Animals: Today, my cat tried to jump up to the window, and missed. This...

By Anonymous - 31/07/2014 17:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my cat tried to jump up to the window, and missed. This would have been hilarious if I had not been sleeping under that same window, and then caught him with my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 653

You deserved it 4 793

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Same thing different taste

By no - 08/12/2016 14:37 - United States - New York

Today, my cat jumped out a fourth-story window when I went to pet her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 875

You deserved it 968

Get back here!

By catgirl911 - 13/10/2009 01:44 - United States

Today, I woke up to see my cat crawling out my window onto the roof. Afraid he was going to jump to the ground, I crawled out my window as well. I caught him. The neighbors caught me in my underwear and bra yelling at my cat on the roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 186

You deserved it 25 150

Flash, ah ah!

By Dumb, Dumber, and Dumberer - 12/10/2022 20:00

Today, a bird ran into my window. My overzealous cat ran at it like the Flash and smashed his face in the window. He yelped and ran away, then as I was running to see if he was OK, I slammed my face in the door jamb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 256

By grosssss - 01/01/2010 13:03 - Australia

Today, while I was trying to get to sleep, I heard a strange noise coming from the bunk bed above mine. I looked up to see what it was and my cat vomited over the edge, onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 727

You deserved it 3 428

By Michelle - 20/02/2011 17:45 - United States

Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 100

You deserved it 4 965

By MoncaBang - 29/01/2009 21:25 - United States

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 670

You deserved it 3 440

Metal Cat

By Anonymous - 08/02/2021 05:01

Today, my cat jumped on my chest while I was sleeping and head-butted my nose to show she loves me. It was hard enough to crack it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 98

By Anonymous - 28/12/2018 06:00 - United States - Pittsford

Today, my cat jumped on my shoulders, but stepped in my hood and choked me and when I panicked she dug her claws into my shoulders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 142

You deserved it 495

By catbum - 10/11/2016 03:54 - Canada - Regina

Today, I accidentally shoved my finger up my cat's butt while trying to push him off my nightstand in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 551

You deserved it 1 467

Revenge will be sweet

By Kitty at my foot - 20/09/2022 13:00 - United States

Today, I accidentally stepped on my cat's paw and she let out a deafening screech of pain. After treating her like a queen for the rest of the day as an apology, I accidentally kicked her in the dark, sending her flying up against the wall. I feel as though I should sleep with one eye open tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 403

alanamarieg 18

Thursday 31 July 2014 23:33

Sounds like a catastrophe.

Indianboy9321 25

Thursday 31 July 2014 23:33

I guess that's window pane.

Comments

Mystery_Unsolved 16

Thursday 31 July 2014 23:42

I bet your face looks great now

CurlyQute 17

Thursday 31 July 2014 23:58

Ouch. I know the feeling

emeraldisle 30

Friday 1 August 2014 5:32

You've had a cat land on your face too?

littlekellilee 45

Friday 1 August 2014 17:16

My cat was at the window once and a bird flew at her, so she jumped down and landed on my face. I had a pretty good cut under my eye for a while.

aliceanon 13

Friday 1 August 2014 1:43

I hope you're okay :(

KuKluxCatz 8

Friday 1 August 2014 1:52

I've had this happen...

noparlpf 13

Friday 1 August 2014 3:01

Weird, the same thing happened to me last night. Fun times.

Vanshikap 24

Friday 1 August 2014 3:12

At least u didn't need an alarm clock?

ethan_unoxx 29

Friday 1 August 2014 3:25

ouch

kendallfireHD 16

Friday 1 August 2014 4:40

That had happened to me before. Not fun.

NatsuD_fml 13

Friday 1 August 2014 5:04

69 will now traumatize you.

daydreamer244 13

Friday 1 August 2014 5:23

And that's why I'm not a cat person.

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 70 698

You deserved it 16 736

Today, I found an old Bible in a box of my boyfriend's stuff. I despise religion, so I threw it away. He freaked out when he found out, screaming that it was a "family heirloom". I don't care if vile, hateful trash is an heirloom or not, I'm going to get rid of it. Deal with it. FML

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You deserved it 2 121

The Top

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You deserved it 88

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I agree, your life sucks 4 047

You deserved it 299

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I agree, your life sucks 27 850

You deserved it 62 005

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I agree, your life sucks 60 383

You deserved it 4 562

Today, I had a restraining order put on me. I have apparently been following a woman's daughter home after she leaves track practice and parking my car outside their home. I'm a math teacher at the school and leave everyday at 4:30. I have lived across the street for the past six years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 257

You deserved it 2 556

Today, after work, I peeled a parking ticket off my windshield. It was so hot that the ink from the ticket made a stamp on my windshield. Now I have a permanent reminder staring me in the face wherever I drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 633

You deserved it 7 885