to lack of oxygen after three minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 901

You deserved it 10 711

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Same thing different taste

Nice way to go, really

By motorboatofdoom - 30/03/2020 05:00

Today, I learned that my girlfriend is terrified of me seeing her sex faces, so she violently squished my face between her boobs during sex. I then had a severe asthma attack because I couldn't breathe properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 179

You deserved it 291

Absolute beginners

By Anonymous - 13/07/2014 20:00 - Spain - Ripollet

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 893

You deserved it 5 961

By Anonymous - 24/08/2013 22:31 - Isle of Man - Douglas

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 262

You deserved it 7 761

The wrong kind of banging

By BRELLA - 03/02/2009 19:58 - United States

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 093

You deserved it 3 948

So good it's bad

By kingpin7 - 30/03/2011 04:43 - United States

Today, I went down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I almost suffocated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 464

You deserved it 10 296

That kidnapped kink

By georgiahick - 30/12/2010 14:09

Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 816

You deserved it 6 106

By AVeryConfusedGuy - 11/05/2017 22:00

Today, I was having sex with a girl and she passed out about a minute in. I panicked and thought she'd died so I tried to feel for a heartbeat. She woke up 45 seconds later and accused me of fondling her breasts while she was out. Apparently she has narcolepsy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 777

You deserved it 604

Repetitive

By justgreat - 24/03/2012 02:30 - United States - Opa Locka

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 574

You deserved it 6 207

Hidden

By bootyislife - 16/06/2015 20:01 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 664

You deserved it 7 394

By Anonymous - 08/03/2011 07:17 - United States

Today, while having sex, I thought I was having an orgasm for the first time. Turns out I was just hyperventilating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 301

You deserved it 6 456

grapisy 8

Friday 22 July 2011 19:20

Still counts.

FUUUandyourmom 16

Friday 22 July 2011 19:20

What a wonderful girlfriend you've got there!

Comments

nick315 8

Friday 22 July 2011 19:22

put a bag over her head and put a pic of a mold and say just in case u hyperventilate or and also so u can say now I have something better to look at when u pass out.

FMLephant 2

Friday 22 July 2011 20:26

Good idea! A picture of mold would help anyone get off. I wish I had thought of that.

whiteboy7thst 2

Friday 22 July 2011 19:23

I kinda think it is?

Molzen 3

Friday 22 July 2011 19:23

take the bag off..?

Garyy_fml 11

Friday 22 July 2011 19:23

Pictures or it didn't happen.

HahaYDI 0

Friday 22 July 2011 19:24

Lack of oxygen? It was a paper bag not a plastic one...

mustafa_fml 0

Saturday 23 July 2011 1:04

it's get hard to breath as u start sweating from all the sex. paper bags don't provide enough oxygen fast enough through a paper bag.

bruslywrestler 0

Friday 22 July 2011 19:24

hahahahah wow your gf is great

Friaza 29

Friday 22 July 2011 19:57

So you do it to yourself?

UnknownParticle 7

Friday 22 July 2011 19:24

you sure there were no justin bieber photo on the other side?

androiddestroya 7

Friday 22 July 2011 19:39

I doubt his gf's a lesbian

CurlyChica808 4

Friday 22 July 2011 20:56

Win^^

jiimbo344 0

Friday 22 July 2011 19:24

so she thinks your ugly cause thats what I'd do to an ugly bitch

bigmanj28 0

Friday 22 July 2011 19:26

That picture says otherwise

JPLovesAnimals 4

Friday 22 July 2011 20:04

oh nuts. do u have a bag over your head?? if not. do it now. even though your too ugly for anyone to have sex with you, do the world a favor. hey. try plastic(: