Miscellaneous: Today, I was told by my girlfriend that in the thralls of my... - FML

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 20:21 - United States

Today, I was told by my girlfriend that in the thralls of my drunken haze last night, I tried to French-kiss her mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 401

You deserved it 37 681

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By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 20:00

Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 774

You deserved it 280

By Vince - 09/12/2011 19:38 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 057

You deserved it 3 228

By Anonymous - 23/04/2012 05:50 - United States - Harrison

Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 138

You deserved it 2 100

By Anonymous - 15/05/2013 20:21 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 647

You deserved it 4 567

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 902

You deserved it 6 672

By hugme101 - 20/12/2010 00:20 - Canada

Today, after a long time convincing my parents that my boyfriend is really a good guy, not only did he decide to come by the house completely drunk, but he also ended up trying to kiss my mom, thinking it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 083

You deserved it 9 703

By dantko - 01/01/2014 05:04 - United States - Dearborn

Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 101

You deserved it 5 315

By H-B - 28/04/2009 08:53 - United States

Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 600

You deserved it 88 938

By jimbop - 23/05/2009 17:48 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 890

You deserved it 10 314

By Anonymous - 20/10/2015 09:44 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 815

You deserved it 3 650

Next

Top comments

geepc 3

Saturday 15 January 2011 23:43

haha oh dear OP.. maybe ease off on the alcohol if you can't handle it to prevent future embarrassment?

DncrHap 9

Saturday 15 January 2011 23:42

pssh. what's the problem? two girls with one bone!

Comments

RHCP12 0

Saturday 15 January 2011 23:53

Come and knock on our door....

snoot 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 6:46

okay....

oliveindamiddle 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 21:14

threes company reference? :D

sarabraun8 7

Saturday 15 January 2011 23:55

nice one

Kiyoha 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 0:11

Um, if you can't handle alcohol and/or are stupid enough to drink too much, you totally deserved it.

marriiee_fml 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 0:15

I hear she's good with them soft lips.

joooeee 3

Sunday 16 January 2011 1:29

Does anyone know what the square root of 69 is?

Doortje 29

Sunday 16 January 2011 2:06

8 something.

girlslikeguys 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 3:48

right ;)

zacharytk72 5

Sunday 16 January 2011 0:16

you're stupid lol

justnbieber 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 0:29

haha nasty.

FMLouis 6

Tuesday 14 February 2012 2:03

You would think so Justin...

orly33 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 0:37

Lol.

waterpolohezy 6

Sunday 16 January 2011 0:37

Ok so here's the run down just in case anybody didn't already realize this... Any FML dealing with drunkenness or one night stands=automatic YDI or DUI. Take your pick. But really wise up and learn some limits people

boopityboppity 11

Sunday 16 January 2011 1:13

Yeah. If you get drunk, expect bad things to happen.

momo1972 3

Sunday 16 January 2011 0:42

is she MILF?

maybaybe 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 0:47

Go easy on the alcohol if you want to stay with your girlfriend, OP.

perdix 29

Sunday 16 January 2011 0:56

Or go hard on the alcohol and become his girlfriend's step-dad. Rawr!

soldier4life_88 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 2:03

ha ha yes!!!

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The Top

Today, during an episode of King of Queens that my boyfriend has seen more than once, I decided I'd try to get a little frisky. I straddled him while he was on the bed and began taking my clothes of. He pushed me out of the way and said, "Don't get naked in front of the TV." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 731

You deserved it 4 481

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 468

You deserved it 4 808

The Top

Today, my dad insisted on taking us to a local buffet that is known for bad food and botulism. He kept piling things onto a plate for me, despite my objections. A waitress commented on how much was on my plate. I told her I wasn't hungry, and it was my dad's doing. Her response, "Your skinny self needs to eat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 94

Today, I invited my boyfriend to his first dinner out with my family. As my older brother was discussing the injuries he'd received while working as a tow truck driver, my innocent 10 year old brother piped up saying he should see what I did to my boyfriend's back with my nails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 250

You deserved it 5 408

Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 869

You deserved it 3 805

Today, my dad refuses to let me inherit all of his money, which might just put a roof over my head when I’m older. *His* money? Well, actually, he inherited it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 222

You deserved it 909

Today, I hit two deer at the same time on my way to work around 50 mph. They jumped out of the bushes last minute, leaving me zero time to react. I waited a full year to get this truck, shopped around to get what I wanted, and it's my "dream truck". I've only had it for two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 039

You deserved it 120

Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I "jack off real weird." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 053

You deserved it 16 422