Love: Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which...

By justlittleoldme - 12/03/2010 13:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 859

You deserved it 7 289

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Same thing different taste

By aloneinaz - 15/01/2017 20:00

Today, while walking downstairs to go to work, I turned the corner and my boyfriend pulled a gun on me. Apparently, he forgot I was there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 724

You deserved it 839

By Anonymous - 03/06/2010 12:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my boyfriend keeps a gun under his pillow. This was only after my friends and I surprised him with his birthday cake while he was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 460

You deserved it 7 052

By raebelle - 02/06/2011 17:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went shooting. While I was showing him how to properly hold and adjust a rifle, he accidentally pulled the trigger. The gun kicked back and hit me in the face, breaking my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 636

You deserved it 10 771

The language of love

By Paicked - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, my boyfriend told me he loves me. Instead of saying it back, I had a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 633

You deserved it 17 843

Psychopath's joke

By hannieannie - 20/11/2019 01:00

Today, I’m still recovering from last night. I fell asleep before my boyfriend. He thought it would be funny to stand at the bottom of the bed with a knife and wake me up. I screamed so much that I wet myself and had a panic attack. He recorded the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 025

You deserved it 251

By slightlyworried - 05/04/2013 05:28 - United States - Parker

Today, I woke up from a nightmare that I've been having for a couple of weeks. In the nightmare I'm shot four times in the back by none other than my mother. I'm getting worried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 129

You deserved it 3 333

By Anonymous - 19/06/2015 19:00 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 970

You deserved it 3 755

Sorry dear

By Empi - 29/11/2022 10:00

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night with a numb arm. When I tried to reposition it, it flew crazily and slapped my girlfriend in the face. My girlfriend, who was in a string of abusive relationships, and has severe PTSD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 154

By ohfantastic - 25/01/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 674

You deserved it 2 370

By joe rogan fucking sucks, dude - 27/04/2014 20:51 - Australia - Warwick

Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 134

You deserved it 5 093

Drew_V 0

Friday 12 March 2010 16:12

lol I'm sorry thats pretty funny

H00K_M 8

Friday 12 March 2010 16:13

But seriously...what kind of gun was it?

Comments

infernofalcon 0

Friday 12 March 2010 16:18

well, it wasn't a gun, persay... He was simply-FIRIN' HIS LAZAH! BBBBLLLLAAAARRRRGGGGHHGH!!!

Peter_File 0

Friday 12 March 2010 17:01

this made my day ^^ or night ... considering it's 11:30pm here

LtBrenton 16

Friday 12 March 2010 19:35

YDI for dating Doctor Octagonapus.

ericownz101 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 1:17

shoop da whoop

ageofkyle 0

Wednesday 15 September 2010 6:13

doctor-octa-motherfucking-gonapus BLEARGGGGGHH!

ragdollsaally 0

Friday 12 March 2010 16:21

dude he comforted you, can't he be curious???

mylifeisover1305 0

Friday 12 March 2010 16:22

hahahahhahahahahhahaha that's halarious

Intellectualist 0

Friday 12 March 2010 16:23

He was probably just trying to make you laugh. Chill. Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things.

katmandont 0

Friday 12 March 2010 17:36

Damn, I was about to imagine having my sweaty thing petted

ericownz101 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 1:32

21, u can pet my sweaty things any day ;P

righttorule 0

Friday 12 March 2010 16:25

Take the dream as a warning & shoot him first!

star_86 0

Friday 12 March 2010 16:25

oh no! I have a boyfriend with humor! .... OP stop crying. It was just a dream and your boyfriend sounds funny. No fml.

jazziloveberryy 3

Friday 12 March 2010 17:02

agreed

Macho_Madness 0

Friday 12 March 2010 16:26

"a 44. magnum the most powerful gun ever made" no seriously i would ask the same thing, how did he hold it? was it a rifle? or a pistol?

kyliebeatriz08 0

Friday 12 March 2010 16:26

ohhh come on op, he was probably joking it's not a big deal

youthink_fml 0

Friday 12 March 2010 16:29

I'm sure he was just joking, but YDI for crying over a damn dream. Drama queen.

osellr 0

Friday 12 March 2010 16:31

You cried? how old are you, 9? get over yourself.

Anonnamus 0

Friday 12 March 2010 16:50

This could quite possibly be the same OP who wants a Tinkerbell tramp stamp.

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The Top

Today, I began noticing a certain female name popping up on my husband’s social media notifications,so I asked him about it. He got irrationally upset at the fact that I pronounced her name wrong, told me she’s “nobody”, then said, “I hate it when you accuse me of shit!” I didn’t even accuse him of anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 569

You deserved it 75

Today, I, for some reason, was talking to my mom about money. I jokingly said that the reason we're short on cash is because of her internet porn addiction. She replied, with a straight face, "How did you know?" I'm still not sure if she's joking or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 706

You deserved it 5 785

The Top

Today, of the two IDs I possess, I handed the cop that pulled me over the fake one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 378

You deserved it 72 295

Today, while driving extremely fast on a road in the middle of nowhere, I started to go down a hill. Noticing a police car at the bottom, I slammed my brakes and blew a tire in the process. It turns out the police car was an old cutout used to trick people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 357

You deserved it 57 730

Today, after weeks of doubt and pondering the pros and cons, I finally broke up with my girlfriend, and she burst into tears. Feeling guilty, I tried to console her by saying, "Don't worry, we can still be cousins." FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 784

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 709

You deserved it 6 128

Today, I told my husband that after fifteen years of marriage, I wanted a divorce. His first question was whether or not he could still go on the family cruise my parents are paying for in May. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 083

You deserved it 10 492

Today, I was abruptly woken by a scratching at my butthole that felt like a spider with a million legs. I've never leapt out of bed so fast. When my partner shined a light on the bed, we discovered it was a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 821

You deserved it 287

Same thing different taste

The language of love

Psychopath's joke

Sorry dear

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