Today, I was reading a recipe list on my tablet. I moved a little,... - FML

By Crypticbeerbelly - 11/01/2017 14:44

Today, I was reading a recipe list on my tablet. I moved a little, and one of my fat rolls came into contact with a button which closed the tab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 249

You deserved it 3 774

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By idiot - 19/11/2016 06:48 - United States - Wausau

Today, while I was reading on my tablet, my dog wanted to be let outside, so I set down the tablet and let her outside. I returned to the living room to continue reading when I heard a crunch. The tablet had fallen to the floor and I'd stepped on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 793

You deserved it 2 780

By anonymous - 11/10/2016 05:23 - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, I was taking my phone out of my pocket when it caught on the fabric and began to fall. I managed to catch it, but also smacked myself in the balls in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 593

You deserved it 2 207

By Monty - 01/03/2009 08:45 - United States

Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was just wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and um...stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 510

You deserved it 15 613

By Anonymous - 29/03/2018 19:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was checking my phone while using the toilet. In a distressing moment of my brain mixing up the signals to my hands, I dropped my phone into the bowl and pressed my thumb into the shitty paper to turn it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 622

You deserved it 3 716

By Heyme - 09/12/2008 13:50 - France

Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I bit into my pen and smeared my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 377

You deserved it 6 723

By Anonymous - 26/01/2012 16:45 - United States

Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 990

You deserved it 32 359

By numbtongue - 13/03/2015 04:19 - New Zealand - Dunedin

Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 879

You deserved it 4 463

Yummy, apple crumble!

By Anonymous - 23/04/2020 02:00

Today, I accidentally cooked my new Apple Pencil. Being magnetic, it stuck to a baking tray that was put down on the table I’d been drawing at, and went in the oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 260

You deserved it 650

Kitchen nightmare

By cookiemonster - 13/08/2013 16:10 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, after placing it on top of the stove, my hot tray of freshly-baked cookies slipped. I caught it, though. With my bare hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 444

You deserved it 6 671

By stillchubby - 17/02/2011 11:12 - Australia

Today, I was thinking about my new diet and workout plan as I was getting dressed in the morning, feeling much thinner and more energetic. Just as the thought passed through my brain, the button on my skirt popped off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 972

You deserved it 5 924

Next

Top comments

cacheson 41

Wednesday 11 January 2017 14:52

Your fat rolls clearly want you to pick different recipes.

JesusFreak227 15

Wednesday 11 January 2017 14:46

Lose some weight?

Comments

JesusFreak227 15

Wednesday 11 January 2017 14:46

Lose some weight?

almost_there44 26

Wednesday 11 January 2017 14:51

Hopefully it was a healthy recipe list.

cacheson 41

Wednesday 11 January 2017 14:52

Your fat rolls clearly want you to pick different recipes.

ber4fun 23

Wednesday 11 January 2017 15:10

Your belly must have been trying to tell you something - like pick a healthier recipe.

SlugsOnDrugs 13

Wednesday 11 January 2017 15:16

As someone who used to be overweight and struggled daily with things like this, I can say this is almost 100% your fault. Though there can be medical issues which make it harder to lose weight, it's all up to you how unhealthy you are. Get motivated and don't complain about your lifestyle.

Attacksloth 33

Wednesday 11 January 2017 15:31

<p>Sounds like you were reading the recipe for disaster.</p>

c420racer 13

Wednesday 11 January 2017 15:57

Judging by your username, the recipe didn't include adding a can of beer and the fat wasn't having that. The belly wants what the belly wants.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 11 January 2017 16:16

Some apps have a feature called Palm Rejection to ignore accidental touches by your wrist or palm. You ought to invent Fat Roll Rejection. Wait! It's been done -- it's called Dating.

sarcasmismyno1 22

Wednesday 11 January 2017 16:25

It's a sign.

dietcoke09 25

Wednesday 11 January 2017 18:25

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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