By improudbutreally - 29/06/2017 12:21
I agree, your life sucks
6 558
You deserved it
951
holly_fly tells us more.
Hey guys, OP here. Just to explain a little more, he got the position because it's a mechanic one, and he had a bit more experience than me (but only because his dad showed him some basic mechanic skills, and mine didn't... see the problem?) I think part of it also has to do with me being a girl and my parents don't think it's "proper" for a girl to be a mechanic. Anytime I try to talk to them they say "the chance has to be earned", but he obviously didn't "earn" it. As far as the raise, I'm moving upstate soon, so obviously I didn't expect one. We just didn't know they were considering giving anyone one, and I was already having a bad day. It's only a dollar, so it's not a huge deal XD I do work hard though, I was just never given a clear position and was bounced around a lot. That made it kinda hard to show them I could do any one thing well, because I never stayed doing one thing. .-.
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Maybe it's because you expect the raise. Working in a family business means you're expected to one day inherit the business and therefore you're going to be treated like a regular employee. If you put your mind into your work a little more, maybe you'll get the raise.
Hey guys, OP here. Just to explain a little more, he got the position because it's a mechanic one, and he had a bit more experience than me (but only because his dad showed him some basic mechanic skills, and mine didn't... see the problem?) I think part of it also has to do with me being a girl and my parents don't think it's "proper" for a girl to be a mechanic. Anytime I try to talk to them they say "the chance has to be earned", but he obviously didn't "earn" it. As far as the raise, I'm moving upstate soon, so obviously I didn't expect one. We just didn't know they were considering giving anyone one, and I was already having a bad day. It's only a dollar, so it's not a huge deal XD I do work hard though, I was just never given a clear position and was bounced around a lot. That made it kinda hard to show them I could do any one thing well, because I never stayed doing one thing. .-.
squiros
2
what kind of mechanic? my friend is a welder and his welds look gorgeous. pretty welds are also stronger, and good welders are worth a lot of money. a talented welder can earn easily 6 figures. many other skills are similar - fabricating fiberglass components, maybe his frames are just 'somehow' low void etc. if you keep moving around from task to task instead of staying on one, there might be a good reason for it. you might not demonstrate the expertise to warrant keeping you at a given task. it could be you're not that good at any task and your parents are trying to find some way to make you useful.
He works on boats. And it's not that I'm not good at any one thing, it's that we're really small (it's just the four of us at the moment) so they kinda just put me wherever they need me. I'm their jack of all trades if you will, except for with the one I'd love to be doing. XD
sh1ri2
6
I am not sure why everyone's first assumption is that he must be more qualified. This is the reality of gender biases in the workplace. Men receive raises much more frequently than women even when they are less qualified, have less experience than women, and even if women request raises. Many studies have proven this to be true across the board. This gets even worse in higher up positions. This may or may not be the reasoning for op's situation, but it everyone's first assumption should not be that raises and promotions are always deserved. They very frequently are not.
The OP posted less than an hour before your update saying he is more qualified for the position than her. She needs to start working harder and EARN her position.
galacticstorm
6
Did you even read the OP's response? he was more qualified, had more experience. Etc
Did either of you read my response? What he knew (which was pretty much changing oil in his car), he knew because of his dad. Regardless of whether I WORK for my parents or not, my dad has refused to let me touch an engine. That's my problem. I've been asking since before I was even able to have a job. And my bf worked in at an arcade counter before this. XD As for posting a response saying he had the *slightest* edge on me, it's still relevant to gender bias because my dad won't teach me how to change oil because I'm a girl. Even if it's not in the work place.
sh1ri2
6
My comment was on peoples initial assumptions. I said that this may or may not be the case here.
Well, just because your parents are the bosses doesn't mean you automatically get special treatment. In fact, you shouldn't get any special treatment at all just because your parents are the bosses. But if you have genuinely worked hard, it would probably be okay to ask them about this.
Lobby_Bee
17
There are a couple possibility here. He either got promoted so quickly IS because he is your boyfriend and you never got a raise because your parents never approved you working in that position. They want to make it look like a dead end job so you would quit and find another.
CrazyTrainWreck
19
Bright side your family can't be accused of nepotism.
Sounds like it's a good thing you're moving away, then you can get a job in a place where your bosses don't have a vested interest in whether your role is "proper" for you! Good luck :-)
Thank you!
He's got more experience than you. He deserves that position.
He worked in an arcade counter before here. His "experience" is thanks to his dad showing him basic stuff. Stuff mine wouldn't show me. Did you even read my response. -.-
Dooberstl2004
3
That is still more experience in that position. If your dad didn't show you you could have still learned it on your own. Maybe that is what they are talking about by "earned". Earned means no waiting for someone to show you, but taking the initiative to chart your own way. From what you said you didn't really care about it since you are leaving, but got rather upset that they gave it to your boyfriend. Then you talk as if your boyfriend isn't really good enough for the position. In all honesty that just sounds kind of entitled and selfish.
I wanted to, but if I had tried to work on my own car (when they paid for it) they would have taken it away. .-. Now I've got my bf starting to show me stuff, but he still knows more than I do of course.
And I care about it because no matter how hard I worked, it was never good enough for them. Even he's said I work just as hard as he does. It just sucks cuz he got a raise after 3 months and I never got any recognition for anything.
So many people are misunderstanding the fml and my follow up. .-. I'm proud of him, but this isn't about him, or his raise. It's not even about my parents. The point was no matter how hard I worked it was never good enough. I never got where I wanted to be.
sh1ri2
6
Move to Vermont and work here http://girlingtongarage.com/ Or start your own garage
Ha, thanks for the suggestion. XD I'm actually moving to finish my degree (finally) then join the Marines. My MOS will (hopefully) be either in aircraft maintenance or I'll be a pilot. :)
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I understand you worked hard, however, could your boyfriend just have been BETTER than you? Also, expecting your parents to give you the raise might have contributed to why you didn't get it. Maybe work for the raise, without thinking you have a safety net would improve your work?
Family work and significant others is dicey I wouldn't say anything may come back and bite you in the ass sorry op.