Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I were laying in his bed. I was watching...

By Tee - 11/12/2009 09:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying in his bed. I was watching the Terminator on T.V. A commercial came on in the middle of the movie. We just started having sex when the movie came back on he said "I'll be back." in the Arnold Schwartzenegger accent and rolled over to watch the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 827

You deserved it 4 605

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Same thing different taste

By erjazo - 31/12/2013 21:19 - United States - Morris

Today, I was watching TV with my husband, and he started getting frisky. When the commercial break started, we started having sex. When he came, there were still two commercials left before the show resumed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 270

You deserved it 6 850

Moving

By happyasaclam - 19/02/2009 00:55 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were hooking up while watching a movie. Just as I was getting really into it, he told me to move my head. He couldn't see the television. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 075

You deserved it 6 036

By uncomfortable - 12/03/2009 00:20 - Canada

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and his parents. It got to an intense sex scene. I felt grateful when I saw his father reaching for the remote to fastforward past the scene. He put it into slowmotion. We watched in silence for about 3 minutes before he managed to fix it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 348

You deserved it 5 603

By Anonymous - 04/04/2012 17:45 - Canada - Lethbridge

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when his sister knocked on the door and asked if she could borrow the zombie movie we were watching after we were done with it. We weren't watching a movie; I was just moaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 375

You deserved it 34 604

By elisimo - 24/01/2012 08:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 559

You deserved it 35 831

By SecondBest,IGuess - 30/04/2013 17:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off and said, "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on. He's 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 485

You deserved it 16 439

By really - 07/11/2014 00:30 - United States

Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he got up and said he needed to go home because he was tired and just wanted to relax and watch TV. That's what we were doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 029

You deserved it 4 356

By Jenny - 31/03/2009 00:06 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. All of a sudden he jumped off of me, going "shit, shit!". Worried, i asked him what was wrong. He shouted "I forgot to set my TiVO!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 305

You deserved it 8 712

Fascinated

By Anonymous - 09/04/2009 19:46 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The TV was on with the volume low, as we had been too preoccupied to turn it off. All of a sudden, my boyfriend stopped mid-thrust. He was watching the TV. House MD was on. He'd stopped to watch the differential diagnosis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 403

You deserved it 15 275

By unwantedlove - 25/02/2011 18:36 - France

Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling on the couch watching TV when we started kissing. As I crawled onto his lap and started to unzip his pants, he said, "You're blocking the TV." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 145

You deserved it 6 906

rlet 1

Friday 11 December 2009 16:08

hahaha your bf is awesome!! can't you laugh at that?? get some humor pills

xxmadicxx 0

Friday 11 December 2009 16:03

aww he sounds funny!

Comments

1990TD 6

Friday 11 December 2009 17:10

hahaha omg, that's just hilarious!! ...but not funny if he does that every time ;)

megadave 0

Friday 11 December 2009 17:23

you should have given him a ******** instead of whining, that would have been the best day of his life!!

Starfire22 5

Friday 11 December 2009 18:02

hahaha that's funny!

koifish81 0

Friday 11 December 2009 18:44

ok........have some fun moron

LemonStarship 5

Friday 11 December 2009 18:49

While in mid penetration did he yell out GET TO THE CHOPPA!!!

camjones97 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 3:02

couldnt stop lafing wen i read this #16...

ehsvballchk22 0

Friday 11 December 2009 20:11

haha that's hillarious. not really an fml though :)

Ninjaface 0

Friday 11 December 2009 21:10

At least he lasts all the way through the commercial break.

L33L00_fml 0

Friday 11 December 2009 22:59

LOL #16, I nearly choked reading that. bwahahaha

NeW_Daddy 0

Friday 11 December 2009 23:11

watch out for the "little tortilla boy"

notoriginalname 4

Monday 28 April 2014 4:44

#20 i wonder if anybody else got your reference hahaha

mrs_sean_flanery 0

Friday 11 December 2009 23:12

dude! your bf totally pwns! :-D

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The Top

Today, I was at a frat band party dancing with my girl when I felt some liquid on my arm. Normally, I'll lick spilled drinks off my arms and being slightly intoxicated, I did. Then I realized it was chunky. The girl dancing next to us had puked everywhere and I licked her vomit off my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 020

You deserved it 115 204

Today, my daughter is not only an expert in escaping her diaper but also in leaving her mark on every surface possible. Today's masterpiece: a poop trail on the hotel room rug. It was like a modern art installation, but with a distinctive smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 163

The Top

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through my birthday card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 181

You deserved it 3 972

Today, at work, my boss and I went upstairs to storage. We got in the elevator, I pressed the second floor button, and it didn't move so I repeatedly pressed the button. It wasn't until the fifth press that I realized we were already on the second floor. She thought I was an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 787

You deserved it 28 846

Today, a woman kindly asked if she might take a photo of her son in our cowboy boots. Thinking it couldn't do much harm, I agreed. Ten minutes later there was a butt naked three year-old and his entire family taking pictures in my shoe store. My manager wasn't impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 765

You deserved it 1 527

Today, I was at my nursing internship. After helping a patient get into bed, I began to walk out of the room when I heard him say to another nurse, "Now that was a king sized lady". To make things even better, she didn't understand him the first time and I got to hear him say it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 663

You deserved it 5 004

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of almost four years was breaking up with me when she captioned an Instagram post saying, "Who else besides me is going into 2018 single?" I had already bought an engagement ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 307

You deserved it 338

Today, a guy who I've been on five dates with called me for the first time in 2 weeks. The first thing I said was, "Don't expect me to go out with you again after going AWOL on me." Then he told me his mom died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 851

You deserved it 70 134

Same thing different taste

Moving

Fascinated

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