By Anonymous - 13/10/2014 17:03 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend decided he's asexual and dumped me on the spot. FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 510
You deserved it 4 876
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Top comments

garage_fml 18

I mean, yeah, it does suck to be dumped, but if he's really asexual there's not much you can do. Sorry, OP.

258 13
stargirl_95 24

Being asexual doesn't necessarily mean that you don't want to be in a romantic relationship. It just means that you have no desire to ever have sex. Plenty of asexuals go on to have healthy sexless romantic relationships. Unless he is aromantic as well (he has no desire to have romantic relationships) or he felt that a sexless relationship would be unfair to you it kinda sounds like he was just looking for an excuse

164 1

Comments

stargirl_95 24

Being asexual doesn't necessarily mean that you don't want to be in a romantic relationship. It just means that you have no desire to ever have sex. Plenty of asexuals go on to have healthy sexless romantic relationships. Unless he is aromantic as well (he has no desire to have romantic relationships) or he felt that a sexless relationship would be unfair to you it kinda sounds like he was just looking for an excuse

164 1
SilverInGray 25

So plenty of asexual people have sex, and want to have sex. They don't feel sexual attraction. There are other reasons to have sex than sexual attraction.

22 4
Googolman 29

54 - If a person wants to have sexual intercourse, then they are not asexual, despite what they claim. An asexual person having sex with anyone would be just like a homosexual man having sex with a female. It just doesn't happen.

5 26
chocolatelvr 5

An asexual person could have sex for several reasons- wanting to please their partner, reproduction, or stress relief are all possibilities. Sexuality is about attraction, not action.

29 2
Thunderstruck14 30

Exactly, there are different reasons why an asexual might chose to have sex. Also, asexuality is a spectrum. There are different levels of asexuality.

6 3
drewflav 17

66 - There are many historical cases of homosexual men being married to women and having children with them. Why, you might ask? Because they would've been executed if they came out. They did it only to appear normal, not because it was how they actually felt.

7 3
pandalover69 26

Let's not kid ourselves, her boyfriend probably made up that as an excuse to dump her. If he actually loved her then he wouldn't have dumped her.

3 5
Googolman 29

You all make valid points, but I was referring to actually WANTING to have sexual intercourse just for the sake of it, not only doing it for the functional reasons.

0 4
kotake 7

This so much. Asexual =/= aromantic. But I know a lot of asexuals who simply find it easier to be single because there is a belief that sex is inherent in a relationship. Honestly OP sorry but would you rather have an unhappy relationship where you're not satisfied and he feels forced to go along? It hurts now but it's for the best.

5 1
xnikkilynn 11

Did he also say you guys can still be friends?

3 10
AnyaS 19

Unless you pressured him into sex I don't understand why he broke up with you (if the excuse is legitimate). Asexual people can still date and be hetero, ****, bi, poly, or panromantic.

39 1
LuckBeNimble 19

perhaps he viewed it as unfair to OP to ask her to submit to a sexless relationship; I'd wager if OP viewed sexual intimacy as an integral part of a healthy relationship, his breaking up with her is a good thing.

17 1
MissBehavin77 18

Sounds like just a lame break up excuse to me. You're probably better off anyway.

10 9
mosquito19 14

he probably don't even know what that means.

5 4
Adam5858 17

Probally a faze haha not worth it being with someone like that!

2 42
limabeans101029 20

Word of advice: never, ever, say that someone else's sexuality is "just a phase". It's very insulting.

14 1
kellyem2 20

Well, if he really is asexual then he's going to need a lot of support, so hopefully you guys can repair some sense of friendship. But.... If he's using that as an excuse to break up with you when he's not really asexual that's pretty shitty. It's all about the context.

9 2
lVluse 15

Here are words from someone who is asexual himself. 1) One does not simply "decide" that he/she is asexual. 2) Even if he just realized he was asexual, that still does not constitute ending a romance/relationship just like that. I cannot speak for everyone, but not being interested in sexual endeavors makes me cherish romance even more. 3) Again, I cannot speak for everyone, but I still think sex is an important aspect in a relationship, even though I do not actively seek it for pleasure. I believe that sexual intercourse can be a wonderful way to strengthen the bond between a couple. In conclusion: One can infer that he simply used that as an excuse; Lying and immaturity such as that does not constitute a worthy significant other, and henceforth, you're better off anyway.

38 4
skittyskatbrat 19

Perfectly stated...

3 1
thes7274473 19

Tell me what you think "asexual" means. I don't think you know.

0 2
Googolman 29

I don't think YOU know what "asexual" means.

0 0
captaincarlz 17

I agree with all of this. I identify as asexual and this guy just sounds like an ass. Being asexual doesn't always mean you don't want to date someone.

6 1
siggy_mcsigx 22

Nicely put. Honest question, is asexuality at all founded in hormone issues? Is it strictly personality? Can it be a developing realisation over time or is it determined around puberty, such as hetero or homosexuality?

2 1
greencurtains74 11

126. personality and hormones are somewhat intertwined. also it is not that simple. some people may identify as asexual due to a hormonal imbalance that could be fixed by hormone replacement(many people on birth control mention a side effect of complete lack of sexual desire). in others this isn't effective indicating it occurs on some other gene. and thirdly some people derive no sexual pleasure do to lack of feeling in those organs (circumcision or natural deformities)

1 0
nottafucktogive 7

He probably lied and just wasn't into you.

1 3