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By Anonymous - / Friday 6 June 2014 22:44 / New Zealand - Auckland
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By  KVKdragon  |  26

I'm sorry that your heart is crushed but you can't exactly fault the guy for being honest. He could've been so much nicer but he was being true to his feelings. Even if you thought he was meant for you, he clearly doesn't feel the same way about you. Cheer up and find someone else who loves you for who you are :)

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By  KVKdragon  |  26

I'm sorry that your heart is crushed but you can't exactly fault the guy for being honest. He could've been so much nicer but he was being true to his feelings. Even if you thought he was meant for you, he clearly doesn't feel the same way about you. Cheer up and find someone else who loves you for who you are :)

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  DemosthenesMB  |  13

Indeed! We are each attracted to different types of people, and this time it just wasn't a mutual feeling. But OP, that's just life's way of saying "you'll meet someone so much better!"

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  kuzzy00  |  22

I imagine that OP had no interesting conversations. Perhaps she was ill prepared? We have all had one of those types of dates which you just want to get over and done with. 3 P's OP: - Prepare the location - Pursue questions that create a conversation (google has a huge library!) - Promptly have an escape planned. If you're dating a "crush" you need to make sure you stay in control and have a "I have to be somewhere" planned in 20min. You can then later choose another date later on and it'll keep the control on your side :) You'll soon relax quickly around this person, and you'll feel confident with dates in general. Lastly, don't stick to dates with just your crush. Experience comes from many bad dates lol :)

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  foxwasalamb  |  24

@kuzzy, op doesn't necessarily have to have all the control in their power. especially if you're looking for a relationship, the control should be equal

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It's all well and good to be honest but it's also good to be nice and think of the other persons feelings when speaking to them. He didn't have to tell her she had 0 personality I mean she could have been nervous and maybe it wasn't all that fair to tell her that. Sorry OP @2

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  Setareh23  |  34

I totally agree with you that you can't fault the guy for not liking her and wanting to leave early. No one's obligated to like or date someone else. However I think you CAN fault him for being a completely rude ass-hat. You can tell someone you aren't interested in them without adding snide comments like "I’m too lazy to do a window escape." Clearly he was not only aiming to convey his disinterest, but also to hurt her feelings and humiliate her.

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  Tthug  |  34

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

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  DocBastard  |  38

#2 - I disagree. I do fault the guy for being rude. I don't give a flying fuck how bad a date she is, there is simply no excuse for this type of behaviour. He could have just as easily made up an excuse to get out of the date, but he chose to act like an asshole. #34 - It sounds to me to like you just haven't found that one person yet. I used to think the same as you, until Mrs. Bastard quite literally fell into my lap.

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  Schizomaniac  |  24

Making up excuses leaves uncertainty/false hope. In my (short) experience it's always best to be direct and upfront about how you feel. That said, the dude didn't have to be a dick about it. There's such a thing as being assertive while remaining polite and tactful.

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  Schizomaniac  |  24

Right, 62. Since physically assaulting someone with a deadly weapon is comparable to discontinuing a relationship with them, your analogy is appropriate and valid.

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  DanielleinDC  |  28

You can certainly fault him for being a completely inconsiderate jerk. Maybe OP was nervous because she was on a date with her crush. It would explain the zero personality he sensed. Even so, he could have sucked it up for the rest of the meal and found a nice way to turn her down.

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  ChopSuey444  |  20

#99 There is a drastic difference between honesty and rudeness. Yes he was being honest and honesty is better than a lie, but his method was plain rude. Finishing the dinner, calling it and early night, and just saying "I'm sorry but I just don't think this is working out." delivers the same message without absolutely shattering a person. It in no way makes anyone "weak minded" to be offended by unreasonably rude people.

By  iipinkette  |  16

Hey..it's better to of figured out he wasn't the one so you can move on from a jerk!

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  Crlnprz  |  11

Not liking someones personality doesnt make you a jerk. Yes he was a bit too straight foward but honesty is always best. At least he didnt say "sorry you're just too ugly"

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  stargirl_95  |  24

Not liking someone doesn't make you a jerk but being so rude about it does. I mean was it really necessary for him to say that he's too lazy to plan a window escape? He could have at least paid his half of the bill (it sounds as though he didn't even do that) and politely told OP that he's not interested in pursuing that relationship further.

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  kate3101  |  15

Saying "you have zero personality" is not honesty, it's extreme rudeness. Even if that's what you think, a decent person would say "I don't think we're very compatible"/"I don't think this is going very well" or something, rather than being as mean as possible before making a throwaway dismissive remark and leaving. Honesty doesn't have to be cruel.

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  lwood0812  |  16

It would've been nice of him if he hadn't just left her in the restaurant. There are many other ways to let someone know that you're not interested. He's an ass

By  Mii99  |  16

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

By  Miss_Whipped  |  40

I don't think you have no personality. It might help if you ran through your head different things to talk about on the next date you decide to go on, whoever it may be with. Sometimes we get caught up in the moment and freeze up, making us look like boring people instead of normal human beings. Good luck next time, however!

By  bdun4  |  18

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

By  Kn0wledge123  |  20

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

By  tpm45  |  25

At least he was honest, although he wasn't particularly gentle about it. A simple, "This isn't working," could've done it. Move on, OP, someday you'll find the right one!

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