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By single&alone - / Friday 6 March 2015 20:44 / United States - Seattle
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This is a tough one, because, while his sister is actually kind of crazy, I feel like a brother SHOULD believe his sister over his girlfriend. That is, of course, if his sister isn't a whack job.

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This is tricky - he might not believe she would do such a thing but he might not believe his little sister would lie like that either so he is forced to believe his sister. If this had happened it would be very important that he believed his sister. It is a hard one but I don't think we can blame him for choosing his sister. People whose partners abuse their children often don't want to believe it but it is important that they do take their children seriously. Unfortunately this little girl is capable of a very serious lie - this is really bad - could have bad ramifications.

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Sorry #76, I see where you're coming from, but if I ever had a kid who pulled this stunt, you're darn right I would give them a spanking. There's a difference between physical punishment and abuse. In my opinion, if you give them a medium whack when they do something VERY bad, then it's alright. Otherwise, there's countless other ways to teach them a lesson.

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[Sorry if this shows up twice. First one got eaten, I think.] Hmm. I just realized I've been so busy trying to repudiate the idea that spanking/hitting is a good way to discipline that I haven't really offered any alternative ways of doing things, so to some folks who grew up with spanking as their main punishment it probably looks like I'm for letting kids run wild or do whatever they want or something. I'm definitely not, though. Up until recently I kind of dreaded the idea of having kids because it seemed like it would be a constant struggle, me vs. them - it sounded just awful and exhausting. I worked with kids for years, and it got to the point where I generally valued obedience more than anything else (not a nice place to be). I didn't know there *was* a different way of doing things - I thought that the goal was to have kids who immediately obeyed whatever I said- but I've since come across some pretty amazing writing on the interwebs (Over at the Patheos blog Love, Joy, Feminism's section on positive parenting, to be specific) that puts emphasis on communication and empathy (rather than the iron fist of authority) and demonstrates that the whole "clash of wills" thing isn't how it has to be. This comment is already into tl;dr territory, and the blog's where anyone interested oughtta go, so I'll just say that the idea is that kids are people, and that helping them develop critical thinking skills and understand the "whys" of rules -because of course, they absolutely need to have rules- is much better preparation for adulthood than if they just obey because they're scared of a spanking. Takes more work that way (and lots more explaining, negotiating, and discussing), but it seems worth it to me.

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You do realize this is FML and not a parenting blog right? Also, let's try and keep the novel sized posts down to one a day, and not two in the same reply...

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#122 *shrugs* I'm not the first to discuss serious topics on FML and I won't be the last. I've pretty much said what I wanted to say here. If folks want to listen, cool. If not, I can't force them to listen. All I can do is put the info I wish I'd had earlier out there and hope it helps somebody.

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Maybe a spanking, but a spear/ rock bottom? That's just abusing the child, far worst than teaching them a lesson. And if you think that that'll make them stop lieing, you've never had a little sister, they'll just keep trying to get revenge.

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As well as this could work, unfortunately OPs name is singleandalone so I don't think she will even have that chance. But hell, she's better off anyway! I would never want to be with someone who would believe I could even think of doing, let alone actually fucking commiting child(or any for that matter) abuse. She should be happy it ended sooner than later. Sorry OP, hope you realise he was never meant for you if he couldn't trust your word against anyone else's in the world. You'll know when you find that special person. And sorry to FMLers for my long, cheesy post!

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I honestly don't see OP's now ex going far in any relationship having a sister like that. I'd be surprised if he ever gets married. She's either going to drive the women away or have him break up with them. This devil spawn needs serious professional help.

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It will eventually backfire on her. The brother will start to question why every girlfriend is "hitting" his sister even though the girlfriends claim otherwise. Or the brother or another family member may see it happen before then. Either way, I hope the brother figures it out soon and that the child gets disciplined for having done that and gets a serious talk about Crying Wolf. Hopefully, the brother will go and apologize to op (and any other past girlfriend) for not believing them when he does find out.

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i think what #10 means is that if OP's BF does not side with OP, or at least gives OP the benefit of the doubt, then OP should take a long look at the relationship with the boyfriend and decide if she should stay with him or not. Personally I wouldn't want to be around these people and always having to watch my back.

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Hard to when you have a little diabolic bastard sister who intentionally hurt herself. If you see your sister with bruised forehead and streaming tears, which is more plausible? She hurt herself on purpose to jeopardize your relationship or your bf gave her a decent, unforgettable asskicking?

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@1dvs_bstd Having spent a great deal of time with my current boyfriend and pretty much having known him all my life. I'd believe my boyfriend over the kid. This is especially true since most of my family members tend to do self destructive stuff. However, if it were my ex who used to beat the crap out of me, then I'd believe the kid. The issue here is really about how well the boyfriend knows his little sister. I can guarantee this would not be the first time that she's done something like this. If she's will to lie about getting beat up than she is definitely manipulative in other ways. Unfortunately for the OP the kid may be an excellent manipulator and have her brother wrapped so tight around her fingers that he's blind to any negative thing she does.

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