By bigdaddy - 16/07/2009 03:53 - United States

Today, I went out to a nice restaurant with my extended family. It was expensive, and when the bill came, I whispered to my brother, "We may need to make this one a Chew and Screw". When the waitress came back to the table, my five year old son decided to ask aloud "What's Chew and Screw?". FML
I agree, your life sucks 9 222
You deserved it 66 554
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Top comments

heyyou1203 0

YDI for even thinking about "chewing and screwing!" you do realize that the waitress busts her ass to serve pricks like you and that her entire income is from your tip, right? waitresses get paid like, $2 and hour. I HATES people like you when i waitressed, who thought they were entitled to everything but didn't have to pay.

316 11
lizzzie_fml 0

When around kids, never say anything that you don't want repeating!!! Learn for next time

164 6

Comments

Tria 0

YDI for even thinking about doing that just because it was more expensive than you planned. Look at the price list first next time, asshole.

9 0
Penguin21 0

I hope you realize that if your punk-ass decides to "dine and dash", the server usually has to pay for YOUR food out of THEIR pocket. Yes, it is true that nearly every US state pays servers well BELOW minimum wage, so your tip is also a major part of their salary. When you decide not to pay for your expensive dinner, that server just spent about a week or more of their salary to pay for it. Also, to "dine and dash" is considered theft. I sincerely hope that if you do decide to do it, you get caught.

26 0
divineinstrument 2

Fine. If I ever dine&dash, I'll slip the waiters some money on the sly, and then run. Happy?

1 12
paperfox_fml 0

I love it when Americans call young people 'punks'. You just know the punk-accuser is secretly a church-going middle-aged white male who probably used to be a military bloke and believes strongly in Discipline.

1 12
Penguin21 0

Nope. I'm actually a 21-year-old female who is going to college and working two jobs, but thanks. :) Also, if I were a "church-going middle-aged white male who probably used to be a military bloke and believes strongly in Discipline", I don't think I would use the name "punk-ass". Maybe punk, but not punk-ass. lol.

9 0
mohana8888 0

Boo-hoo. Maybe they should get an education so they can get a job they don't bitch about 24/7.

1 19
kitkatkelly 0

Take your money and buy yourself some class.

20 0
jollyjam1 2

If you were thinking of stiffing the waitress and the restaurant, and not just kidding around then you truly are a scum-bag.

14 0
alex_vik 0

Never heard of 'chew and screw', but I looked it up on Urban Dictionary, and YDI. Pay for your ******* meal like the rest of us.

11 1
GburgChick 0

"$2 an hour, give me a break! The waitress makes the same as any other unqualified untrained labour at near-minimum wage. Except she gets tips on top of that." Have you ever worked in the service industry at all, let alone food service? The vast majority of people who wait tables do so as a second job because the career they are passionate about doesn't happen to pay well enough to feed a family, or because they're attempting to pay their way through college. And it's not exactly the easiest job; being a successful server requires the ability to multitask, very good "people skills", and the self control to keep from allowing personal judgments interfere with service. And yes, most servers are paid somewhere between two and three dollars an hour, because the government takes into consideration projected tip earnings in order to make up the difference to at least minimum wage.

14 3
gypsylexi 5

yeah projective tip earnings until you go to work with your gas tank on empty and the people you get don't tip you AND you have to pay their meal on top of that. yeah waitresses like me get paid so much two jobs can't even cover half of an apartment

4 1
aback 4

You must have one loud-assed whisper.

2 1
shashashalyn 0

First of all: To those who think dining and dashing is appropriate or something to consider... it's illegal. You can get arrested for dining and dashing and have a theft record the rest of your sorry life. I had a table that dined and dashed just last weekend and one of our managers chased the guys down and called the police. Needless to say both men were arrested that night. And second of all to everyone argueing over this topic: Servers do not get paid a wage by the restaurant. My checks come out to 0 dollars. You get paid just over 2 dollars an hour as a server in the US and all of that money is taken from you for taxes. Tips are what servers live off of, and tips are paying my way through college. So servers don't deserve to be stiffed and tips are not "extra". Have you all never seen waiting? DONT MESS WITH PEOPLE WHO HANDLE YOUR FOOD. If you are too broke to be able to tip go to McDonalds where you belong. =) 18-20 % is the standard on tipping.

15 3
Darling_Cherry 5

I have no problem tipping...but do not expect me to tip you 18% unless you've done an outstanding job....and definitely don't expect me to tip you just because you served me food, didn't bring me utensils, never filled up my drink or asked me if I needed anything during the time I came to eat at your table. I double tax and use that as a standard of how much to tip...if that number seems too little once doubled, I give more but only if the waiting staff has been courteous.

4 5
mohana8888 0

idk where your brain is but 15% is standard. 20% is generous.

5 2
shashashalyn 0

116- 15 % may have been generous in 1993, but that is no longer the case. Why do you think an auto gratuity of 18% is added to large parties? We have to tip out to food runners and the bartender depending on how large the check is, not how much we get tipped. So if someone stiffs a server, the server is paying out of their own pocket to have waited on the guests. 18-20 percent is what is expected and what your managers expect you to be making per table.

6 1
TexasGirl24 15

I couldn't have said it better myself! If you've never waited, don't tell me shit about how waitresses/waiters make a lot of money, because it's bullshit.

0 0