Miscellaneous: Today, I was watching TV when the Jim Beam commercial came on...

By LonelyInLA - 16/02/2009 21:45 - United States

Today, I was watching TV when the Jim Beam commercial came on with the hot girl saying how she likes her men fat and hairy. My mom walked in and said, "See honey, you still have a chance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 578

You deserved it 4 982

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Same thing different taste

By Andrew - 24/09/2010 10:22 - United States

Today, I was watching TV with my grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on my stomach as my mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me for being a pervert, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 259

You deserved it 4 577

By wastedbaby - 04/07/2011 02:02 - United States

Today, I was watching a home video of when my mom was pregnant with me. She had a beer in her hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 736

You deserved it 3 764

By Vince - 09/12/2011 19:38 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 057

You deserved it 3 228

Hush

By furious parent - 03/07/2019 18:00

Today, I caught my mother telling my 11-year-old daughter that if she wants to be happy in life, she needs to start exercising now, because fat can creep up on you, and rich guys never marry fat girls with nice personalities. I was fuming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 063

You deserved it 332

By docwinters - 27/05/2013 12:39 - Australia - Bathurst

Today, my partner and I were cuddling on the couch, watching TV when she smiled and murmured, "You smell like my dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 163

You deserved it 4 998

By Starchyld - 11/11/2009 12:21 - Canada

Today, I went on blind date with a guy because both our moms thought we'd like eachother. Things were going really well until I got up to go to the bathroom and he says: "My mom was right, you do have perfect breedin' hips!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 923

You deserved it 4 133

By smokecloud_ - 30/12/2013 21:38 - United States - Ashland

Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 274

You deserved it 5 352

By Sam l. - 10/11/2012 06:51 - United States

Today, my dog and I were sitting on the couch. I went to the bathroom, came back, and saw him walk over the remote, which caused the TV to change to the Hustler channel, just a few moments before my girlfriend walked through the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 149

You deserved it 3 651

By :/ - 20/02/2011 18:44 - Canada

Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 057

You deserved it 109 663

By disturbed2103 - 09/07/2009 00:07 - United States

Today, I was looking at my friend's dad's Facebook pictures because he recently posted a status update. I saw him at a bar with some ugly hooker that he was feeling up in almost every picture. After about 10 minutes of ridiculing and laughing at this ugly woman, I realize it's my mom in a wig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 747

You deserved it 9 076

Romaine_fml 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 19:29

Should have said: "Fat hairy men? Hmm, to be honest I think she'd probably fall in love with you first"

phatdaddy62 23

Wednesday 1 June 2011 7:08

Oh Shut The **** Up!

Comments

RatIsKing 0

Sunday 13 September 2009 23:22

ahaha, I love tht commercial! but seriously, FYL

WhyworldWhy 0

Sunday 27 September 2009 16:53

she was teasing relax

logical_guy 0

Thursday 29 July 2010 3:07

this wouldn't have happened if you weren't fat..

i_wuz_nver_here 31

Friday 8 October 2010 17:54

America...

lexkymbeth 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 3:52

what a fn mean mom i wold of said somn back like "me? you have a chance now she like guys with hairy backs" or somn..

astriofou 0

Monday 2 May 2011 8:09

fat people need love to. Ha! but seriously.. HA! u just made my day u no that :)

Vball6 19

Thursday 24 November 2011 7:03

Obviously..

klx125cross 9

Tuesday 7 August 2012 4:06

ashleyylove3 22

Friday 1 November 2013 16:35

I laughed more than I should have

SaltyLurker 10

Thursday 30 August 2018 16:23

The way I heard it, there are lots of peeps looking for fat, hairy men in LA ;-)

Keywords

Miscellaneous Neighbours Insurance Plumbing Awkward Money Work Poopoo peepee Parents Relatable AITA Relationship advice Love Suspicious Cheating Health Phobias Abuse Insects Kids Family Drunk Argument Weird First Dates Marriage Gross Mental health Cars Death

The Top

Today, I literally caught my husband with his prick in another woman’s mouth and he had the nerve, the actual nerve, to tell me, "It’s not what it looks like, babe", all while trying to stuff his lipstick-coated knob back in his pants. CRETIN. IDIOT. CHEATING SCUM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 668

You deserved it 162

Today, I looked back on my romantic history: a marriage that ended when my wife cheated on men, four girlfriends who took advantage of me, and my first girlfriend showed up for my first date after putting on stage makeup that made it look like I beat her up just before our date. "Better to have loved and lost," my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 97

The Top

Today, my co-worker came back from Thailand with big new breasts. She told me to go ahead and touch them because they have a funny texture for the first few months. When our GM entered the room, I had both hands down my co-worker's shirt, agreeing that they were unnaturally firm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 357

You deserved it 40 152

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 831

You deserved it 39 891

Today, while I was riding the bus to work, I noticed the guy sitting across from me had shorts on. He also had no underwear on and I could fully see his "parts" just hanging there. I decided to switch seats but as I stood up to move, the bus jerked. I fell face forward right into his "parts". FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 118

You deserved it 1 480

Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 141

You deserved it 2 387

Today, I tried to convince my daughter that the "To boldly go where no man has gone before" speech is from Star Trek, and is not an actual historical speech by the first man on the moon. She has decided to include it in her university essay on Neil Armstrong anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 874

You deserved it 3 425

Today, I went on a Grindr date with a really cute guy. I thought things went really well. When he dropped me off at home, he told me not to text him anymore because his wife might get mad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 994

You deserved it 305

Same thing different taste

Hush

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