Health: Today, I woke up to find out I had a violent dream last night.... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Adonis0 - 28/06/2016 13:52 - Australia - Shailer Park

Today, I woke up to find out I had a violent dream last night. At least that's what I'm inferring from my dislocated jaw FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 20

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shandy007 6

Wednesday 29 June 2016 9:21

Do you live on Elm street?

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shandy007 6

Wednesday 29 June 2016 9:21

Do you live on Elm street?

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Today, someone left a used condom under the windshield wiper of my car. I didn't notice it until I was driving. And it was raining. It was even tied, so the contents couldn't leak out. I'm not planning artificial insemination anytime soon, but thanks for the thought. Man, I love college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 786

You deserved it 3 097

Today, my son claimed credit for a money-saving scheme at work that belonged to a colleague. He claimed this to someone in very upper management, but when they tried to ask follow-up questions, he obviously had no idea how to answer, admitted his lie and was sacked on the spot. FML

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You deserved it 422

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Today, I have been reading FML for 12 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 354

You deserved it 17 054

Today, I finally determined the source of the horrible smell that periodically invades my apartment: there's nothing wrong with the plumbing as I previously thought, I can just smell my neighbors pooping in their bathroom on the other side of the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 391

You deserved it 719

Today, I was at my work. To urge people to be generous, I paid my friends to put 15 bucks in the tip jar while saying how great I was. He did this about ten times throughout the day. Turns out, us employees don't get to keep the tips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 994

You deserved it 28 630

Today, I was at the store with my father. As we were leaving, he grabbed a baguette, put it by his crotch, and took a picture with his phone. I'm starting to feel like the parent here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 376

You deserved it 1 920

Today, I woke up in a good mood, and I excitedly shared with my mom that I was in a "wonderful mood." Her response was to yell at me because she’s "had it with my fucking sarcasm." She refuses to believe I wasn’t being sarcastic. Day ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 037

You deserved it 139