By Anonymous - 27/03/2016 12:27 - United States - New York

Today, my drunk dad told me I'm smart enough that any guy could overlook the fact that I'm fat, but not smart enough that they could overlook how ugly I am. Gee, thanks. FML
I agree, your life sucks 20 517
You deserved it 1 874

Same thing different taste

Top comments

And the fact that you're smart is the reason that you'll probably more successful than your drunkard of a father.

He sounds just like my girlfriends mom always putting her down because she is so insecure with how much better her daughter is than her. Don't listen to him OP I'm sure you are smart and beautiful

Comments

Well he did contribute to half of your genes. Chin up OP, you already exceeded him.

Hey, OP, you listen to me. And you listen good. You. Are. Beautiful.

I appreciate your positivity, and I assume it is intended to comfort OP. But you might find a different way to express that comfort, because "beauty" means nothing if you just throw it around blindly. It's just empty praise if you can't know or see the person you are complimenting, and I see this empty praise leading to delusions, denial, and a delicately inflated (easily deflated) self esteem in many people. I'm not trying to be rude or ruin your supportive message, but I think blind flattery is little more than a thin emotional band-aid for too many people. Maybe I'm too much of a realist in this regard, but anyway, kudos for being sweet to OP :) OP, you are a person like everyone else, and that means you deserve equal respect. Remember that, even though your father apparently forgot on this occasion :/

#24 I get what you're saying, and I agree that sometimes people do just flatter each other without putting much thought into it, but I think whether it can be considered "blind flattery" depends on the person's view of what is beautiful. For example, if #19 feels that every human is unique, and that uniqueness is what makes them beautiful, then they're not just flattering the person; they're saying something they truly believe. I know people who feel that every person has at least a few attractive qualities about them, or that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and therefore everyone is indeed beautiful to someone else in the world, so I guess such a statement wouldn't just be flattery on their parts either. Generally people who say "everyone is beautiful" aren't talking about beauty by society's more rigid standards, but by something more all-encompassing. For example, the beauty in humanity, the beauty in life itself, the beauty in uniqueness (as I said), etc...So I wouldn't necessarily say such a statement is just a blind attempt at flattery, but more a reflection of an entirely different mindset when it comes to what is "beautiful."

Now whether or not such comments are helpful or not to others, I think depends on the situation and the person. I have known girls who never took the time to take care of themselves, because they truly believed they were ugly and felt they were not worth it. When they came to believe that every human being has an intrinsic beauty, it gave them the motivation to turn their lives around and improve their health. And on the flip side, as you said, there are people who will use compliments as a sort of band-aid for their insecurities, without ever really confronting the true issue. My point was just that, maybe this is not just flattery on her part, but that she truly and honestly believes (for whatever reason) that this person IS beautiful.

I completely understand where you're coming from. And don't think you're being rude at all! :) Everyone has their own POV, and I respect that. There is even a certain beauty in that. Lol But I'm literally just one of those people that always tries to see the goodness in others. And when I said that OP was beautiful, I didn't mean that her face is symmetrically and aesthetically pleasing, I wasn't talking about anything physical. (Even though I'm sure OP is just being hard on themself and are actually quite the catch.) But for their post. They didn't call their dad any names, even though the dad was clearly out of line. The fact that they even shared this with us, that takes courage. Not very many people I know are willing to talk about their problems, regardless if they are "hiding" behind a screen and keyboard. Hope y'all have a great day! :D

To the above replies, you definitely seem like nice people, and it's a genuine pleasure to encounter you in an environment where exchanges can so quickly turn toxic. I also understand your points of view, and generally agree. I guess I just feel like "beauty" is tied too closely into people's self esteem; you can have self-worth, importance, success, happiness, and value without being "beautiful". But I'm going by a more literal and traditional definition (aesthetically pleasing or of an excellent standard), so I can see how you are seemingly just using beauty to encompass qualities like the ones I mentioned earlier. It's become a subjective word, open to interpretation, and now that I better understand just how you were using it, I appreciate and agree with your comments :) Have a great day!

the moral of the story is don't base your self worth on the words of a drunk

If he's just drunk and being mean, brush it off and move on. However if there is some truth to what he is saying, consider taking it as poorly delivered constructive criticism. If that's the case, you may need to start taking better care of yourself.

Being drunk is not an excuse to be mean. Her own father was an asshole to her and she doesn't need to just brush that off, he needs to be confronted about it and apologize for it. Additionally, even if there was some truth to what he said, it in no way means the OP doesn't take care of herself. Contrary to popular belief, weight isn't always equivalent to health, it is actually largely based upon on genetics and metabolism. You can look/be heavier and be perfectly healthy, exercise, eat well etc, and you can be skinny, do none of those things, and be unhealthy.

I think you missed the gist of what I was saying, which is that a "friend" will tell you what you want to hear, but a true friend will tell you the truth even if you don't want to hear it. His delivery is inexcusable, but we are all just strangers on the internet who don't know the situation or people involved. It's up to OP to determine if it was just bullshit drunken ramblings, or if he had a point in there somewhere.

He's a jerk. I know that it hurt, but he's not shit and you will be better than he will ever hope be.

Sounds like something my parents would say.

aw sorry OP don't listen to him, he was just drunk!

takeittoem 8

Damn. Sounds like you're smart, and he's a complete asshole.

You deserved it for being fat and ugly