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FML - The follow-up

Today, my brother decided he could just live with me. He's sharing my bed, using all my stuff, and has even refused to let me into my room in the morning to get ready. He thinks the situation is perfect. FML

shazzasm Say more :
Hi, I'm the author, made an account just to comment ? I couldn't really explain the situation in much detail but it's a little bit more complex than just kicking him out or not... So pretty much this brother is my twin. We're twenty minutes apart and extremely close so the older/younger sibling thing doesn't really apply because we swap a lot. When he's in need, I help as much as I can and vice versa really. Anyways, I recently moved out of home, renting a room at my aunty's to go to uni and my brother decided to apply for a job interview where I was. He was allowed to stay for a couple of days but he just never ended up going home. The house is just big enough for me to live there, so an extra person is a bit of a stretch, I.e. Why he's sleeping in my bed. It was fine at the start but he's started pushing everyone's patience... I would tell him he needs to go home but he's a touch mentally unstable at the moment and I don't wanna rock the boat. I've told my parents but he's avoiding them at the moment because he 'knows' what's best for himself, and there's not much they can do when they're 9 hours away. Everytime I try to approach the subject of you need to go home and back to your job, he kind of explodes so I'm kind of treading carefully. After I posted this, I had a chat with my Aunty, she's cool, and said he was annoying me a little because I'm at uni in the hopes of being a doctor and it's a bit stressful to study when I'm printing him out cvs and other stuff. We talked about it and I ended up telling him I'd help him but he had to have found something by Sunday... His genius solution however wasn't as well thought through as he'd hoped. He got himself a flat but no job so I'm not really sure what's gonna happen next but hopefully it's good! Sorry for the long winded explanation, hope it makes more sense! Thanks
By shazzasm / Wednesday 2 March 2016 18:56 / New Zealand - Auckland
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I've seen that "family" take advantage of you more than anyone else because they think they have the right and you won't say no because you're related. It's crap. Just because your my mother does not mean -for example- that I'll hand over MY tax return for you to buy stupid stuff when I have bills to pay. OP, you need to clearly define boundaries and rules for him to stay there and if he refuses then you have to follow through and throw his ass out.

By  brainymes  |  30

I'd say give him the full experience: laundry, dishes, all the various other house cleaning things. Oh, and maybe throw in bills while you're at it. See how "perfect" he thinks it is then ;)

By  GhostFox  |  33

If he's not paying rent, isn't on the lease, or otherwise have a contract with you (and the land lord) you have every right to evict him if you live in the US. You have legal recourse. Tell him he has X days to leave on his own or you will make it a legal matter. If he doesn't in the time period, make it a legal matter, even if it is going to the police. Him living there if you rent could violate your contract and get you in trouble. So take a course of action to make him leave, even if your family bitches you out about it, because not only is what he is doing illegal if you didn't invite him and give permission for him to stay, but it's unfair to you.

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  GhostFox  |  33

Site wasn't displaying that, but I would imagine that New Zealand has similar laws. In fact, most countries would have similar laws, as long as said country acknowledges the legal concept of private property.

By  indigohippopo  |  20

YDI because you're the older sibling and you should put your foot down in your own house. Even if you aren't the older sibling its still your place. Assert yourself OP don't let your brother walk all over you! You don't have to kick him out just lay down the rules.

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  GhostFox  |  33

It doesn't actually state of the brother is younger than OP. As someone who had to literally stab their older sibling to make them stop behaviors similar to OP's brother, I'm more inclined to think he's older than OP.

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  GhostFox  |  33

To keep it short, I found him in my room without permission, and going through my stuff on top of that. I tried to move him away from the dresser, so he grabbed me by the collar of my shirt to try to throw me across the room, causing the collar to choke me. Needless to say, I panicked and stabbed him in the arm with a mechanical pencil I was holding to make him let go. Several times. He got stab wounds, I got a very bruised throat, and he never went in my room again.

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  GhostFox  |  33

That depends on whether you count 13 and 15 as kids. While I am generally very touchy about people messing with my stuff, my reaction was more over the fact he was diggin around looking for the- at the time- $150 dollars I had saved from birthday and holiday money, plus saving change. We didn't get allowances, so that was the only money that we could 100% do whatever we wanted with, provided it wasn't illegal. He had (and still has) no grasp of financial management and wanted to buy a wrestling game or something, and him trying to steal from me probably exacerbated the situation. Our mother was pretty pissed about the whole thing and majorly got on his case about it. Made him stop stealing from me, but he just skimmed money from our mother's wallet. Wasn't the last altercation we got into that lead to relatively major injuries (he gave me a fractured rib on two separate occasions, I damn near broke his nose, and later nearly made him suffocate) but it being a small town at the time, there weren't any services to deal with him. Except forcibly admitting him to a psyche ward, but the entire family threatened to disown my mother and I if she did put him in one, despite the fact they knew he had injured us both on more than one occasion. Just to put on record in case there is anyone who would freak out over that- he's moved out now and I don't care about it anymore, and just limit interaction with him. TL;DR: My brother was a bit of an abusive asshole from age 12 to 22, and generally would up regretting any time he made it physical because I am good at coming up with improvised weapons.

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