Love: Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar....

By tine - 16/11/2014 09:44 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 587

You deserved it 3 772

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/03/2012 00:49 - United States - Dansville

Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 966

You deserved it 4 101

By wtf - 30/01/2015 09:00 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 585

You deserved it 2 640

He prefers the dog

By Anonymous - 19/11/2019 14:00

Today, my boyfriend kicked me out of bed so the dog could get under the covers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 989

You deserved it 360

Night terror

By Kira - 12/06/2021 04:01

Today, it was my first time sleeping at my boyfriend’s house. I happened to have an incredibly realistic nightmare in which I woke up to thousands of centipedes crawling all over my body. My boyfriend got to watch me scream and slap myself repeatedly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 98

By meow - 14/01/2010 04:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 760

You deserved it 4 492

By eightleggedtictac - 08/06/2014 15:10 - United States - Worcester

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 774

You deserved it 6 846

By animelover - 25/07/2010 23:21 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend came over while I was babysitting my little brother. He wouldn't stay in bed, so my boyfriend told him,"If you don't stay in bed, the monster will eat you!" I now have to wash my brother's bedsheets, because he was too afraid to get up and go pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 678

You deserved it 10 819

By byebyeromance - 26/08/2014 01:03 - United States - State College

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 297

You deserved it 5 061

By fartz - 31/08/2013 06:04 - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 516

You deserved it 8 099

By Scabby - 11/04/2012 09:53 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend pulling off scabs and eating them. My scabs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 488

You deserved it 3 638

Ohshitdude 21

Monday 17 November 2014 9:41

Not what i was expecting. ..

Juicenub 25

Monday 17 November 2014 9:41

Sometimes it are the small things that really bug you.

Comments

scottyboy417 19

Monday 17 November 2014 10:04

That story took a giant left turn.

ckerane 16

Monday 17 November 2014 10:05

your boyfriend is funny

PennyLane27 32

Monday 17 November 2014 10:05

Did he turn into a butterfly?

jerryj 27

Monday 17 November 2014 10:23

Of course not. He's a goddamn human.

TallMist 32

Monday 1 December 2014 1:44

The joke Your head

PenguinBitch 43

Monday 17 November 2014 10:19

The bed wouldn't have broke if he wasn't always hungry and hungry all the time.

Classy_Sassy_15 15

Monday 17 November 2014 13:13

lol I wasn't expecting that

Ray_of_midnight 22

Monday 17 November 2014 22:10

came here for the Very Hungry Caterpillar reference, leaving satisfied.

sugarmonster42 7

Monday 17 November 2014 10:25

HAHAHAHA THAT WOULD BE ME

Saraishi 24

Monday 17 November 2014 10:53

What?

sleepyglowstar 32

Monday 17 November 2014 11:10

Next time wrap him up in the duvet, then he's a cocoon. Let's see him break the bed then :)

j_cat187 19

Monday 17 November 2014 11:13

Stuff like that is out of my control too

figgity83 15

Monday 17 November 2014 11:51

Your bf is awesome and why didn't just laugh and say what an amazing catch he is

RandomMishaps 14

Monday 17 November 2014 12:02

That's frigging awesome!

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Today, and every day for the past 3 years, my daughter has consistently woken me up throughout the night to nurse. Bonus? She’s up by 7:00am in the morning and falls asleep around 10pm and it takes me 2 hours to fall asleep. I’m mentally and physically drained, and exhausted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 723

Today, my cat has always been rather antisocial, but after his first trip to the vet since getting fixed, he's become talkative, clingy, and goofy. I'd enjoy it, if not for the fact that he's nearly hurt himself several times because he keeps doing stupid shit. He might need to go back to the vet at this rate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 623

You deserved it 130

The Top

Today, I was taking a nap when my dad texted me, asking me to go check the mail. So I went outside, then the wind blew the front door shut, and it automatically locked. I didn’t have my key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 283

Today, the week-long debate in my Senior Composition class reached a new height. A student brought in a special map and a globe to "prove" that the Earth is flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 807

You deserved it 312

Today, we had our busiest day at work all year with lots of angry people calling, and a co-worker called in sick. I went to my local game shop after work, exhausted and upset, and guess who was at his usual table running a Dungeons and Dragons group, apparently not too sick to go out. Yeah. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 081

You deserved it 196

Today, I met my future mother-in-law. All went well; she complimented my dress, and I complimented her haircut. Then she and her son had a screaming match over how our children will be fat because of their mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 851

You deserved it 3 947

Today, for the first time in my life, a girl hit on me. Specifically, a lesbian who thought I was a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 495

You deserved it 2 385

Today, I received a text from the woman with whom my boyfriend and I recently had a threesome. After years of fantasizing, I finally experienced what it was like to be with another girl. Now we also get to experience what it's like to have gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 031

You deserved it 5 075

Same thing different taste

He prefers the dog

Night terror

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