Love: Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was...

By StayPositive - 03/11/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 470

You deserved it 9 606

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/08/2019 22:00

Today, my girlfriend threw boiling water at me to get me off my phone. It worked, but now I'm burned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 961

You deserved it 283

By Anonymous - 22/10/2011 04:07 - United States

Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 417

You deserved it 54 825

By thatchick3333 - 08/03/2012 07:13 - United States

Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 479

You deserved it 6 937

Sick burn

By Anonymous - 16/05/2010 08:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 996

You deserved it 8 071

By burnt - 13/08/2012 04:43 - Australia - Middle Swan

Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 138

You deserved it 3 355

By HarvestMoon_gal - 24/07/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, I was cleaning a pan. I turned the water on, and it was super hot. My reaction was to slam my hand down. On a knife. So, not only do I have a burned hand, but there's also a huge cut on it from the knife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 094

You deserved it 10 656

By fireman - 06/10/2010 09:31 - United States

Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 189

You deserved it 8 408

Third degree

By Anonymous - 10/07/2021 06:01

Today, my wife left her curling iron on the bed, which was dangerous enough, but I also accidentally sat on it after my shower. Now I have a burn on the bottom of my balls, which has turned into a painful blister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 461

You deserved it 115

By Minabee - 04/02/2010 18:28 - United States

Today, I am meeting my boyfriend's very conservative parents for the first time, so I decided to dress appropriately and curl my hair to match. In so doing, I accidentally touched the iron to my neck, and now I have a burn there that closely resembles a hickey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 972

You deserved it 4 897

By Anonymous - 25/08/2012 13:15 - United States

Today, I learned that just because the actual part of the pan that does touch the stove isn't hot doesn't mean that the handle won't give you third degree burns, a broken nose from passing out from the pain, and an expensive trip to the emergency room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 499

You deserved it 6 905

therevolution 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 9:06

sounds like a hot mess

princesslayha 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 15:49

yea and if you ever say that to a girl you won't get any sex cooking or cleaning ^

Comments

divali 5

Wednesday 3 November 2010 10:05

Mark on your head? Didn't your hair get burned? Oh,you bald? :-/ Well,doesn't matter,stay positive! ;)

restythestar 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 10:16

"while" she was cooking..

cufaoil 11

Wednesday 3 November 2010 11:18

should have been whilst she was cooking.... sounds like he was pan handled by his gf....

xStiina 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 10:28

Hahaha, well at least she knows how to defend herself.

Mario9587 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 10:49

Lol!!! Sorry to read that. It can haooen yo evetybody.

Zachthehayn 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 10:52

Gah, I wouldn't even feel like eating

vballchick101 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 11:25

At least now you know she can defend herself.

FingerMyElmo 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 12:17

I wonder what Emeril would do If I kissed his neck.

vrbina 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 12:27

that's the worst of your problems?! get over it!!!

bharrell2010 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 12:49

burnnn! hah! (:

ascott35 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 12:52

lmao I was going to say that :o

Lizza330 28

Wednesday 3 November 2010 13:08

That would be the wrong thing to do. And what would that solve?

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The Top

Today, I realized my success rates for sex in my committed relationship were really, really low, so I've decided to stop trying for a while. I also recently have learned Excel. I made a pretty complex tracker if I ever decide to try again to monitor failures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 169

Today, after he asked to hit it raw three days into talking, shit got a little messy, so he said he needed time to decide how he felt about me. So, he's ready to be a high school baby daddy before trying to be my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 541

The Top

Today, I realized it was mistake telling my son to toughen up and fight his own battles when he told me he was getting bullied. Apparently, his idea of fighting his own battles involves ipecac. I don't know where he got it, but when I asked, he just gave the Kubrick stare and denied knowing what I was talking about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 973

Today, I was at a local talent show and during a piano performance I had to go to the bathroom. I sang along in the bathroom but was unaware how loud I was until I walked out and everyone started applauding me while the pianist was still playing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 611

You deserved it 36 962

Today, I called back a number I recently missed a call from. To my surprise, it was the number of my boyfriend's fiancé. I've been with him 4 years, he's been with her for 6. Turns out, not only is he a cheating jerk, but technically I'M the other woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 107

You deserved it 4 970

Today, my boyfriend and I went to his best friend’s birthday party. He got her red roses, a necklace and $100 Victoria’s Secret Gift Card. This year he forgot my birthday, gave me a hug and told me to leave his apartment because he had homework to do. We’ve been together for two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 431

You deserved it 227

Today, I called a locksmith to unlock my car. He got it unlocked, but broke the handle so the door wouldn’t open. We had to break a window to get in. He still charged me his usual fee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 836

You deserved it 320

Today, it was my first time as a hockey referee, for a game played by 7-year-olds. At one point, a little boy tripped another boy. Doing my job, I gave him 2 minutes in the penalty box. After the game, I was attacked by a mob of parents. I was even given an optometrist's business card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 988

You deserved it 2 565

Same thing different taste

Sick burn

Third degree

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