Work: Today, it's my birthday but I had to go to work. I catch the...

By fr1day - 21/01/2009 07:25 - Australia

Today, it's my birthday but I had to go to work. I catch the train and I am forced to sit next to this weird smelly dude who jumps off one stop before mine. A little old lady jumps on so I shuffle over so she can sit down with ease. Upon exiting the train i notice my pants are wet with smelly dude's piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 046

You deserved it 2 330

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Same thing different taste

By kstaa - 10/02/2010 11:47 - Australia

Today, I was sitting on the train wondering what that putrid smell was. As I got off the train I realized there was vomit all over the back of my seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 158

You deserved it 4 531

Powerful

By Noguestlist - 02/03/2011 08:16

Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 564

You deserved it 9 941

By WhatsThatSmell - 25/02/2011 13:25 - Australia

Today, I took a busy train into the city. I was lucky enough to get a seat. People were forced to stand in the aisle in front of me, and the person directly opposite me, whose butt was level with my head farted in my face. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 831

You deserved it 4 511

By FUCK.THIS.JOB. - 08/07/2013 05:57 - Finland - Helsinki

Today, I politely asked a man to not sleep on a tram stop that I had to clean. He got up, and while I leaned forward to pick up some trash from the ground nearby, I felt a warm stream on my back. Now I can't get the smell of urine off my clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 035

You deserved it 4 626

By scarlet - 09/05/2011 15:02 - Canada

Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 890

You deserved it 3 408

By Ihatebuses - 14/06/2018 19:00

Today, while getting on a city bus, I sat down on a urine-soaked seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 878

You deserved it 328

By niabby - 20/02/2009 23:13 - United States

Today, I was riding the train and fell asleep. A friend of mine got on a few stops later, and to be funny, shouted 'BOO!'. I woke up and was so startled I peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 447

You deserved it 6 856

Get a load of this

By Zoro - 13/09/2023 21:00 - Canada - Burnaby

Today, I had a wet fart with liquid in my underwear that I could smell. I let the one guy in front of me take the elevator so he wouldn't smell me. When the next empty elevator showed up, seven people started lining up behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 600

You deserved it 174

By M.L. - 06/09/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 464

You deserved it 12 784

By Noname - 12/03/2009 11:09 - Australia

Today, I was on a standing on a crowded bus going home after school. A wriggling 5 year old boy and his mum left the seat to get off the bus. Since no one looked keen to sit on the seat, I did, only to find out that it was covered in pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 655

You deserved it 11 498

teethingtom 0

Thursday 5 February 2009 2:43

Hey, I need that piss back. It's my only clean sample!

Cowgirl9999 8

Thursday 31 May 2012 22:03

That was you?!

Comments

danielleeycakes 3

Sunday 23 May 2010 2:29

YDI fe not getting up and finding another seat or just stading. if the guy smelled that bad you should have had the brains to get up.

Big_Boner 3

Wednesday 4 August 2010 21:50

HAHAHAHA fail.

ohaimrmuffin 0

Thursday 6 January 2011 12:27

he did a piss in front of everyone on public transport.. classy.

TheTaffyLuver 1

Sunday 24 April 2011 19:48

I wonder what she told everyone at work…

super_nae 3

Tuesday 15 November 2011 18:18

Awww booo for that happening when u were just trying to be nice.... :(

Cowgirl9999 8

Thursday 31 May 2012 22:03

That was you?!

worldclassrager 39

Saturday 4 January 2014 22:40

Bad luck...

cecea 6

Saturday 16 August 2014 10:57

how did you not notice? I mean didn't it feel wet at first? sorry op I hope the rest of your birthday went well!

i_needa_username 17

Thursday 4 December 2014 3:42

Omg gross!!!!

chewebb 8

Sunday 12 April 2015 23:14

That's why you look before you sit..

Keywords

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Today, when I stepped outside, I found out my neighbors forgot to leash their mean-ass dog when he promptly started charging at me. If not for the black cat who lives outside my house, who I've fed before, jumping in and somehow single-handedly whooping his ass, I'd probably be dead. You don't fuck with stray cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 66

Today, I got a warning at work for wearing my ear studs. Not only have I worn them the whole time for the last year I was here, I was unaware of this “rule.” I also was just told that the female employees are allowed to wear them, but men are not. “It looks unprofessional.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 130

The Top

Today, my boyfriend suggested we imagine each other as someone else when we had sex. I imagined he was Tom Cruise. He imagined I was my best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 905

You deserved it 8 838

Today, my daughter threw a can of hairspray into the fireplace because she saw someone do it on YouTube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 312

You deserved it 5 170

Today, I missed a phone interview for a job at Telstra because Telstra's phone network was down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 563

You deserved it 1 405

Today, it's been a few months since my grandfather passed away. Now all of his porn subscriptions are getting forwarded to my address. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 019

You deserved it 3 434

Today, it was the first day of astronomy class and we all waited for the professor to enter the classroom. All of a sudden, someone turns the lights off, it's pitch black, and we hear the professor saying, "Greetings earthlings..." It's going to be a long semester. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 033

You deserved it 19 760

Today, at 16 years-old, I got "the talk" from Dad. He began with, "I don’t really need to give you the talk do I? It would just be awkward for us both." I agreed with him, and we drove home in silence. Thanks for avoiding the awkwardness, Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 345

You deserved it 374

Same thing different taste

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