Love: Today, my boyfriend let me know he wanted me to leave by repeatedly... - FML

By cockalicious - 01/03/2011 05:29

Today, my boyfriend let me know he wanted me to leave by repeatedly jabbing me with my car keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 703

You deserved it 5 020

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By nokeys - 02/04/2009 20:16 - United States

Today, I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend after driving 200 miles to see him. While arguing, I told him I never wanted to see him again and left after slamming the front door. I left my car keys in his kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 788

You deserved it 59 072

By iJuli - 08/04/2012 05:17 - United States - Billings

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be a good idea to break up with me in his car. I had to walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 391

You deserved it 2 670

Get out

By Anonymous - 23/09/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to break up with me again, and actually offered me gas money so that I would leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 1 974

By rplovez - 05/09/2011 23:14 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by covering my car with post-it notes that read "it's you not me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 294

You deserved it 4 018

Wrong place, wrong time

By lug_nut - 06/01/2010 05:24 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house so that he could break up with me. I went out to my car to leave only to discover that all of the wheels had been stolen. Even the spare. I had to spend the rest of the day with my ex-boyfriend finding a way to get my car home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 440

You deserved it 3 331

By strwbrry - 27/12/2010 02:29 - United States

Today, I came home early, and my boyfriend's car was in my driveway. Inside, he was talking to my parents. He walked right past me and left. My mother then says, "He wanted me to tell you it's over." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 279

You deserved it 2 861

By dream_girl_3 - 08/03/2010 09:37 - United States

Today, I let my boyfriend drive my car, knowing that he doesn't have a license. While he was out, he ran a stop sign, collided with another vehicle, and then left the scene of the accident. Then he lied to me about how the accident happened so I "wouldn't be so upset." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 645

You deserved it 52 303

By stuck - 12/06/2016 05:59 - Sweden - Hägersten

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He decided to lock me in the apartment until I say that we are in fact still together. This is the 4th time he has done this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 175

You deserved it 4 347

By Mel Hahn - 17/09/2017 16:00

Today, I walked out of my boyfriend's house to see my car window smashed in and my steering wheel cover stolen. I was only staying at his place because there had been a rash of vehicle break-ins in my neighborhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 704

You deserved it 277

Drunk dick

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 20:00

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called the cops on me and told them I wasn’t letting him in the house. His keys were in the door, he was just too drunk to unlock it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 840

You deserved it 175

Next

Top comments

tuppencej777 0

Tuesday 1 March 2011 12:05

Learn how to take a hint!

IGotServedcouk 0

Tuesday 1 March 2011 13:21

Yeah, you're skipping part of the story, such as he was messing around or he really needed to be somewhere and you were stalling, or there really should be an "ex" before the "boyfriend". Which is it? Are you a drama queen or a prat? =P

Comments

tykiej 0

Tuesday 1 March 2011 13:52

How romantic!

Jimboom 11

Tuesday 1 March 2011 13:53

Either take the hint... or give him a reason to want to get you to stay... I say that with your chosen name in mind. Say ahhhhhhhhhh. ;-)

myko8o8 0

Tuesday 1 March 2011 15:52

hows this a fml?

Southerndatageek 2

Tuesday 1 March 2011 18:17

So he jabbed you with a friggin key...you should have just bitch slapped him as you walked out the door and called it even.

happyFace12 0

Tuesday 1 March 2011 18:20

ur probably a bitch then. so stop being a ******* bitch and quit complaining

LissaMccracken 23

Tuesday 25 June 2013 20:11

Calm down

Nullcharacter 0

Tuesday 1 March 2011 19:09

Dtmfa.

Calyx_fml 21

Tuesday 1 March 2011 19:14

Assault and battery

graceless_monkey 0

Tuesday 1 March 2011 20:07

At least he was communicating!

SnowFlakeInAK 7

Tuesday 1 March 2011 21:23

At the risk of being repetitive, take a hint!! Overstaying your welcome could eventually cause you to be known as "The psycho ex-girlfriend that didn't know when to leave". Is that really how you want to be remembered? It's better to have your significant other missing you, wishing they had more time with you, than to have them resenting you for being so clingy!!

dashilis 1

Wednesday 2 March 2011 2:03

I honestly cannot see an issue with that, it's funny as he'll and it definitely gets the point through.

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The Top

Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 028

You deserved it 704

Today, so… you know how sometimes girls give the weird guys a chance and it works out beautifully and they marry, have kids, and live happily ever after. Yeah, didn’t work for me. I gave the weird guy from work a chance and he asked if he could lick my armpits on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 117

The Top

Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 595

You deserved it 32 252

Today, I got home and found out that, because of a burst pipe in their house, my husband's brother's family had moved in. They agreed to only smoke outside, but it’s on their clothes so the house already stinks of cigarettes, and their kids have already broken two things, a plate and the fridge door handle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 75

Today, I noticed I was starting to get a double chin. I’ve only just gotten to a healthy weight after a serious battle with anorexia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 833

You deserved it 116

Today, as I left the supermarket, I found someone had hit my car in the parking lot. There was a note tucked under the wipers. Insurance details? Nope. It just said "Sorry dude. I fucked up. Good luck with the car." Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 075

You deserved it 2 279

Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 478

You deserved it 5 900

Today, I found out my boyfriend cheated on me with his boss so he could get a promotion and "provide" for us. This from the guy who made me quit my job because he said he made enough money to support us both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 724

You deserved it 3 816