Love: Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when... - FML

By and the truth comes out - 22/07/2014 08:44 - Canada - Courtenay

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 951

You deserved it 7 631

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Fart are funny, period

By amg85904 - 30/01/2009 00:13 - United States

Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 893

You deserved it 6 587

By Anonymous - 06/10/2011 15:23 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 876

You deserved it 11 301

Noise complaint

By no sleep for me - 08/01/2013 07:44

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 391

You deserved it 5 728

So hot

By bonesniffer - 16/09/2010 05:13 - United States

Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 770

You deserved it 6 037

By Anonymous - 06/01/2012 15:50 - United States

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend, I accidentally let one slip. While thinking "maybe he didn't hear, maybe he's sleeping", the shaking of the bed from his laughter let me know otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 527

You deserved it 9 405

By atleasthelistened - 09/03/2016 08:04 - United States - Spokane

Today, I discovered my boyfriend listens way better in his sleep than he does when he's awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 537

You deserved it 2 447

By Tired Girlfriend - 14/06/2017 22:00

Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 884

You deserved it 483

By Anonymous - 30/11/2009 07:37 - United States

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 777

You deserved it 13 968

By Wow - 11/04/2013 12:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 247

You deserved it 19 303

By Anonymous - 23/08/2015 14:03 - United States - Charlotte

Today, after some great sex, my boyfriend mused: "You know, from this position, I could punch you in the cunt and you wouldn't be able to stop me." I could only relax when he finally fell asleep nearly an hour later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 704

You deserved it 2 762

Next

Top comments

kost4060 14

Tuesday 22 July 2014 18:20

I would take that as a complement

Welshite 39

Tuesday 22 July 2014 18:21

You could probably patent yourself as the next great sleep-aid. Just make molds of your breasts and butt and rake in the money.

Comments

mpkpm 19

Tuesday 22 July 2014 18:25

Seems legit to me!

lovepoohbear 19

Tuesday 22 July 2014 18:26

How is this an FML? Sounds pretty good to me lol.

adamzki1999 16

Tuesday 22 July 2014 18:27

If I were a girl i wouldn't complain...

carrs2154 9

Wednesday 11 March 2020 6:08

I'm completely confused by this. Why are you upset by this? I think it's very sweet.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, the coworker I have been hitting it off with rejected me. Apparently she has a crush on another male employee. An employee who is married and somehow has three other girls in our store actually fighting over him (I've heard arguments). She thinks she has a chance? FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 178

Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 382

You deserved it 60 100

The Top

Today, I went for a walk. When it started pouring, I ran under the nearest tree for protection. It didn't occur to me that it might look suspicious hiding under a stranger's tree in a black hoodie, until the cops showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 159

You deserved it 5 969

Today, at work, my phone kept crashing. Without thinking, I announced that it was having a seizure. Who did I announce this to? My boss. Who also happens to have epilepsy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 163

You deserved it 29 846

Today, the guy I liked for years asked me out. I instantly said yes. As I was walking away, I forgot I was at the top of the stairs and fell down 20 steps. He stood at the top and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 461

You deserved it 6 197

Today, I paid a local homeless man to rake the leaves in my yard. After paying and driving him to the bus stop, I found his shit on my back porch. I need new shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 643

You deserved it 3 838

Today, my period started two weeks early. I had the option of either making my connecting flight and bleeding through the entire two-hour trip, or buying tampons and missing it. Four hours until the next flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 181

You deserved it 916

Today, I went to look at a used car I was really looking forward to driving. It wasn't in as good condition as I'd hoped. The seller still expected me to buy it, even after he had to spray in half a can of Oklahoma Choke octane booster just to get it to fire up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 83