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By broke - / Saturday 9 July 2016 07:36 /
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By  rldostie  |  19

I feel a little bad for your dates. No one likes to be used for money. Maybe I'm just a little too feminist, but I don't think it's fair that men are expected to pay for all the dates, or all of the date, and I don't think it's fair that some women use men for a free meal ticket. Now, if you genuinely were on a date with him and looking for an honest connection or hook up, then maybe okay? Still, ramen diners cost under a dollar and while not nutritious in the least, at least no one is being used.

By  delichick  |  26

Im honestly not sure who to feel bad for - you or your dates. I can relate waiting to getting paid and not really having food in the house, but to use dates for food is sad and hurtful to your date. Mind you, Ive never been on Tinder, and not sure 100% what that is other than guessing its a dating app (site?)

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By  MissMarySunshine  |  15

I'm sorta in the same boat. I hate the two weeks in between checks. Hang in there.

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I don't know about you, but I certainly do not feel bad for someone who uses another human being simply as a meal ticket. As for your arguement, had she properly saved up, and possibly planned for the future (instead of whatever got her into this boat) then maybe she would be a decent person in my eyes. But she's not, so kindly take your angst back to tumblr.

By  delichick  |  26

Im honestly not sure who to feel bad for - you or your dates. I can relate waiting to getting paid and not really having food in the house, but to use dates for food is sad and hurtful to your date. Mind you, Ive never been on Tinder, and not sure 100% what that is other than guessing its a dating app (site?)

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  nonsensical  |  26

I disagree. In my experience there's a ton of messaging before actually meeting someone. Then again, when I used it it wasn't just for "hooking up". You make it what you want, people look for different things :)

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  annalily5  |  28

It's a hook up app. Some people use it to try and find serious SOs, but that's not really what it's made for. Usually Tinder dates involve a meal to make sure everyone looks like their pictures and doesn't seem too creepy or terrible, and then a hook up after.

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  ptoka  |  19

It's an app for what you make it. Vindictive people will always be and those hoping to meet someone will as well. Let's not make everything so negative..

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  squizzlebee  |  19

I met my boyfriend on Tinder and we've been happily together for a year now. A lot of guys I matched to on there were indeed looking for something more short term and casual, but we were both after something more and we were lucky enough to find each other :)

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  HBSLICE  |  11

tinder is mostly used for hook ups, but a select few use it for the intended purpose. i will never use it because of all the fuccbois and girls on there.

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  annalily5  |  28

It being a hook up app is not a bad thing, I quite enjoy that purpose for it. And yes, you can find something long term on their, but you're deluding yourself if you think it's primary purpose is anything other than a hook-up app. The first thing you learn about a person is a picture of what they look like, how old they are, how far away they (aka, how easy it would be too hook up asap). Sometimes another random tidbit like "You got to the same school!" is thrown in. And you can accept and reject based off that. If you want you can click on their picture for a "deeper" look, which just shows more pictures, mutual friends and facebook likes. If the person is ambitious they might have put in a blurb shorter than a tweet, but many don't. It basically tells you if the person is hot and in easy fucking distance, and is kind enough to give you possible conversation starters if any easy ones are there. It does not try to match you with someone based of likes. A person with 0 similar FB likes is just as likely to pop up as a person with 20. It's great if you find love on their, but you have the same percent chance finding it on tinder as you do with a random bar hook up. If you're complaining about shallow people only looking for hook ups while on tinder(which I've heard many people complain about) the real problem is you and the fact that you're a bit dumb.

By  rldostie  |  19

I feel a little bad for your dates. No one likes to be used for money. Maybe I'm just a little too feminist, but I don't think it's fair that men are expected to pay for all the dates, or all of the date, and I don't think it's fair that some women use men for a free meal ticket. Now, if you genuinely were on a date with him and looking for an honest connection or hook up, then maybe okay? Still, ramen diners cost under a dollar and while not nutritious in the least, at least no one is being used.

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  TheNewGuy03  |  26

That's a healthy way of looking at things. I don't like when a woman *expects* me to pay for all the meals (or everything else) on a date. It is usually a bad sign. That said, we don't know what happened between OP and her Tinder date. He could have offered to pay. Or she may have acted desperately and begged him for food. No one knows, so it's hard to judge. I also know what it's like to not afford food.

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  epicgamer  |  18

Honestly I appreciate your kind of feminism. There are too many "feminists" in this world trying to go for female supremacy. Even my 8th grade English teacher would complain about how much more "work" women have to do in comparison to men (this includes making haikus and how women have to have 2 more lines). Then she would go on how it was nice that men have to pay for your dinner. Least to say, I wasn't too fond of her.

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  epicgamer  |  18

Honestly I appreciate your kind of feminism. There are too many "feminists" in this world trying to go for female supremacy. Even my 8th grade English teacher would complain about how much more "work" women have to do in comparison to men (this includes making haikus and how women have to have 2 more lines). Then she would go on how it was nice that men have to pay for your dinner. Least to say, I wasn't too fond of her.

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  xoteeshaox  |  22

I completely agree. I mean, it is nice when a guy offers, but I don't expect him to pay. I order like I'm paying for myself, being a uni student I don't get a lot of money, so I order cheaply so I can afford, also makes me feel better if they offer to pay, because it's not much out of pocket. But I never expect them to pay. In fact my partner and I are at a stage where I try to pay for both of us sometimes when I have a little bit extra to spend (after savings of course)

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  annalily5  |  28

I mean, statistically, women in Western societies do a hell of a lot more work than men. In two partner households, both usually work a full time job, but then women come home and do the large majority of house and child care, as well as managing the finances if I remember right. Plus, women are more likely to be single parents. While I'm a big believer in "However asks/chooses the restaurant, pays," occasionally paying for a date is a pretty small burden in comparison.

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  smallandroid  |  26

Actually, men are more likely to receive custody if they try to get it. Women only have custody more often because most fathers don't try to get custody in the first place.

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  Aky0n  |  10

Statistically, men do more hard labor jobs and die way more often on said jobs than women. But alas, if you want to occasionally pay for my meals, I won't stop you.

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  sunkissedevil  |  17

if you werenstarving, I'm sure your opinion would change. it's not like they do it every night

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  Thwingedkitty  |  5

That's assuming the poster is female, that they didn't try to skip having dinner to avoid having to pay and that the date hadn't already offered ahead of time. You're presumptuous

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  Flyndaran  |  10

Desperation may explain lying and semi-fraud behavior, but it does not excuse it. I'd steal to survive, but it would not be victimless or lily white moral of an action.

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  loawe  |  10

Nice rant. But seriously, throw away your pride if you're starving and trying to survive. If it were a guy instead of a girl, they wouldn't think twice about using you. Also, ramen diet is the best way to wreck your body long term

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  tygerarmy  |  35

The winged kitty, the poster is female, according to the FML avatar next to the name. She also says she only got to eat because of this date. Maybe it was scheduled beforehand, and maybe they talked about her date paying, and maybe she's actually interested in her date. But all three of those things are presumptions that have nothing backing them.

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  tygerarmy  |  35

Also, having been poor myself, it sucks. Not eating, eating a lot of ramen, or ramen & hot dogs. Or free bagels, free anything from school/work/etc. I never lied to people to get food. I told people I was broke, and some friends sometimes treated for food when we hung out. This year I've gone on two dates where I think this happened, I might have still took them out if they were honest. But when you want dinner dates and seem to be feigning interest, at that point you aren't even being a friend. I'll treat my guy friends, even if they're not struggling, so hopefully the OP is at least attempting to befriend her dates.

By  seichan  |  7

I don't know the specifics of your situation, so I won't judge. I can't really think of anything to say except hang in there, and good luck with whatever you're doing to get out of that miserable place.

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