Health: Today, is my birthday. I got to leave work early, not because... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Anonymous - 30/03/2016 01:02 - United States - Shrewsbury

Today, is my birthday. I got to leave work early, not because of my birthday, but because I got an aggressive sinus infection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

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Names Music Kids Customers Work Bodyshaming Coworkers Awkward Money Roommate Landlords Dogs Allergies AITA Parents Embarrassing Cute Neighbours Singing Ironic Health Accident Animals Cats Love Airport Cheating Intimacy Sex Relationship advice

The Top

Today, so… you know how sometimes girls give the weird guys a chance and it works out beautifully and they marry, have kids, and live happily ever after. Yeah, didn’t work for me. I gave the weird guy from work a chance and he asked if he could lick my armpits on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 117

Today, I was rushed to the emergency room. Apparently, there is only one serious side effect of getting your tonsils out when you're an adult, which is only seen in about 1% of patients: bleeding of the throat. It can be deadly. I'm part of that 1%. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 892

You deserved it 2 766

The Top

Today, my co-worker handed me a note. The note said, "If you can, please take a shower once in a while." The smell was coming from the broken bathroom next to my office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 806

You deserved it 2 668

Today, I laid in bed until 3am kept up by a house party. In my own house. Which my housemates didn't invite me to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 712

You deserved it 3 649

Today, I was paired up with my long-term crush for a project. She introduced herself to me and asked if I was new this year. We've gone to the same school since kindergarten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 874

You deserved it 3 596

Today, my dad, who lives hours away, called and told me he was getting married. Today. As in this evening. Guess I'm not invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 188

You deserved it 2 538

Today, while at work I tripped and fell in the pool while moving a waste basket. I nearly drowned and had to be saved. I don't know which is worse the fact that I nearly drowned or the fact that I'm a lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 706

You deserved it 13 297

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 305

You deserved it 5 219