Kids: Today, my daughter and I were at a school carnival. At the face...

By BeatenUpPup - 18/05/2009 12:22 - Canada

Today, my daughter and I were at a school carnival. At the face painting station, she sat down and asked for a kitty on her face. Next, she shoved me on a chair and whispered something into the lady's ear. I ended up with a 'black eye' by request of my own daughter. She's 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 202

You deserved it 5 799

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Fight Club Penguin

By mama bear - 05/06/2020 20:00

Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 011

You deserved it 213

By Anonymous - 24/12/2010 05:02 - Australia

Today, I helped out with makeup at my daughter's high school play. As one girl walked past, I told her that she'd smudged pink lipstick all up the side of her face. Turns out it was a birthmark. She cried in the dressing room for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 032

You deserved it 12 469

That'll look good in the morning

By lizardface - 23/08/2010 22:44 - United States

Today, my daughter and I went to the carnival and had our faces painted. When we returned home hours later, I realized I have a deep sunburn all around my face, except for the skin under the paint in the shape of a gecko. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 582

You deserved it 10 531

By Anonymous - 11/09/2012 04:47 - United States - Norwalk

Today, my thirteen-year-old daughter tried to scratch the freckles off of her face. We ended up going to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 769

You deserved it 2 713

Sorry kiddo

By BrandNewKadillak - 30/04/2009 00:14 - United States

Today, I was at my 3 year-old niece's birthday party. I was swinging on their swing set when she walked directly into my path. I tried to jump off the swing, but I could not stop myself in time. I ended up kicking her in the face and giving her a black eye. Happy birthday! FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 117

You deserved it 11 341

By Laura - 30/11/2010 03:03

Today, I caught my daughter attempting to stick pencils up our cat's butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 043

You deserved it 5 373

It's not what you think

By shway - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 952

You deserved it 7 428

Stranger danger

By john doe - 07/12/2013 17:29 - United States - Portland

Today, my 6 year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 040

You deserved it 6 207

By unknown - 15/09/2011 00:21 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 165

You deserved it 6 094

By gbabyy - 22/11/2009 03:25 - United States

Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 744

You deserved it 6 889

pancakelover 0

Monday 18 May 2009 20:26

At least she didn't ask her to paint a penis on your face.

rukusrazor 0

Monday 18 May 2009 20:23

Wouldn't you have thought something or asked while they were painting around your eye?

Comments

genius_man16 0

Monday 18 May 2009 20:32

I don't get it Either this is an FML because your daughter knows that your husband beats you or something (real FML) or it just doesn't make any sense whatsoever.

mrose57 0

Monday 18 May 2009 20:26

Better get a lid on the kid before it's too late.

AnnieSure 0

Monday 18 May 2009 20:26

What's your daughters problem?

takpaan 6

Thursday 16 June 2011 16:32

what's ur prob, can't a kid have a lil fun? hate to be ur kid some day

ecilart 0

Monday 18 May 2009 20:28

#3 - the daughter wanted the face painter to draw a black eye on the OP's face

gtdoll 0

Monday 18 May 2009 20:49

Hahaha :) she's smart and funny Isn't really an fml though

emer_helena 0

Monday 18 May 2009 20:49

At least she didn't ask the face painting lady to give you a real black eye. That would suck

Ohnoitslindsay 0

Monday 18 May 2009 20:38

Your daughter is clever.

gtdoll 0

Monday 18 May 2009 20:48

Lololola :) she's smart and funny

CapriceClassic 0

Monday 18 May 2009 21:02

Seriously? She's 4 and was able to "shove" you? AND on top of that, she requested a black eye drawn on your face? Clearly there's no parent/child understanding of which one is which. I'm guessing you'll be on a Maury Povich show entitled "parental abuse" or "I'm 13 and I want to have a baby" before she's 15.

save_me_08 0

Monday 18 May 2009 21:10

I doubt it was like a bodily shove more like the daughter did something along the lines of "come on mommy your turn" while 'pushing' her towards the chair... Of course, considering she 'gave you' a black eye, perhaps it was a legit shove...