Miscellaneous: Today, my dad called for the first time in six months. He needs... - FML

By No one special. - 12/12/2010 05:28 - United States

Today, my dad called for the first time in six months. He needs someone to bail him out of jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 489

You deserved it 2 429

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/06/2011 19:21 - United States

Today, my dad told me he has money set aside for when he has to bail me out of jail because "it's bound to happen sooner or later." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 643

You deserved it 10 750

By CaptainByron - 28/04/2017 00:00

Today, my father contacted me for the first time in close to 2 months. The first thing he did was ask if I wanted to buy some weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 375

You deserved it 312

By fox_at_heart - 30/09/2016 02:21 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I found out my father has been saving money to help me buy my first car. In the same conversation, I found out my mother, unbeknownst to my dad, used nearly all of the money to bail my drunken, deadbeat uncle out of jail for the fourth time a month ago. He's now back in prison. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 897

You deserved it 777

By hatetodisappoint - 21/10/2011 06:32 - United States

Today, I called my very overprotective father, and he took the time to tell me how proud he was of me for finally finding a good and respectable boyfriend. And that he was sorry he misjudged. I was calling for bail money to get my "good, respectable" boyfriend out of jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 296

You deserved it 40 095

By ~__~ - 20/03/2015 21:23

Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 652

You deserved it 2 457

By chiktikka - 14/01/2014 22:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad asked me to lend him some money to buy his medication, since he's all but broke right now. He returned with nothing but a bottle of tequila. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 117

You deserved it 8 404

Bad boys bad boys

By addie - 03/03/2013 08:27 - United States

Today, my fiancé called me as I was clocking out. I thought he was going to tell me that he was waiting outside. Instead, he told me that he's getting arrested and needs me to call his mom for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 234

You deserved it 3 068

Far out, man

By shroomda - 29/06/2009 07:29 - United States

Today, I called my dad to wish him happy birthday. The phone was disconnected, so I called my sister to see what his cell phone number was. She then informed me that our dad was in jail for selling shrooms to teenagers at a music festival out of state. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 231

You deserved it 3 403

Good to hear from you

By Anonymous - 25/02/2013 19:26 - United States - Grandville

Today, I heard from my dad for the first time in over six months. It was through Facebook, in a message blaming my brothers and me for his horrible life, and in which he spelled my name wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 508

You deserved it 2 502

By Anonymous - 02/12/2011 06:15 - United States

Today, I saw my dad for the first time in ten years. He was stealing my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 043

You deserved it 2 719

Next

Top comments

Mirorbo 26

Sunday 12 December 2010 12:31

Please tell me you didn't do it...sounds like a deadbeat father to me, darling.

pdp_fml 21

Sunday 12 December 2010 12:31

I believe that your life sucks. We can't choose who our fathers are. I hope that your life works out.

Comments

perdix 29

Sunday 12 December 2010 14:50

Are you going to be a whiny little bitch about not talking to your dad for six months, or are you going to spring him, so he doesn't get corn-holed in the slammer? Time's a-wasting! The longer you screw around, the better your dad's butt look to the predators who think frail, old dudes are easy picking.

AAShah 0

Sunday 12 December 2010 16:36

LMFAO. You're the best. :)

valri3 0

Sunday 12 December 2010 15:04

Thing is are you going to bail him out? If you are then that would be a true FML.

mylifesucksserio 15

Sunday 12 December 2010 15:10

yeh that really is kind sad

califbob 3

Sunday 12 December 2010 15:37

That's the seventeenth time he's been arrested for lewd acts with a canteloupe.

rattusrattus 18

Sunday 12 December 2010 15:39

The mind boggles, truely. One would think parsnips or bicycles would be better suited to that purpose.

skatingalyy 0

Sunday 12 December 2010 15:41

I hope u didn't do it...

Rdrgz 0

Sunday 12 December 2010 17:46

seems like its his life that sucks..with yours having sucky elements to it thanks to your Dad and the sucky life hes created for himself. Glad youre doing well enough to afford to bail him out of jail despite the poor parenting you had to overcome. be proud of yourself not down on yourself

ThreeSheetsGone 12

Sunday 12 December 2010 17:54

It's illegal to perform oral sex on a street corner. Let him sit and think about what he's done. And since when is it illegal to perform lewd, lucivious acts on a canteloupe? Shit, I'm in trouble...

2lollymolly2 0

Sunday 12 December 2010 19:15

doont do it.

tttiffany 0

Sunday 12 December 2010 19:47

I would tell him 'HMM, maybe I'll wait a few months to bail you out!' what an asshole!

ghbetuehe 0

Sunday 12 December 2010 22:39

Dad," Hi...I'm in jail, bail me out? Pretty Please?" You," No, bail your own ass out of jail." *Hang up*

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The Top

Today, my best friend got a new boyfriend. She asked him what he wanted for his upcoming birthday, and he said he just wanted to hang out with her and watch a movie or two. I thought it was sweet, so I asked my boyfriend what he would like for his upcoming birthday. He said a blow job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 183

You deserved it 47 585

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I agree, your life sucks 545

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 1 136

You deserved it 113

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I agree, your life sucks 30 844

You deserved it 7 303

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I agree, your life sucks 52 733

You deserved it 5 758

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I agree, your life sucks 15 184

You deserved it 875

Today, I went to the mall and had to parallel park. It took me 10 to 12 minutes of maneuvering before I got into the slot. When I turned off the car and got out, there were 8 people laughing hysterically and clapping for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 804

You deserved it 46 406

Today, I found out the joke I’ve been telling for 15 years is true. I am adopted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 336

You deserved it 371