Miscellaneous: Today, my father decided it would be a good idea to give me the...

By tobuscus9412 - 22/03/2015 01:04 - Australia - Woronora

Today, my father decided it would be a good idea to give me the sex talk, at Target, at the top of his lungs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 138

You deserved it 3 336

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Same thing different taste

Don't wanna know

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 05:50

Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 184

You deserved it 4 177

By PPP - 28/04/2015 15:05 - United States

Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 651

You deserved it 3 324

By It was the 11 year old - 21/07/2012 08:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 901

You deserved it 5 030

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 811

You deserved it 37 512

By more than I wanted to know - 13/05/2013 19:10 - Italy - San Giustino

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 174

You deserved it 5 863

By confused_girl - 01/08/2013 05:10 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, I got the sex talk from my dad. It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't said, "It's not the size of the stick, it's how you use it." I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 382

You deserved it 5 037

By CallaC - 15/03/2012 02:01 - Canada

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 487

You deserved it 2 883

Scarred for life

By Aly - 09/12/2011 15:40 - United States

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 162

You deserved it 5 833

By linn - 27/09/2012 20:14 - United States

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 117

You deserved it 3 191

By Dammit... - 20/11/2010 02:45 - United States

Today, my mom told my dad to get me extra absorbent pads, very loudly, in a crowded mall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 255

You deserved it 3 689

arandomperson97 18

Sunday 22 March 2015 16:09

Did he use objects from the shelf as visuals too?

feven 32

Sunday 22 March 2015 16:13

"So son, you take this here (picks up shoes) and stick it into here (points at socks). AND that is how babies are made"

Comments

AirBusDriver 23

Sunday 22 March 2015 16:23

Your dad sounds unstable. Sorry OP!

photographer49 22

Sunday 22 March 2015 20:39

#11 OP'S dad sounds hilarious, if this is considered unstable then everyone's parents are unstable. Maybe he wanted to make sure OP remembers this conversation.

missyfiona89 28

Sunday 22 March 2015 16:28

IF YOU HAVE SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE, YOU WILL DIE! YOU WILL GET AN STD AND YOU WILL DIE! IF YOU HAVE SEX WITHOUT PROTECTION, YOU WILL DIE! YOU WILL GET AN STD AND YOU WILL DIE!