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By Anonymous / Thursday 31 March 2016 23:43 / United Kingdom - Broseley
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Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

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If the parents are controlling and overbearing, then it is a good idea to cut them off. Just because they birthed and raised you, doesn't make them good people. Cutting a parent off isn't disrespectful, sometimes it's necessary to remove an awful person from your life. Besides, respect is a 2 way street, and right now, the parents are being very disrespectful to their son and his gf by being so domineering.

This is beyond trust issues. I'd call this invasion of privacy. OP's boyfriend is no longer under the roof of his parents and yet they feel the need to dictate who he can be around and/or date.

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They probably have him tied by a rope. If he's that far away they could be paying for his education and are treating him as an investment rather than a son.

I knew someone in this type of situation, real controlling parents. He was 18+ and he had to ask permission from his mom for everything, and she'd change her mind last minute on whether he was "allowed," which often made my group of friends have to cancel plans. Then, if he did any little thing wrong, he was "grounded," and they'd just keep him locked in the house. I felt bad for him, as I do for your bf in this situation, that would be so hard to live with. Maybe have a talk with him about his parents. It sounds like you're both 18+, and he needs to remind his parents of this. He's an adult capable of making his own decisions, they don't have to like them, but they can't control what he does with his life.

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Since the parents are coming from miles away, I'm going to assume that the bf doesn't live with them. So they're really being ridiculous here. Even still, we need to just get rid of this idea, a parent holding their kid's security over their head so they do what they want, is manipulative and controlling. If an SO were to do this, it would be considered emotionally abusive, but with a parent, it's fine? Again, 18+ is an ADULT, it doesn't matter if they still live with their parents, their parents should not be telling them what to do with their life. As long as they're respectful to the household, contribute in some way (chores, housework, money, etc) and are not hurting themselves, then the parents should just leave them alone and let them be adults that control their own lives. If parents constantly treat them like a child and control them, it creates resentment, and can also make it harder for them to transition to the real world.

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Exactly I got kicked out of home at 17 because of my partner my parents didn't like him and tried to make me choose between them or him. They have now come around and we now have a better relationship. They supported us in moving to another town and my mum is very involved in helping plan our wedding. It doesn't all end bad

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