Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very...

By twintowers - 04/07/2009 20:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 389

You deserved it 23 245

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Same thing different taste

By Bucko321 - 30/03/2009 01:18 - Canada

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the phone to make a call and had heard it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 707

You deserved it 78 241

By Anonymous - 22/05/2010 23:22 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 580

You deserved it 47 167

Pull up

By ohdeargodthatswrong - 09/01/2010 13:25 - United Kingdom

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 442

You deserved it 6 189

By Anonymous - 20/11/2012 03:19 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 509

You deserved it 17 427

Mortified

By killmenow - 21/02/2011 01:19 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barge in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 957

You deserved it 8 926

Scolded

By oopsies - 08/01/2010 01:07 - United States

Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 006

You deserved it 5 453

By iris - 18/05/2012 23:01 - Portugal - Lisbon

Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 237

You deserved it 36 234

By meeranda - 01/01/2010 05:07 - France

Today, my dad came home from work early only to walk in on me and the boy I'm not supposed to be seeing having sex. Did I mention doggie style? FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 394

You deserved it 32 876

By Lisa - 02/01/2010 07:02 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called my cell. I picked up and said "Hi, this is Lisa and I want you to fuck me raw". It was my dad. He was at my boyfriend's parent's house and forgot his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 830

You deserved it 35 964

Cold shower

By MrAwsum - 17/03/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 494

You deserved it 48 691

emery52 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 23:28

i never understood phone sex

icehot 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 2:45

when you start pushing the pound key over and over

Comments

aback 4

Saturday 4 July 2009 23:35

If you don't scream it all over the house, you don't have to put up with that humiliation. This is a good lesson for when you're living in an apartment or duplex, so you don't have firemen or cops showing up to rescue you. Show some restraint. You do not have to break the sound barrier just because you're having sex. Other people have sex without setting off the Richter scale, so can you.

TuxedoBento 1

Saturday 4 July 2009 23:43

They were having PHONE sex. Please learn to read before going into lecture mode, gramps.

waterynuggets 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 23:46

They could have been yelling over the phone lolz.

abcdefghiloveyou 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 0:37

"OH MY GOD. YESYESYES. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT BUTTER!!!!!!!!!!!" -phone dies- "Yeah I can still hear you"

aback 4

Sunday 5 July 2009 0:58

Um...Dumbass #15? I_was_reading. If they were loud enough that Dad felt he had to give the boyfriend "the lecture", then they were TOO GODDAMNED LOUD. Go back to "no child left behind" and learn how to read your own stupid self.

TuxedoBento 1

Sunday 5 July 2009 1:30

"My dad had come home early from work, and had heard the whole thing." Save your lame "no child left behind" jokes for yourself. The reason they got caught was because the OP's dad came home early. So please, please, refrain from dishing insults when you lack the ability to read. >.>

aback 4

Sunday 5 July 2009 2:41

He wouldn't have heard them if she wasn't being all loud, fucktard.

lab2lb 0

Monday 6 July 2009 3:21

yeah he could have easily walked up to her room and as he was about to enter and say hi to her, hear her having phone sex. doesn't mean she was outrageously loud, she just wasn't prepared for someone to come to the door. it was fate!

purple5 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 23:37

Wow, that's a little embarrassing. I mean, it would've been bad enough with just your dad talking to you and your boyfriend... but to do it infront of your family. I can see his point if you're very young, and he doesn't want you doing anything stupid... but if you're old enough to make your own decisions he should respect that.

603050294 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 23:50

YDI and be thankful that your father didn't blow up on either of you.

baileys82 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 23:51

your boyfriend deserves phone head for that

satanicminnow1 1

Saturday 4 July 2009 23:53

Phone sex is phail sex. Fail.

alex_vik 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 23:57

Phone sex is ******* stupid.

HMB_fml 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 23:58

If you two were close enough that he could have just came over...why wasnt he there and you two having actual sex instead of phone sex...Haha. I would much rather be walked in on having sex then talking dirty on the phone.

alliemi 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 23:58

YDI, phone sex? Uhhh, your dad WASN'T home, which means you were home alone. .......

shmaller 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 23:59

YDI for having phone "sex".

plexico 3

Sunday 5 July 2009 0:03

You actually have a great dad. Most dads would have done one or more of the following: 1. Grounded you for life. 2. Kicked you out of the house. 3. Forbid you from seeing your boyfriend ever again 4. Beat the crap out of the boyfriend. Sure, the sex talk was humiliating and awkward, but it was probably among the most difficult things your dad has ever had to do, and it shows that he cares incredibly much about you. You should be thanking your dad from the rooftops instead of saying he caused an FML!