By Jake - 02/10/2012 11:52 - United States - Athens

Spicy
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 591
You deserved it 2 802
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Top comments

hawright 13

I guess you didn't see that one coming... I'm sorry, I had to.

269 7
yupitssoph 18

Lovely roommate you have there. Go over to him, drop it back onto his face, and say: "I believe this is yours."

144 2

Comments

perdix 29

This is why I always sleep with my laptop guarding my face. I live alone, but sometimes I leave my windows open. I've learned from FML that laptops provide excellent protection against flying used condoms.

94 5
rattusrattus 18

I would not like to live in your neighbourhood.

6 12
BossPathfinderGM 14

Bonus points for referencing an FML more than a week old.

46 4
jacquesromualdez 12

Perdix, always a good read. :)

2 2
captainburke 5

It's funny that you didn't wake up

8 4
BossPathfinderGM 14

If they didn't wake him, they weren't doing it right.

23 2
macpabloBUCK 1

Maybe he has a small penis and just can't get the girl to say anything

1 1
delicious69 5

I'm laughing so hard right now!!!

4 13
BlowinChronic 18

Tell me more about how we really care. They made a thumbs up button to keep these stupid ass comments from happening...

1 6
unknown_user5566 26

84- Err, well, this is awkward... Thumbs up buttons actually don't prevent comments like this from happening (they usually only keep people from replying to other comments nonsensically). The "your life sucks" and "you deserved it" buttons are what SHOULD prevent outbreaks of pointless comments. That was harder for me than it was for you. Still friends? ;)

6 4
BlowinChronic 18

Yeah you're right, sorry that's what I meant but oh well. XD

0 2
melij99 5

93 there is a thumbs down button. You don't have to try to think of something clever to say on every comment you dont like.

7 0
eatdemcupcakes 4

So hard, I'm laughing.

0 1
neurodoc 1

May be his swimmers don't go far enough and always lands short

4 2
trollold 0

The question is why are you such a loser that he throws condoms at you. Seriously dude get a life and a girl friend.

1 14
mrstriance94 8

He probably has a girlfriend but has 2 things; common decency and respect!

2 0
aj94w 4

Couple of things: 1) Why did you post a comment? 2) Why does him getting a condom thrown at him necessarily conclude that he doesn't have a girlfriend or life?

5 0
unknown_user5566 26

39- According to the username, s/he's a self proclaimed troll. Questions answered.

1 0
ElishaisSexy2016 9

Omg. That's gross. I'd hand it back to him and say " keep your shit on your side."

4 4
lacespace 8

Or: keep your **** on your side.

3 1
unknown_user5566 26

Or: "Tell her to swallow next time". Problem solved!

6 3
ElishaisSexy2016 9

Haha! Either of these choices work lol

1 1
mikepzz 27

dip it in his coffee in the morning lol

13 0
ElishaisSexy2016 9

Haha funny but gross xD

3 2
aj94w 4

That's not what I meant when I said I wanted cream in my coffee...

10 0
ElishaisSexy2016 9

Haha! ^is cream in your cup! XD lmao

3 4
ManInTheMachine 19

That wasn't drool coming out of his mouth...

33 2