They do if they are happy

Yes whenever I visit my mother and forget to hide my shoes her cat poops in them. I stepped on her tail once like 3 years ago and the cat never misses a chance to shit in my shoes.

or his bitch.

When my cat was a kitten he jumped up on my bed and tried to spray me, to mark me as his since we also had dogs. I wrapped him up in my blanket and gave him a bath immediately. He's never sprayed anything again.

Tom cats will "spray" to mark their territory; that's just a quick burst, much different than full-on urination. Neuter your cat at a young age to prevent that sort of behavior from ever developing. But actual urination is almost always caused by something, often a nasty litterbox or some sort of illness. Cats can't tell you when they're not feeling well or are unhappy, so they find another way of communicating.

Actually, cats territory marking is more often from the scent glands in their cheeks and paws, which is why the rub their face on everything and use your leg as a scratching post.

I'll forgive you this time, because clearly the devil made you say that!