you're supposed to love someone in sickness and in health, etc. just because something happened that he didn't foresee doesn't mean he should run for the hills. there are a lot of ups and downs in marriages and if you can't handle it, then don't get married.

seriously? yeah you love them and if something outside of their control happens (they get sick, they lose their job because of downsizing) you stay with them. but if your partner, man or woman, doesn't care enough to stay in shape now that you two have tied the knot, it's dishonest and disrespectful.

just because you get married to someone doesnt mean you should stop taking care of yourself. especially with him as a fitness trainer, he knows there are many more benefits to staying in shape rather than looking good. plus if a fitness trainer has a fat wife it looks bad on him as a trainer which means less customers

Agreed

I know I'm late and all, but jackass that's not how it works. She could have problems with her weight. Instead of being an asshole you could try to understand her situation. We don't have the whole story so we don't get the right to make assumptions.

being heavy doesn't mean they have lower self esteem moron...

Good sensible advice. But even if she is fat, that's not the way to tell her to be healthier. Seems like the dude's a prick!

You're probably right. Some people are severely tactless though. They could mean "I like your hair" and manage to mangle it into "I'm glad your hair looks good for a change".

I respectfully disagree. Actually, I agree with most of what you said, but here's my issue: When someone gets to be, say, 70, their spouse is not going to be particularly attractive. They aren't either. They may wish their spouse looked like a 30 year old, but then it's probably mutual. Should they leave their spouse for someone hotter?

I'm willing to bet the OP isnt 70 tho. Until your 40's its still doable to stay in a good shape. After that it becomes a bit harder but until your mid 50's a reasonable body should be an achievable goal.

Yeah, I'm just throwing it out there as a hypothetical. Not just as far as staying in shape, but wrinkles, baldness, etc. People lose their sex appeal. I totally agree they should try their best to stay in shape and look good and that relationships are pretty pointless without attraction. However, I don't think you should ditch someone you are in love with because they lost their hottness, as they inevitably will. Like I said, that's hypothetical. In this case, I don't blame the guy that much. He was exceptionally blunt, but weight is something you CAN change, unlike age.

Spot on.

it shouldn't be just about the looks anymore now that they're married. if he really loved her he wouldn't dump her just cause she gained a little weight.

I have to disagree with you 59. People shouldn't get married and then say, "alright, I bagged a spouse, fuckit on how I look, they should love me for who I am anyways." The spouse never signed up for that, and is most likely be unaware of this attitude, so that wouldn't be fair to the SO. I think marriage is still about looks, it's perfectly fair for both people to look and stay appealing to one another. I don't think it's shallow at all. Let's be honest, who doesn't love going out and able to show off your attractive SO? Also, it helps the relationship if you are attracted to your SO

yes

I agree with this statement, in particular. We live in a culture where we are bombarded with images of "beauty". However, reality simply does not mesh with these images. Women have children, and sometimes parts that used to be tight on a woman sag, stretch, or even "plump". Men might lose their hair and gain a paunch, and all of us age...our eyes will start getting crows feet, some of us might get "jowly" (an interesting phenomena, that one), et cetera. So the options? A. Turn your face and body into a plasticene wasteland so that you look like the bastard lovechild of Joan Rivers and The Cryptkeeper. B. Take care of yourself, but realize that shit happens and it is inevitable that youthful tone and beauty fades, leaving in its place a different kind of beauty. C. Don't take care of yourself, and let come what may. I'll personally take option B. And I'll be smart enough to partner up with someone that won't dump me if I go from a size 8 at 22 to a size 12 at 40.

Yes, you're committed to loving each other, and you're also committed to staying attractive for each other. Marriage is not a license to let yourself go and become a pig. It's not a ticket to say, "AH HA! I got you now! You cannot escape! I don't even have to try anymore." That just shows you're a conceited, lazy, manipulative person who will give as much effort as you need to to trap a person, then once you got him you stop valuing his worth.