Health: Today, I went on a date after recently quitting drinking. As... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Over hereyy - 08/10/2017 23:15

Today, I went on a date after recently quitting drinking. As she was sucking down cocktails, she decided to lecture me on how bad the diet coke was for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 157

You deserved it 284

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

hpandher 16

Sunday 8 October 2017 23:21

"Tea is bad for your lungs", a smoker once lessoned me.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Monday 9 October 2017 0:11

Congrats on quitting drinking! She's in no condition to lecture or judge you. You enjoy your diet Coke. It's a lot better than the crap she's drinking!

Comments

GhostFox 33

Monday 9 October 2017 17:06

The number of people missing the point here is worrisome. Nowhere does OP say that Diet Coke isn't bad for you, they are simply pointing out the hypocrisy that someone who drank several cocktails in quick succession was lecturing them. There's a ridiculous amount of people that pretend that alcohol is harmless even as they kill themselves with it, and for one such person to try to give health advice is a little absurd.

RockPrincess26 16

Monday 9 October 2017 20:33

You guys are all a special kind of stupid. Coca-Cola changed their ingredients. Their diet soda products NO LONGER contain aspartame. So, OP /is/ being healthier.

Keywords

Music Names Kids Customers Work Bodyshaming Coworkers Awkward Money Roommate Landlords Dogs Parents Allergies AITA Embarrassing Neighbours Singing Cute Health Ironic Accident Animals Cats Love Airport Relationship advice Cheating Sex Intimacy

The Top

Today, after fishing for 5 hours, I finally caught a respectable-sized fish. I ran to my truck to grab the scale, and then I saw my friend laughing hysterically while holding an empty net. Apparently, the only catch of our day jumped out of the net during the 15 seconds I was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 926

You deserved it 1 964

Today, my cat has always been rather antisocial, but after his first trip to the vet since getting fixed, he's become talkative, clingy, and goofy. I'd enjoy it, if not for the fact that he's nearly hurt himself several times because he keeps doing stupid shit. He might need to go back to the vet at this rate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 623

You deserved it 130

The Top

Today, I dyed my naturally-blonde hair dark brown. Upon seeing me, my boyfriend immediately wanted to have sex, because I now remind him of his favourite porn star. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 973

You deserved it 15 149

Today, I decided to try and call into a local radio station to try and win concert tickets for one of my favorite bands. I called in and was actually the winning number. When asked my name I answered quickly, but all I heard was "Hello? Hello?" Then they hung up. My cell phone was on mute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 369

You deserved it 16 580

Today, I was helping my sister by getting some old boxes down from her attic. Too bad I didn't realize the piece of plywood I was standing on doesn't extend all over the attic floor. Of course, I did realize it when I went through the ceiling onto the concrete floor of her garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 527

You deserved it 5 645

Today, I just had knee surgery which has put me on crutches for 6 weeks. I fell on my ass after washing my hands after using the bathroom. Ashamed, my boyfriend and father had to pick me up. I destroyed the towel rack, ripping it of the wall. All this pain is now potentially for nothing. It's day 4 post operation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 122

Today, I was jerking off when my cat jumped out of nowhere and dug his claws into my shaft. Attempting to knock him away resulted in three nasty gashes… that I now have to explain to my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 430

You deserved it 10 468

Today, I overheard my niece telling my daughter that a woman’s only real purpose in life is to find a good man and make sure he’s happy. This includes having his babies, cooking his meals, and submitting to him in any way he asks. My sister is a business owner. I have no idea where she got this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 078

You deserved it 143