Kids: Today, it's my birthday. My children decided to make me "breakfast... - FML

By nickorion12 - 28/06/2016 14:21 - United States - Shawnee

Today, it's my birthday. My children decided to make me "breakfast in bed", only to end up setting the kitchen on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 611

You deserved it 1 297

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Same thing different taste

Cute but messy

By Anonymous - 25/02/2023 00:00

Today, my kids made a mess in the kitchen while trying to make breakfast in bed for me. The mess was bigger than the breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 195

Make it stop

By Elephant1718 - 12/06/2013 01:16 - United States - The Dalles

Today, I was looking forward to my only day to sleep-in this month while I'm balancing school and work. I was rudely awakened at 6 am by my sister and her friend trying to make pancakes, burning them, and setting off the fire alarm in my house for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 878

You deserved it 3 041

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 25/03/2023 12:00 - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, I got up early to make a surprise breakfast in bed for my partner. As I was carrying the tray into the bedroom, I tripped and spilled the hot coffee all over them. We ended up in the emergency room so they could take a look at the burns I caused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 194

By Birthday blues - 13/12/2018 22:00

Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 024

You deserved it 590

By Un1ucky - 08/06/2014 03:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend wanted to make breakfast. Since I usually do all the cooking, I said that was fine. Four hours later, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the sidewalk across the street as the firemen sprayed down the burnt remains of our kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 797

You deserved it 7 437

That blows

By Anonymous - 12/09/2022 23:30

Today, it's my birthday and I was very happy. When the moment came to blow the candles, all of the decoration on the cake flew off. It had taken an hour to make and set them on the cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 189

By thissucks - 21/02/2011 22:20 - United States

Today, it's my mom's birthday. I woke up at midnight to be the first to tell her happy birthday. When I awoke in the morning, I decided to bake her a cake. Little did I know my whole family was going out to lunch to celebrate. I wasn't invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 552

You deserved it 3 415

Food for thought

By Heather Scurfield - 17/09/2021 01:00 - United Kingdom - Witney

Today, it's my birthday. Since I knew I would be spending it alone, I treated myself to a full cooked Scottish Breakfast. Just as I was plating up, I got carried away and my black pudding slipped out of my tongs and directly into my cat's litter tray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 215

Happy nothing, then

By amy - 30/06/2018 19:00

Today, it's my birthday. I went downstairs expecting birthday greetings from my parents. Instead, they just sat on the couch saying nothing. Thinking they forgot, I casually reminded them. My mom scoffed and said, "Go do the dishes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 622

You deserved it 361

By ahhhhhh - 12/02/2015 17:23 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I made my mom breakfast in bed for her birthday. She was naked when I went to give it to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 627

You deserved it 6 498

Next

Top comments

Nathan_Henry 15

Wednesday 29 June 2016 2:16

It's the thought that counts

Tripartita 44

Wednesday 29 June 2016 2:37

Really, there's no better way to celebrate life than to have it jeopardized in a house fire. If this caused your life to flash before your eyes, just think of it as a commemorative slideshow on your special day!

Comments

thejokingguy13 12

Wednesday 29 June 2016 3:47

I guess you could say they have a burning love for you

jvanevery 19

Wednesday 29 June 2016 3:52

I haven't laughed so hard at an FML in a long time

blackrose1996 11

Wednesday 29 June 2016 4:17

Well they tired

freddygasman 18

Wednesday 29 June 2016 6:35

what were they cooking? Hotcakes.

Mooglefox 23

Wednesday 29 June 2016 22:23

First, how old are the kids? Depending on their age, it could go either way

YveltalLugia 17

Thursday 30 June 2016 0:54

Hey. It was my birthday too. Happy birthday. At least they tried to make their mom happy. It's the thought that counts. :)

why010 12

Thursday 30 June 2016 10:22

No good deed goes unpunished.

Oh_bother44 11

Sunday 3 July 2016 18:13

Is there a significant other or spouse in the picture? If so I feel like there should have been supervision in the kitchen depending on the ages of your children

blackrose1996 11

Thursday 8 September 2016 11:40

At least they tried

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The Top

Today, my plan to punish my husband by leaving him for a week completely failed. When I got home from the hotel, he had his buddies over happily watching football, but his face fell when I walked in, like I’d ruined his day by coming home. I don’t think my marriage can be saved at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 1 453

Today, I confronted my ex-employer about the money he owes me. He'd said he would pay me $3000. He asked me if I had it in writing. I said no. He said, “Well, too bad for you. No leg to stand on.” Then, in a cringey Indian accent, “Thank you, come again!” and slammed the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 96

The Top

Today, my girlfriend of three months broke up with me. Her reason? I'm "not interesting." I said things that might have led to a conversation, she would say "yeah" to everything. She argued about stuff I said that she didn't like; called my mates cunts; didn't let me have female mates. All her mates are lads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 960

You deserved it 256

Today, I got in my sister's car outside the movie theater and started talking about the movie. When I realized she wasn't saying anything, I looked up to see my ex-boyfriend sitting in the drivers seat. I got in the wrong car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 284

You deserved it 16 131

Today, I put up an ad on Craig's List to find a best friend. I don't know what's more pathetic: looking for a best friend online, or the ad being removed almost instantly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 684

You deserved it 31 092

Today, I couldn't find my hairbrush anywhere; I ended up having to brush my hair with a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 159

You deserved it 7 425

Today, a picture fell off of the wall in the middle of the night. It hit me smack bang in the middle of face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 036

You deserved it 3 755

Today, while I was walking to class, I was hit by a car. The driver stopped to let me cross in front of her, started moving again, hit me, and then yelled at me, saying it was my fault for walking in front of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 039

You deserved it 693