Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend and I made love for the first time. She...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By jlovek0929 - 15/12/2016 05:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I made love for the first time. She promptly let me know that her ex was 3 times bigger but he couldn't get her there either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 33

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Miscellaneous Neighbours Plumbing Awkward Money Insurance Work Parents Relatable Poopoo peepee Relationship advice Love Suspicious Cheating AITA Health Abuse Insects Phobias Family Drunk Kids Argument Weird First Dates Marriage Gross Mental health Cars Death

The Top

Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her, "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home, with no shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 593

You deserved it 3 759

Today, I was rushed to the emergency room. Apparently, there is only one serious side effect of getting your tonsils out when you're an adult, which is only seen in about 1% of patients: bleeding of the throat. It can be deadly. I'm part of that 1%. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 884

You deserved it 2 765

The Top

Today, my neighbors coated their house in flashing Christmas lights and blared out "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" all day long. Only 29 days left until Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 535

You deserved it 3 353

Today, I tried to log into Instagram for the first time in 2 days. They deactivated my account for violating their guidelines. I haven't posted a picture or made a comment in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 111

Today, I realized what pulling an all-nighter means in reality. You’re psyched and active for about two hours after the decision, then you plod along bleary-eyed for another 4-8, after which you inevitably fall into bed, only to end up tired and with a fucked-up sleep cycle for the next few days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 693

You deserved it 486

Today, my father tripped over the dog and hit a wall. He was so convinced his arm was broken that we waited for 3 hours in emergency to find out he had a bruise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 783

You deserved it 3 433

Today, I fell asleep in the doctor's waiting room. When I woke up, the room was empty, and there was a $1 bill tucked into my cleavage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 061

You deserved it 6 950

Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120 719

You deserved it 5 713