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Why's everyone thumbing 6 down? Sex isn't necessary it's just a really nice addition to a strong loving relationship! I had to wait three years :( but it was worth it!

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if you make him wait 3 years, it's normal he's not used to it. what did you expect? that all would go like in the movies? sex gets better with practice, so you two know what to do!

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How so? In committing to a monogamous relationship, your sexual expectations must be met through a single partner. If they are not, you must go outside of the relationship to satisfy those expectations, or just suffer through endless sexual frustration, which is not healthy either. Clearly, the OP had some expectations, as any normal person would, or she wouldn't have made this post in the first place. Do you not have sexual expectations, or have you not matured enough to explore and understand your own sexuality? Or has it simply been suppressed by a fear-mongering religious belief?

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((FML, make up your mind. is the reply there or not?)) I am 22 and my fiance is 27. We love each other very passionately. We have no sexual expectations, as we enjoy the other activities and find them to be much more enjoyable than a simple 'exercise in bed'. We are not religious folk. We do not fear sex. We just feel that a loving, healthy relationship should be more about each other as people rather than how one performs in bed. It's not that important. We don't want kids (no procreation needs), and we seek pleasure through other means, such as a walk through the park, a ride on a rollar coaster, working together (we're graphic designers), or just running around the house doing childish things to make us feel forever young (pillow fights in the daytime, anyone?). However, you tell me where anything says, solidly, that sex is a requirement for a loving relationship to work. Show me evidence and I shall denounce and reject myself as a naive, ignorance fool who knows nothing about how to be a proper partner in a relationship.

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I see... so because I'm young, I know nothing, therefore my logic is shit and should be completely disregarded as trash. Yes, yes, of course. Because everyone who's young is an immature dipshit who knows nothing of the real world. Never mind that some folks have their eyes a bit more open to the truths of the world than others. I'm too young to know anything. I'm 22 and what is this? ((FML, please drink some water or something to get rid of your hiccups))

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I've never seen you curse before, Mirorbo! I'm rather shocked. Regardless, don't let anyone tell you what love is, as there is so much more to it than physichal pleasure. Love can be expressed more easily by holding hands and not saying a word than by having sex. Everyone is in such a rush nowadays just to have sex, a bond isn't even formed, it's just about getting laid. I think Mirorbo is setting a fantastic example with his relationship, where the two get out and do things just to spend time with one another, that is true love.

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I have a totally different view on relationships than Mirorbo (which means that my relationship could simply not survive without some good sex), just like most people do, but that does not mean that her view and her relationship are rubbish. It's strange and uncommon, yeah. I even would say it's against human nature. But if she and her partner are happy with it, who are we to judge? That being said, Mirorbo, I sincerely hope you two will once have sex. Walking in a park or working together is very cool and intimate, but having sex with the one you love creates an even more special, intimate attachment between you two. I would strongly advise to try it once, but I won't force you (duuh). Your life, your choices.

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I try not to break character on this account, but the personal attack to my own relationship when all I was trying to do was prove that a long relationship can last without the x-rated intimacy, kinda hit a little too close to home. And while I do understand that sex plays an important role to many people, I do not believe it should be THE most important role at hand. That's just grounds for failure in the long run, in my opinion. That being said, I don't expect us to perform well once we do decide to become intimate in such a fashion, but we're not going to see it as a big deal. It doesn't define us. If we decide from there to practice and improve, or to just save it for special occasions, that's our business. Our relationship holds other activities to keep that flame burning hot.

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Mirorbo, you give lonely asexuals everywhere hope with your lifestyle and beliefs. It really made my day to learn that there is such a thing as a sexless relationship, no expectations, pressures, or procreation..you're very lucky. Peeps like you give me hope, especially when so many refuse to understand or tolerate people with lifestyles different from what is considered 'the norm.'

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Calm down kids, have none of you thought they just got together young? Say they got together at 13 they may have waited 3 years to get over what is usually the legal limit, and what is generally held to be the youngest sex should be considered. You people read into things too much.

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Sex is an important part of a relationship, and not everyone makes the decision to wait for years and years. The desire to have sex is a basic human instinct. There's more to it than your general statements.

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Actually poostool (your name definitely shows you're more mature than Mirobo), waiting DOES make it sweeter, more meaningful, better, etc. I didn't wait (and now I honestly wish I did) but my fiancé did and I'm the only one he's ever been with and ever will be with and that's really special to both of us. We have an amazing sex life and even though I was his first, he's the best I've ever had. And sex is not just about fulfilling that physical hormone driven need. There's a whole other, more important side to that, and that's the emotional side. The emotional connection you get with your partner is way greater than any orgasm and the joy from it lasts way longer. Sure sometimes you just need to get off, but not always. Sex in every aspect differs from couple to couple, but for us we rarely have sex to get off. About 98% of the time it's for the intimacy and emotional closeness. @Mirobo. You rock. Good for you guys! I will add something though. Every person has needs that are higher or lower on their needs list. Sexual fulfillment is usually one of those needs. Within a couple, the priority of those needs is usually very different between the two, but some are usually close and may overlap. To some people, sexual fulfillment is pretty high up the list, and there's nothing wrong with that. It's still normal. You are very lucky that you found someone who has sexual fulfillment on the same level as you, because that doesn't always happen. For the two of you, since it's not high up the list you guys don't have any worries. For other couples, it is higher up on the list and is an important aspect of the relationship. If two people can't work out their needs with it, it can ruin a relationship and that doesn't make them bad or anything. People just have different needs. For my fiancé and I, it is important but moreso to him than it is to me so we have to meet in the middle with it. We do still go on date nights, we chase each other around the house, we have pillow fights

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80 - Not if there are people who simply do not possess this 'basic human instinct' which by the way, it is not, it is a basic animal instinct. An example of a basic human instinct would be dishonesty, or buying useless shit only because it's on sale. These 'general statements' are personal views. Most people abuse sexual instincts, so although I understand why it's considered necessary for most intimate relationships, and procreation of course, it causes more hell than it does heaven. Factual. I don't disagree with these views of necessity, however, because the asexual cannot say that sex isn't necessary anymore than the hetero and homosexual can say that asexuals 'just need to get laid.' Let's all try to understand one another here.

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'Not if there are people who simply do not possess this 'basic human instinct' which by the way, it is not, it is a basic animal instinct.' Since when are humans not animals anymore?

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@ReynshineCutting: There is no magic formula for intimacy. Saying "waiting DOES make it sweeter" is just as ignorant as saying that it doesn't. Putting up your personal experience as some sort of proof of the human condition is also ignorant (not stupid, just ignorant of the vast possibilities of human connectedness). You do not represent everyone. For example, my wife and I are going on 8 years and still as passionate (and even more intimate) as we were the first week we met... when we started fucking like bunnies on the second date. Personal examples are pointless. There is no magic formula for passion and intimacy. IMO (and it is my opinion), people who are in long term intimate relationships without sex definitely fear it, whether they are willing to admit it to themselves and each other or not. Whether its because they have body image issues or shame issues that make them uncomfortable with seeing each other naked and primal, or if its because of previous sexual trauma, or religious consequences, or whatever. It IS due to fear. If they weren't afraid then they would have no problem trying it out. Who better than with the person you love? The thing we all need to realize is that there is nothing wrong with being afraid, even of sex. Sometimes fear serves a purpose. If a mutual support of each others fear of sex is what keeps you together and happy then so be it. However, it IS more self honest to acknowledge your fear and be ok with it. Acknowledging that you have fear doesn't mean that you have to conquer it. If fear works for you in your relationship and keeps you both in a comfortable supportive place with each other then there is nothing wrong with embracing it until you are ready. Just as long as you dont kid yourself into believing the fear does not exist. It does.

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My fiancé and I first made love (not fucked, there's a huge difference) on our fourth date. So we didn't wait into the relationship, but the fact that he waited into his 20s to give his virginity to me made it 1000x more special than just 2 people in love making love for the first time. And just because 2 people don't have sexual fulfillment as a high priority need in their lives, doesn't mean there's some sort of fear. behind it.

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Seriously, stop brining all of your agendas and bull shit into this... Chances are they were young and/or religious not making the choice to hold on forever like some of you are. Wait, don't wait, who gives a crap? It's your choice, be happy with it and move on. Stop reading so deep into something that is quite simple.

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Your sexless relationship may last, but thankfully you'll not spawn any progeny. Instead, my sex-crazed, lunatic, fuckaholic offspring will rule the Earth. Poostooled.

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I am honestly afraid to get in a relationship since I fear se may become all but too important. I am a male regular guy that wants to have sex. But not yet, I am 16 and everyone around me is fucking. It is ludicrous. I enjoy the girls I have been friends with mainly for their personalities. They understand me to an extent and me them. I am not trying to gold off on sex for ant reason other than that. I am atheist, have near no morals, but I just feel like if you bring sex into a relationship it makes or breaks it. And more often than not it seems it breaks it, or makes it feel superficial or fake. People date people for a few months tops and already had sex with them. My one friend that is a girl has has sex with past BFs in grade 8 etc. That to me is not attractive. While she is nice, it says to me that clearly she did not know what they were doing since she is no longer with him obviously. These are just my opinions btw but, I am sort of not part of the norm. I'd like to consider myself better than it because to be quite honest the druggy partying every night fail school norm is not what I want to be a part of. Drugs should not get addicted to, school should be a major priority and parties should be a few a month. Not many a week. Many people this generation are livid life wrong.

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'but I just feel like if you bring sex into a relationship it makes or breaks it.' Well boy, in my experience, you're right. Good sex can bring it all to an whole new level, bad sex can ruin the entire relationship. BUT, I do not think that the sex of the majority of people is fantastic in the beginning. You need to work on that, communicate about what you (don't) like, want or dream of. Sex is a great test for a relationship, I suppose. So boy, you are young but smart (your comment was really full of wisdom), so don't be afraid of relationships and sex. It is you (and your future partner) who will decide how important sex will be. (here just another little note: it's not because other people have a different lifestyle than you (full of sex and partying and drugs), that they are living their live wrong. They just have other priorities. Every person has the right to choose their way of life, just remember that everyone once has to deal with the consequences of their behaviour.

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And if I don't want kids, that's my business now, isn't it? I already explained that it's just not a high priority for us because we enjoy other activities that we find a lot more meaningful.

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Hey poostool? You kinda suck. Let other people do what they feel like instead of bitching them out for making different choices than you! Maybe one of them weren't ready, why the heck would they want to rush into things just because "It's old fashioned to wait"?! That being said: Sorry it wasn't a great first time OP, but if you were expecting fireworks and awesomely awesome multiorgasms you were sort of bound to be disappointed. First times are pretty much always bad for the girl, no matter if it's her own first time or just his.

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Okay, to start off I am 16 and an AP Psych student. I can tell you off the bat from studying most human/animal behaviors (sex being a major one), a few things. First of all, when you see people more often and longer, you become more comfortable because your unconsciousness is less scared, and your consciousness shows that by you liking them more, therefore in some people increasing pleasure if you wait. Second of all, evolution has tried to make everyone sex machines, so no one can be blamed for the carnal need for sex, and really it's abnormal not to, but in common society waiting is by no means wrong, just unnatural. Now speaking personally, I'm a 16 year old guy, I do not want to have sex until I'm married, you know why? It's not because I'm Christian (I am), it's because if I got a girl pregnant I could not be a big enough douche to leave her and I would get stuck where I am, screwed for life. That's my logic though, personally I'm fine with anyone who says what they believe morally, BUT SCREW ALL OF YOU WHO THINK YOUR WAY IS THE ONLY WAY AND TRY TO FORCE PEOPLE TO DO IT!!! We all own our own lives, we all make our decisions, I've made mine, I have respect for anyone who has made theirs, especially people who don't just give it every time they get a chance, it shows strong willpower to go against carnal cravings.

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PSNDonutDude it sounds like you're saying anyone who has sex while they're young must be a druggie or a bad, immoral person. If so... that's just dumb. Just bc your friend chose to have sex with someone in the 8th grade doesn't make her a bad, immoral person with poor judgment. Ever thought that she simply has different values than you? Maybe she was curious and didn't want to wait anymore. Maybe she realized that it was highly unlikely that she would stay with the dude for the rest of her life, but she decided to have sex with him anyway. (How many people actually have sex with only one person their entire lives?) Sex is enjoyable and a natural urge. More and more scientific literature is coming out about how regular sex relieves stress and leads to overall better physical fitness. We are animals in the sense that we were built to procreate (if we weren't, we sure as hell wouldn't be here right now). So from the moment we hit puberty, we will want to have sex and it's not unnatural or bad if people choose to have sex. It's just important that they realize what the hell they're doing so they don't get pregnant or an STD, which is the main reason for discouraging sex in the very young.

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My partner and I love each other very much too. Every relationship is different, and sex is one way to bond and be closer to one another. Of course we enjoy many other things together but every relationship has different emphasis on different things. What you NEED to build a good relationship is communication, patience and compromise. Everything else is pick n mix.

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Hahahah #88 that's too funny, and anyway sex is fucking exausting, I hate it when women bitch about guys being lazy in bed when half the time all they do is lay there like a dog in a coma until their satisfied.

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