Miscellaneous: Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance...

By Concert Flatulent - 10/07/2012 04:44 - United States - Marshall

Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 987

You deserved it 29 171

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Same thing different taste

By Gob - 16/01/2009 14:36 - United States

Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 821

You deserved it 42 641

By Anonymous - 23/02/2016 05:01 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I farted at a crowded concert, and people started commenting on said fart. I specifically went out of my way to eat certain foods all day so that it wouldn't happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 293

You deserved it 2 787

By Smirky - 13/02/2017 02:30 - India - Bangalore

Today, while walking down the aisle of a movie theatre, I passed gas so loudly that the audience missed the climax of the film laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 638

You deserved it 1 717

By American idol - 06/04/2011 06:19

Today, I was at a local talent show and during a piano performance I had to go to the bathroom. I sang along in the bathroom but was unaware how loud I was until I walked out and everyone started applauding me while the pianist was still playing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 611

You deserved it 36 962

By anon - 04/06/2009 11:35 - United States

Today, I was performing in an orchestra concert. My stand partner and I commented on people in the audience the whole time, saying how fat they were, etc. Towards the end of the concert, I realized we were sitting right by a microphone, and the whole audience could hear us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 084

You deserved it 103 301

By gassy - 29/12/2012 09:32 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 478

You deserved it 4 625

By anonymous - 08/06/2011 16:47 - United States

Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 632

You deserved it 43 482

By Anonymous - 30/09/2013 16:22 - United States - Union

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 356

You deserved it 8 109

Toot toot

By Anonymous - 08/07/2022 12:00 - Hong Kong - Central District

Today, I had a dictation test. The whole classroom was silent, but I suddenly needed to fart. Not to break the silence, I wanted to fart slowly in the hope it would be silent. It didn't make the fart less obvious, it just made it longer, so that everyone noticed and started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 885

You deserved it 372

Denial

By Loud - 08/09/2016 06:07 - Australia

Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 595

You deserved it 8 487

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 10 July 2012 12:21

So you play a woodwind?

zachherbert 10

Tuesday 10 July 2012 12:22

"That's one weird sounding tuba..."

Comments

zandalee 19

Tuesday 10 July 2012 12:50

I bet there wasn't a dry eye in the house. Hilarious! Sounds like my husband.

LuckyLynx7732 5

Tuesday 10 July 2012 13:00

Classical timing you got there.

perdix 29

Tuesday 10 July 2012 13:05

Next time they do Tchaikovsky's "1812 Overture," you can volunteer to do the cannon part ;)

dewdotcom 1

Tuesday 10 July 2012 13:08

Fart in key next time

make_me_smile 4

Tuesday 10 July 2012 19:42

Fart ON key next time*

Clamcreepy 7

Tuesday 10 July 2012 13:10

You should've at least tried to make it apart of the dramatic sound like it was a punch line or in this case a fart line

dsl1123 8

Tuesday 10 July 2012 13:25

Just what is your definition of a "Dramatic Fart" ?

zandalee 19

Tuesday 10 July 2012 14:01

Very loud and sudden. Very hot and wet. Very runny and stinky. Take your pick.

Sooner5oh 3

Tuesday 10 July 2012 13:44

Always wrong timing!

nela25 23

Tuesday 10 July 2012 13:49

A lot of people on this website just have really bad timing :P

kicker42 0

Thursday 12 July 2012 7:07

you are correct nothing but bad timing and bad judgement.

abouttosleep 5

Tuesday 10 July 2012 13:57

And smell to your nose.

niall92 6

Tuesday 10 July 2012 13:57

"Since when did Mozart write for solo contrabass trombone?"

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I agree, your life sucks 32 855

You deserved it 5 979

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I agree, your life sucks 22 509

You deserved it 2 171

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 30 726

You deserved it 5 427

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I agree, your life sucks 125 390

You deserved it 13 998

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I agree, your life sucks 24 068

You deserved it 2 405

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I agree, your life sucks 45 002

You deserved it 5 313

Today, I was considering joining the army, so I asked my veteran uncle what the worst bits are. He told me the worst was learning for yourself just how horrible it is to see the light go out behind someone’s eyes as they die with your bullet in their chest. I don’t want to join the army anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 1 250

Today, I had just had a shower, when I noticed that the mix of my shower gel and deodorant smelled like Lynx Dark Temptation. I was happy, as this is my favourite men's deodorant, until I realised I was happily sniffing my own boobs because they smelled like my ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 958

You deserved it 5 675

Same thing different taste

Toot toot

Denial

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