Animals: Today, I was visiting my grandma who has a beagle named Max....

By lean_mean_meme_machine - 10/12/2016 19:07 - United States - Tampa

Today, I was visiting my grandma who has a beagle named Max. He was so excited to see me, he jumped on my face and peed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 389

You deserved it 693

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Same thing different taste

By Koko - 07/04/2016 16:07 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my dog was so happy to see me that he laid down on his back and started pissing like a fountain. He pissed on everything around him, including me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 775

You deserved it 1 925

By KilteDKilleR - 15/10/2011 14:02 - United States

Today, I went to visit my grandpa. He has an easily excited dog, who barreled into my freshly broken knee. I felt my knee move out of place again. The dog chipped a tooth. We went to the vet first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 694

You deserved it 3 131

By Anonymous - 15/09/2016 00:35 - United States - Nottingham

Today, while visiting my grandparents, I was afraid that one of their many cats would pee on me. I was peed on all right, by my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 156

You deserved it 807

By Username - 02/08/2011 17:35 - United States

Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 473

You deserved it 5 294

By killjoyx - 23/07/2015 18:28 - United States - Suffolk

Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked my face. A few minutes later, I find out he had thrown up twice before he licked my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 800

You deserved it 3 183

By Anonymous - 24/10/2015 16:41 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When he saw that I was awake, he wagged his tail happily and then promptly sneezed in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 518

You deserved it 3 236

Social science

By Josh - 16/07/2021 06:01 - United States

Today, a friend came over to meet my new dog. The dog got excited and accidentally peed on him. I went to the kitchen to get something to clean it up. When I came back, my new dog was covered in my friend's pee. My friend claimed that peeing on my dog "showed dominance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 295

You deserved it 150

By Andrea Trevor - 30/04/2018 01:30

Today, I woke up at 5am to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 124

You deserved it 625

By Pisser - 26/06/2014 04:57 - United States - Portland

Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 180

You deserved it 5 710

By GreatAim - 23/09/2009 05:55 - United States

Today, I was at my friends house for the first time in months. I saw her newest chihuahua dog, Mickey, and he was excited that new people were over. I picked him up and slightly bounced him in the air. Because of the bounce and his excitement, he peed a little bit, straight into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 208

You deserved it 34 118

Dave_Davington 33

Sunday 11 December 2016 2:33

Just think, if the dog weren't named Max, all of this could've been avoided.

Tripartita 44

Sunday 11 December 2016 2:01

"Today, I was visiting my grandma" Ah, interesting. I wonder how the grandmother will fit into this… "who has a beagle named Max. " Huh, I wonder how the name will be relevant… "… he jumped on my face and peed. FML" Oh. That was useful info.

Comments

Frabens 1

Sunday 11 December 2016 1:46

How did a dog get on your face again?

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 11 December 2016 1:50

Why was the dog's name important? It'd be funny if his name were FlowMax.

sweet_ivory 0

Sunday 11 December 2016 2:17

MAXimum details ..I'm sorry

Devolution 8

Sunday 11 December 2016 2:45

You should be

sweet_ivory 0

Sunday 11 December 2016 3:02

forgive me for my sins FML comment section

Enslaved 36

Sunday 11 December 2016 3:34

Grody to the...

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 11 December 2016 3:35

I forgive you.

Kattsu 0

Sunday 11 December 2016 2:01

Claimed his territory

Tripartita 44

Sunday 11 December 2016 2:01

bigbadbarley 1

Sunday 11 December 2016 7:37

a young kid wrote it probably just chill..

Tripartita 44

Sunday 11 December 2016 7:53

oh good point never thought of it like that im sorry i overreacted..

MilkyPhoenix07 3

Sunday 11 December 2016 2:10

Max Excitedness, Max Pee.

Dave_Davington 33

Sunday 11 December 2016 2:33

Just think, if the dog weren't named Max, all of this could've been avoided.

Lalala579121 27

Sunday 11 December 2016 4:27

Or if the dog was OP's grandpa's not grandma's.

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 11 December 2016 2:47

If Max were a Jack Russell Terrier, I'd believe he could jump on his face and pee. But, a beagle? Only when Snoopy was on his flying doghouse has a beagle flown high enough to pee in someone's face.