Miscellaneous: Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout,...

By anonymous - 17/12/2011 02:06 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout, some guy kept making weird sounds and breathing deeply. Midway through the movie, he got even louder. Just as I was about to snap, chunks of vomit sprayed over my chair and shoulders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 023

You deserved it 2 518

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By sheyo - 05/03/2009 01:13 - Canada

Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 501

You deserved it 315 064

By Queasy - 24/01/2010 00:15 - Canada

Today, I found out that sitting in the third row at a 3D movie makes me vomit. Today I also found out that the big burly dude in front of me does not appreciate being vomited on. Now I feel nauseous and have a black eye. Not to mention I missed the last part of the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 237

You deserved it 6 069

Movie theatre fun

By Username - 02/08/2011 04:43 - Australia

Today, I was in a cinema watching a movie to review in the local paper. Suddenly, the guy behind me leans in and starts whispering and hissing, "Do it... Do... It. DO IT" for the rest of the movie. I'm still not sure what he wanted me to do, but he did smell of vomit and had a tea-cosy on his head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 051

You deserved it 2 748

Scary

By xHoho - 26/11/2013 05:50 - United States - West Fargo

Today, I took my girlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Instead when a scary part came on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap and the person in front of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 314

You deserved it 8 723

By zaynemaliksvagina - 24/06/2015 17:10 - United States - Shrewsbury

Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 407

You deserved it 1 887

By Whyme - 09/01/2012 06:14 - United States

Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 283

You deserved it 6 490

Let's slip out of here

By Anonymous - 07/04/2009 02:11 - United States

Today, my friends and I saw a movie. We sat in the balcony. Halfway during the movie we heard a commotion, thinking it was a group of unruly teenagers like us, we began to pelt the lower half of the theater with candy. We later learned that it was a man having a heart attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 922

You deserved it 100 360

Dude, STFU!

By Cyberdeeder - 13/10/2008 08:19

Today, at the cinema, I sat next to a guy who couldn’t stand a minute without laughing or making comments about the film. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 122

You deserved it 20 254

By Anonymous - 27/09/2010 11:45 - United States

Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said, "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 613

You deserved it 30 204

By escortedout - 23/10/2010 23:14 - United States

Today, I was at a movie theater. I heard some obnoxious people talking in front of me. After about 5 minutes, I began throwing popcorn at a group of suspected people. As I was escorted out, I realized that the obnoxious people were in the background of the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 128

You deserved it 47 308

RainbowHeadache 2

Saturday 17 December 2011 6:28

& then you snapped right? Because I would be so livid.

ceilingfans 1

Saturday 17 December 2011 6:31

Are you sure it was vomit? He could have been furiously masterbating.

Comments

every1luvsboners 11

Saturday 17 December 2011 6:33

That's the new 4-D movie. The fourth dimension is projectile popcorn vomit hurled at you.

upyourzlolz 11

Saturday 17 December 2011 6:41

Actually it was 5-D. The fifth dimension is the interaction between that man and the epic fight that follows.

fmlikecrazy 0

Saturday 17 December 2011 6:35

Poor guy. Imagine being nauseas that long. He probably should have left though.

LadiDi_fml 10

Saturday 17 December 2011 6:45

Yeah he could have go to bathroom or leave if he wasn't feeling well...

jaredjudd21 2

Saturday 17 December 2011 6:56

It was probably such a great movie he didn't want to leave!

ohSNAPyall 26

Saturday 17 December 2011 18:24

He probably should have left. Then again, he possibly should have stayed to spew on the person in front of him.

twofirstnames 12

Saturday 17 December 2011 6:35

Eww, but hope you still enjoyed the movie(: but FYL that's horrid

Cheerieful_fml 2

Saturday 17 December 2011 7:42

Yeah because she's gonna finish watching the movie with acidic upchuck on her back.

tennisrapper1 14

Saturday 17 December 2011 6:36

Before I read the end of this fml, I thought that he was like, jacking off behind her or something... Lol

s1ckpup 0

Saturday 17 December 2011 6:45

Would you rather have his vomit on you or his semen on you? o_O

SugarBabyAngel 5

Saturday 17 December 2011 6:47

Ask for a refund on ur money xD

saxplayer9291 3

Saturday 17 December 2011 6:49

That's a fear of mine. That's why I al

deviable 9

Saturday 17 December 2011 8:18

ways finish your sentences?

Mr_Sharkings 5

Saturday 17 December 2011 6:49

oop yeah that was me sorry about that

ty1992_farmlife 12

Saturday 17 December 2011 6:50

Lol popcorn and coke.. that'll smell really bad

WCARlover 34

Saturday 17 December 2011 6:52

And this was the beginning of s beautiful friendship:)

WCARlover 34

Saturday 17 December 2011 7:19

A* :p

StoryOfTheYear 14

Saturday 17 December 2011 8:55

There you go. :D

Keywords

Awkward Parents Relatable Work Job interview Social Media Jealousy Love Facebook Relationship advice Friends AITA Kids Annoying Roommate Shoes Music Names Customers Education Capitalism Money Weird Gamers Bodyshaming Coworkers Landlords Dogs Allergies Embarrassing

The Top

Today, while I was showering, someone left a note on the bathroom door that read, "We can all hear you masturbating. Shut the hell up." I don't know what's more embarrassing, that everyone in my house thought I was masturbating or that I was actually singing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 050

You deserved it 372

Today, I got questioned by the police. Last night I was at a party when a bully of a kid who happened to be an aspiring MMA coach and local fighter was picking on me, stole my alcohol and threw me out of the party. I heard he got stabbed by someone else he was picking on after I left. The police insist it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 60

The Top

Today, I saw a car swerving in front of me on the freeway, so I whipped out my cell to report the DUI. As soon as it started ringing, I see police lights in my rear view and got slapped with a ticket for using a cell phone while driving. After explaining why, the officer said, "Nice try." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 776

You deserved it 28 521

Today, I thought one of my flatmates was beating his girlfriend, so I barged in about to stop him. Turned out they were having really rough sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 694

You deserved it 10 349

Today, it's my girlfriend's birthday. I presented her with an oil painting of her that I'd been working on for over a month, and she started to cry. I thought it was because she liked it, until she asked if she really looks that ugly and disproportionate in real life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 984

You deserved it 3 867

Today, we ordered pizza. A long wait and several phone calls later, we found out that someone met the delivery person at the end of our driveway, signed our receipt, and stole our pizza. Way to check the credit card pizza people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 969

You deserved it 3 037

Today, my virgin guy friend told me he wanted me to be his first. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 685

You deserved it 8 612

Today, it's my birthday. My spouse got into a fight, ending a relationship with a friend. They're laying around, unable to move due to panic attacks. I'm exhausted from being dragged unwillingly into things. The birthday messages feel like a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 125