Miscellaneous: Today, my friend whacked me on the family jewels while I was...

By TJ - 07/01/2010 16:50 - India

Today, my friend whacked me on the family jewels while I was washing my hands in the college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 228

You deserved it 2 996

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Same thing different taste

Dude! Boundaries!

By devinbyrne - 05/03/2011 20:26 - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 729

You deserved it 3 758

By hardee fucking har yourself, sir - 07/08/2013 22:00 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 587

You deserved it 4 048

By Anonymous - 09/10/2009 22:58 - United States

Today, I was at a local club with my friends sitting at a table when some guys approached us. One of them started telling me about his recent adventures through Europe and was very interesting. Something warm hit my leg and I realized the guy was urinating on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 470

You deserved it 2 801

By Anonymous - 13/10/2010 02:09 - United States

Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 390

You deserved it 66 427

By meep - 16/03/2017 00:00

Today, as I was walking to wash my hands after using the restroom, the guy walking away from the sink flicked water from his hands towards the floor. Water splashed all over my beige shorts. I had to walk back into class looking like I'd peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 827

You deserved it 435

By webperson04 - 27/07/2009 19:07 - United States

Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 412

You deserved it 3 601

By wurtabang - 09/02/2010 05:27 - United States

Today, I was at one of the urinals in a bathroom. A chubby kid goes to the urinal next to mine and starts peeing violently. Apparently, he was peeing so violently that it splashed onto my legs the whole time. I've picked the wrong day to wear shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 453

You deserved it 3 105

I'm never coming out of here

By hcditfi5foygy - 31/08/2018 20:30

Today, I went to my dorm's community bathroom to do my business. After releasing the Kraken, as I was wiping, I accidentally let go of the toilet paper. Instead of the toilet, it hit the floor in the next stall. Someone was in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 435

You deserved it 569

Poor little guy

By anonymous - 16/09/2022 02:30 - United States - Maryville

Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw my cat in the bathtub while I was in it. I had to go to the emergency room to get my penis stitched up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 335

You deserved it 116

Stranger danger

By Anonymous - 20/11/2014 16:35 - United States - Calhoun

Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying, "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 553

You deserved it 2 811

JackDark 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 20:04

Your friend is a dick. You can't entirely blame the guy either, it was his natural instinct to check you were okay. Get a tin of chopped up carrots, put them in your mouth raw, run up to your friend and splurge them all over him. That'd be karma. And it looks like you threw up.

dawgzor 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 20:10

#1 Wtf do you think? If you got hitted in the balls you wouldn't just take your hands down there and say ouch. When you get hit in the balls or stomach you pull your body forward and then you lie down to ease the pain

Comments

Am4eyo 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 21:25

haha, I bet you are pissed of now

TheGuyOverThere 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 21:53

Sounds more like he was pissed on.

portable_chicken 0

Monday 11 January 2010 6:33

TheGuyOverThere: epic win.

Coalke 5

Saturday 17 November 2012 7:29

Pissed of now? Would he be pissed of pizza?

Bsane 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 21:26

Lol indeed your life sucks. If the OP wanted to know what was going on, he could have just turn his head, instead of his whole body.

underarmorfreak2 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 21:34

I do believa actually you were pissed on not off

textasy2000 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 21:37

fake, who turns from a urinal still peeing?

Rocksygen 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 22:07

I do.

newsgit 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 22:56

All the time.

sosadrightnow 4

Thursday 7 January 2010 22:45

I believe this. Not all guys are that smart. Instead of turning his head, he turned his whole body. That's a dumb guy. Or maybe he finally found his chance to pee on someone and call it an "accident."

paladininwaiting 1

Thursday 7 January 2010 22:51

I dont know.....anything your friend dies with your balls .....really shouldnt be called "whacking" or any other form of the word.....maybe just me...idk....just saying

skyeater 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 23:06

Dude, this is so made up, why can't anyone see that? This is like something from a sitcom. Nice try though, it was pretty funny.

paladininwaiting 1

Thursday 7 January 2010 23:11

oh...and naturally i meant does...and not dies....naturally

dspadres 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 23:14

Uh oh, someone said "family jewels" instead of nuts, balls, or testicles...let the slang nazis begin their ranting.

ohhoho 2

Thursday 7 January 2010 23:30

Whenever I read a story like this, I wonder why its so difficult for one to turn their neck, instead of their entire body trunk... Did the neighboring guy have a neck brace on?