Today my boyfriend and I took stimulants to get high. Instead... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By B&Kale - 17/11/2017 07:54

Today my boyfriend and I took stimulants to get high. Instead we spent the whole night taking turns pooping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15

You deserved it 118

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Love Music Cute TMI Work Gross Coworkers Racism Kids Scary Customers Technology Geek Gamers Miscellaneous Neighbours Relatable DIY Social Media Ironic Sex Awkward Cheating Animals Health Insects Insurance Plumbing Money Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, I got home and found out that, because of a burst pipe in their house, my husband's brother's family had moved in. They agreed to only smoke outside, but it’s on their clothes so the house already stinks of cigarettes, and their kids have already broken two things, a plate and the fridge door handle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 75

Today, we had painters in the house. My 4 year-old grandson kept telling me, "Grandpa ate the painter's sandwich." While the painters were running an errand, my husband ate their sandwich, then left to go to work. I was left to explain/apologize to the painters that my husband ate their PB&J. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 84

The Top

Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 033

You deserved it 3 700

Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. He wound up drinking a whole bottle of wine, and when the bill came he drunkenly yelled at the waiter, claiming it should be free, because he's in the military "fighting for your freedom". He's a mechanic in the National Guard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 053

You deserved it 4 315

Today, my boyfriend and I had the house to ourselves. We started getting a little frisky when we discovered we out of condoms. After a quick run to the store, we found ourselves locked out of the house. Now we have condoms, but no way to use them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 667

You deserved it 18 457

Today, my 92-year-old great-grandfather ran down the stairs in excitement, despite his severe arthritis. He told my great-grandmother that he was having the first erection in over 10 years, and grandma ordered me to leave so they could do it right there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 709

You deserved it 766

Today, I’m camping in the middle of nowhere and my mom wrote me not one, but two emails asking where my car keys are, because she needs to move my car. She apparently did not think to check in the key cabinet first. You know, the one where we keep… keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 98

Today, I psyched myself up and headed out to a really promising job interview. I was sure I was going to nail it and get my first job. That is, until a bird shat on my head on my way there. Thank you so very much, universe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 294

You deserved it 2 559