Health: Today, I wasn't feeling too good, and took my temperature. I...

By anonymous - 18/09/2009 17:48 - France

Today, I wasn't feeling too good, and took my temperature. I had a fever, which I told my boyfriend who was laughing hysterically when I told him. I asked him what was so funny, turns out he's been using the thermometer to take our dog's temperature sometimes. Rectally, of course. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 549

You deserved it 5 578

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Same thing different taste

By asstomouth - 29/05/2010 18:20 - France

Today, I wasn't feeling well, so I took my temperature with a thermometer from my sister's bathroom. I later found out that I actually used my sister's rectal thermometer. At least I don't have a fever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 110

You deserved it 9 638

By Anonymous - 26/12/2012 04:56 - United States - Medina

Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 619

You deserved it 3 783

By sickyandiknowit - 08/11/2014 07:36 - United States - Eugene

Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 111

You deserved it 4 847

Blame the pooch

By anamota89 - 11/05/2012 09:33 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 336

You deserved it 32 285

By Anonymouse - 07/11/2015 02:03

Today, I was in bed with the stomach flu. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to fart in the fan next to our bed, which caused me to vomit all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 909

You deserved it 2 165

By Anonymous - 06/11/2014 12:15 - United States - Gainesville

Today, my eight-year-old microwaved our thermometer to see if the temperature would change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 715

You deserved it 4 247

By ohmygoodness - 02/03/2009 21:51 - United States

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 704

You deserved it 17 278

The Voice

By Anonymous - 06/09/2021 05:01

Today, my boyfriend took our dog to the vet because he heard him whining in pain this morning. It was actually me singing in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 265

By n - 04/04/2015 18:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend made me breakfast because I had a cold. Because my nose was so stuffed, I couldn't tell that our milk had gone bad. I had two cups. And now I'm stuck on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 123

You deserved it 3 502

By egged - 08/07/2014 01:41 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I have a really high fever and my sister thought I was hot enough to fry an egg on. So I'm lying in bed now, still terribly feverish, but smelling of the egg she cracked on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 312

You deserved it 3 644

tangerine_12 0

Friday 18 September 2009 23:07

ewww thats sicckkk. but i woulda laaughed too ahaha.

xkat356 0

Friday 18 September 2009 23:10

hahahaa, you should have just stuck the thermometer in your armpit, not your mouth, but FYL.

Comments

SaintJimmy 0

Friday 18 September 2009 23:31

I agree with #17.

premiermois 5

Friday 18 September 2009 23:38

^ fail.

allmidnighteyes 10

Friday 18 September 2009 23:38

almost got it there, 18. I was waiting to say the same.

allmidnighteyes 10

Friday 18 September 2009 23:43

Haha, I saw, hence the ninja edit portion of my post. Thanks mercy :]

DameGreyWulf 0

Friday 18 September 2009 23:32

Well, it's okay, because I'm pretty sure it's been washed. Of course that doesn't mean it isn't still gross lol

TeeParty 0

Friday 18 September 2009 23:37

I feel like being a nerd today. You weren't feeling that WELL today. And FYL. Hahahahaha.

xxARIxx 5

Saturday 19 October 2013 6:39

What she said wasn't wrong.. You're not being a nerd, you're being stupid.

dylantaelle 0

Friday 18 September 2009 23:46

kinky.

jessxoxo28 5

Friday 18 September 2009 23:53

ewwww!!!

kimia123 2

Saturday 19 September 2009 0:06

Has anyone else noticed that the only French people that use this are from Nord-Pas-de-Calais? Or is it all one person?

Puolukka 4

Saturday 19 September 2009 0:15

Well, I have to admit that I never really paid attention to that fact, but considering that Nord-Pas-de-Calais is a region, not a city, and that about 7% of the total population of France live in that tiny area...there's at least a chance that it's not always the exact same person :p But now I will so totally always pay attention to FMLs from France just to see where they're from*loool*

egaonogenki 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 0:18

#27 (kimia123,) this is originally a French website. It's viedemerde.fr, and some of their users happen to know English so they went ahead and paid us a visit!

kimia123 2

Saturday 19 September 2009 0:26

Oh OK, thanks :)

CL41RE 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 0:13

break up with that bastard

stjarna_fml 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 0:17

For ***** sake, has this guy ever heard of disinfectant?

DrunkenValor 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 1:05

Just spit in his breakfast everyday for the remainder of your relationship with said boy. Failing that, if you're more extreme scoop up some of the dogs feaces and while he's napping in the front room, put it down his top and slap accordingly.