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Today, I was watching a movie with my sister, my roommate, and my girlfriend. Half way through the movie, my girlfriend left the room and texted me that she was breaking up with me. She then came back in the room, sat on my bed, and enjoyed the rest of the movie with us. FML

By Small_Fry_Hero - / Wednesday 21 October 2009 06:39 / United States
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By  Brave_Sir_Robin  |  4

Sounds like a redneck joke to me... "You might be a redneck if you have to buy a gift for your roommate, your sister, and your current girlfriend and you only have to buy one gift."

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  tyhillman  |  0

No, not poor him, he just got broken up with in the most awesome way ever haha.

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  smaginn  |  0

Exactly. I would have paused to movie and announced that I was breaking up with her, throw that back in her face! Just wondering- did you just sit there dumbly while she sat next to you and watched the movie?

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  evangldbrg  |  0

exactly what I would've done, it's your dorm room so you have a right to who is in it and who is not. If she broke up with you in a bitchy way, I would text her "can we step outside and talk about it?" then let her lead out and when she steps out slam the door behind her.

By  Brave_Sir_Robin  |  4

Sounds like a redneck joke to me... "You might be a redneck if you have to buy a gift for your roommate, your sister, and your current girlfriend and you only have to buy one gift."

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and I only say this because the OP isn't clear whether or not there are three separate people in the room. Not only that, but he says, "...she left the room and texted me that she was breaking up with me." It may be just me, but he didn't really clarify which "she" he was referring to.

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  Oz_Alice  |  0

Well, he did say "She then came back in the room, sat on my bed, and enjoyed the rest of the movie with US." Plus, roommates and sisters don't break-up with you...

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Bonnie and Clyde Productions, from the Bright Country of Wales, and the mean streets of America, comes FML Pr0n. It begins in a room, four people, two related. They watch a movie. The light moves in and catches the artistic lighting of the crotch shot. Then pans girlfriend's cleavage. Then goes in too close on Op's mole. Then it pans to the my little pony movie on the television. Then the little sister demands ice cream and the roommate for no reason decides he needs ice cream too. SO they leave. Girlfriend says, "We have to break up! I cannot be with you." What happens? Will the world ever know? Does Original Penis let Girlfriend run off or does he artistically have sex with her? And where did all these other men come from? And why is she dressed like a nurse? Stay tuned.

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Hell yes. I think we can both soon expect a call from pr0n directors wanting to buy our ideas. Hell no, we want all the moneyz for ourselves! In our next scene, Romeo contracts an STD from Juliette.

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Afterward, he decided he wanted more than anything to have a vagina, and spent the leftover money on his own surgery. He discovered a whole new world was open to him, and became a butt-double for Angelina Jolie. However, after a tragic accident involving a pair of scissors and Angelina's left nipple, he was fired and forced to live on the streets. There, he met Romeo, a poetic hobo. The attraction was instant. The sex was amazing.

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Sadly Romeo was a cyborg from another planet. This planet used sex to power their Sexbots and so Romeo, who had fled his planet to become human, was awakened again as R.O.M.E.O.: Robotic Operational Machine Engineered for Obliteration, and the world imploded. Then Jules woke up from his prophetic orgasm and realized having sex with assholes was really no way to live her life. So she ran away and shacked up with Kenny Rogers and they lived happily ever after... until the sequel.

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Unfortunately, Kenny Rogers has declined to appear in our sequel unless we give him a pay increase. So instead, Kenny has magically turned into Tom Hanks! Jules and Tom had a frolicking good time, until Jules began to feel empty inside one day. Tom's high libido and amazing endurance just weren't enough for her. She missed Romeo, though she had no idea that he had become R.O.M.E.O. So, after a few more rounds of "hide the penis" with Tom, she began her journey to find her Romeo.

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Romeo was across the galaxy in a place known as the Strip of Tease, where Robots go to hide who they really are. Jules wore a pretty little dress he borrowed from a certain person in Hong Kong... When Jules got there she found Romeo engaged in explicit acts with Big Boss Hunky, who is also a robot. Jules was so sad that he imploded. So Romeo, who was still an evil robot at heart, decided to save Jules and turned him into a woman robot like they had both all wanted.

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Jules and Romeo began engaging in a mad-sexy robot threesome with Big Boss Hunky. It was mechanically delicious. But suddenly, Big Boss Hunky EXPLODED! Romeo and Jules were thrown across the room by the force of the explosion. They skidded out into the streets, still naked. Teasean Robots gathered around them and stared down at their exposed wires.

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It was horrible. Jules short circuited and Romeo ran off, never to be seen from again. Teasean robots worship them to this day, the day the world exploded with sexual circuitry.

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  Airch  |  9

lolled YDI for being too pussy to say anything. Grow a pair dude, though... she didnt have the balls to tell you to your face either, most likely better off without her !

By  perdix  |  29

Your roommate probably farted and your ex-girlfriend thought is was you, and dumped you for being a pig. Assigning blame is critical in those situations, otherwise, "He who smelt it, dealt it."

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