Today, my girlfriend called my flaccid penis her "little squishy"...

By stun_zeed - 17/01/2017 10:00

Today, my girlfriend called my flaccid penis her "little squishy" in a voice like Dory, and became upset when I got aroused because little squishy was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 125

You deserved it 1 244

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/08/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 098

You deserved it 10 949

Romance me please

By trembelwick - 03/12/2011 10:04 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 774

You deserved it 6 058

Unwarranted

By Ryan - 20/12/2011 17:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 651

You deserved it 60 062

Backhanded

By wtf - 14/09/2011 18:11 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 034

You deserved it 4 497

By Anonymous - 09/10/2012 08:38 - United States - Murrieta

Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 134

You deserved it 36 889

By Anonymous - 21/02/2012 19:17 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 823

You deserved it 6 391

By Brett meek - 19/02/2010 07:41 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with a girl. While we were fooling around, she started squeezing my cheeks and told me I remind her of her son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 587

You deserved it 3 636

By FreshDonuts - 28/02/2015 05:03 - United States - Antioch

Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 312

You deserved it 6 275

By rastafarimon - 17/04/2011 05:56 - United States

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and fuzzy. Now she sings the Star Wars theme when we hang out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 157

You deserved it 8 973

I'm coming!

By anonymous - 24/02/2010 05:05 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me I look like a fish gasping for breath when I "finish" during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 865

You deserved it 4 479

crudeandrudeguy 29

Tuesday 17 January 2017 10:39

Just tell her when "big hard" gets his nut "little squishy" will be right back...

Spongegar123 19

Tuesday 17 January 2017 10:42

You got aroused from her calling your penis "little squishy"? Lol

Comments

daidax_238 26

Thursday 19 January 2017 5:47

You murdered little squishy!

asphaltcowboy65 2

Thursday 19 January 2017 18:50

I guess you better find another Dory

Jade Teague 3

Thursday 19 January 2017 21:11

Sounds like something I'd do to my boyfriend tbh. He just doesn't understand how fun it is to poke it when it's soft. ???

seriouslynoidea 3

Friday 20 January 2017 1:29

is she twelve ...

rugrats 2

Saturday 21 January 2017 14:33

This is what happens when you choose your partner solely by looks.

foolisreal 0

Sunday 22 January 2017 1:26

Hahahaha I'm sorry but that's funny dude

foolisreal 0

Sunday 22 January 2017 1:26

Hahahaha I'm sorry but that's funny dude

crack229 19

Monday 6 February 2017 3:39

you should break up thats weird af

2changeher 13

Friday 10 February 2017 10:01

Don't get me wrong, it's funny and all. But why did he get aroused at the voice of a kids cartoon character........

wickedgetz 30

Friday 28 April 2017 9:33

did you get aroused because your GF was playing with "little squishy" or because she spoke in a Dory voice?

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The Top

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