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Sometimes when you rub a dog's belly, even if you're nowhere near it, the red rocket makes an appearance.

Either your wife is 12 and you are a pedo or she doesn't understand dogs. Or you've jerked dogs off before. I'm thinking it's the last one because why the hell else would she assume that?

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Maybe it isn't her husband but someone else she knew before who did that and she still remembers it.

So next time you call him a "good boy", she'll assume you're just dirty talking. And don't even try to put a collar on the poor thing; bondage is just too kinky. Oh, don't get me started on the "toys" you buy for him…

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