Health: Today, my brother asked me if I wanted to see a magic trick....

By cuntocracy - 21/01/2014 22:27 - Australia

Today, my brother asked me if I wanted to see a magic trick. I stupidly said yes and now have a black eye from where he punched me. My dad thinks it's hilarious and my mum says he didn't know any better. He's 13. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 226

You deserved it 6 060

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Same thing different taste

By vreenya - 08/04/2014 20:13 - Chile - Santiago

Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 606

You deserved it 4 038

By NaomiMadison - 30/07/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 101

You deserved it 3 138

By tsakashvili - 26/05/2009 04:38 - United States

Today, I decided to scare my 10 year old sister for fun. I hid behind a door and leapt out, shouting "Boo!" when she walked by. She burst into tears and ran screaming to my mom. My mom thought I'd hit my sister, and was so angry that she punched me in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 852

You deserved it 18 904

Iron Man

By Anonymous - 14/12/2009 23:46 - United States

Today, my little brother punched me in the stomach. When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I thought it would be funny to tell him I was Iron Man and that nothing could hurt me. Two seconds later, he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 673

You deserved it 38 459

By Normal - 13/12/2009 04:39 - United States

Today, my brother and I got in a fight and he told my friends that I am mentally disabled. They believed him. Apparently, "everything makes sense now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 999

You deserved it 3 872

No touching!

By Noname - 27/01/2009 19:36 - United States

Today, at the mall my brother and I went to look at a vendor's items when my mom said not to touch anything. Thinking my brother was standing next to me, I saw him touching stuff so I smacked him in the arm and told him to stop. I turn to see that the old lady to my side was giving me a mean look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 011

You deserved it 23 321

By mochiko - 09/08/2009 07:28 - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my little brother. I saw him touching some expensive objects, so I slapped his arm. I noticed he wasn't my brother when he started crying and his real mom slapped me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 478

You deserved it 56 311

Jedi mind trick

By Anonymous - 02/10/2019 04:00

Today, my stepdad punched me in the face after I told him I hated him. He and my mom came in 10 minutes later to try to convince me that I'd made it up in my head that he'd punched me. My face was still red. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 250

You deserved it 197

By WickedRene - 02/08/2014 01:57 - United States - Rochester

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 935

You deserved it 8 217

Fight Club

By MyFaceHurts - 03/08/2010 10:40 - United States

Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 855

You deserved it 55 498

Welshite 39

Wednesday 22 January 2014 2:11

Now you see him...now you don't.

jnanderson 16

Wednesday 22 January 2014 2:11

I guess that's what they call black humor.

Comments

junkman6 22

Wednesday 22 January 2014 2:13

Now is when you show him a magic trick. Kick him in the nuts so hard that one vanishes.

Godsofdracos 15

Wednesday 22 January 2014 22:03

Easy there satan, I doubt a 13 year old ranks high enough to be forcibly castrated.

whothewhat 4

Wednesday 22 January 2014 2:13

That's what brothers are good for.

Jori_A 5

Wednesday 22 January 2014 2:13

Woulda just punched him back!

peanut52 8

Wednesday 22 January 2014 2:15

of corse you would say that it's black humor and your black

peanut52 8

Wednesday 22 January 2014 2:18

of course you would say that, you're black and that's black humor,.

Zelphoric 25

Wednesday 22 January 2014 3:33

Solving violence with violence! Brilliant! This never has any consequences, nope!

peanut52 8

Wednesday 22 January 2014 2:13

if he's 13 how are u

littlekellilee 45

Wednesday 22 January 2014 2:43

Probably not great, she just got punched in the eye.

EdenCrystal 21

Wednesday 22 January 2014 2:14

The trick was that he punched you, the magic was that he didn't get in trouble.

DildoFaggins 5

Wednesday 22 January 2014 2:15

Shave his head when he's sleeping :-)

thatkidmal 15

Wednesday 22 January 2014 2:15

Never say yes to a magic trick from a child, it always goes bad

olpally 32

Wednesday 22 January 2014 2:22

Love the username!! Lol. Just punch him back and tell your dad you didn't know any better.

Baucis 10

Wednesday 22 January 2014 2:24

Wow. I would of got my ass kicked by my dad. Paybacks are a bitch, getem.

WhatsOpTic 11

Wednesday 22 January 2014 2:42

Black magic! Eyyyyyy! No? Okay I'll just go sit in my corner...

Sports_guy3 28

Wednesday 22 January 2014 3:13

Yes... it's already been said.

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You deserved it 7 996

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You deserved it 130

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I agree, your life sucks 41 312

You deserved it 5 173

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I agree, your life sucks 6 071

You deserved it 510

Same thing different taste

Iron Man

No touching!

Jedi mind trick

Fight Club

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