Intimacy: Today, I was playing with my girlfriend getting her all worked... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By anon - 14/01/2016 04:39 - United States - Galivants Ferry

Today, I was playing with my girlfriend getting her all worked up, the foreplay lasted longer than normal. Just as she took my pants off I realized I had already came. Without her even having to do anything. She then went on to say "it's okay not the first time you've came before me" FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

No comments yet.

Comments

No comments yet.

Keywords

Work Awkward Parents Relatable Job interview Facebook Social Media Love Jealousy Relationship advice Friends Kids AITA Shoes Annoying Roommate Music Names Customers Education Capitalism Money Gamers Weird Bodyshaming Coworkers Landlords Dogs Allergies Singing

The Top

Today, I was working at the pharmacy and had a older man come in. He was buying Viagra and, by law, we are required to ask if the patient had any questions. His lovely response was, "When you coming over so I can test this stuff out?" His wife and daughter thought it was hilarious. I could've died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 844

You deserved it 634

Today, I confronted my ex-employer about the money he owes me. He'd said he would pay me $3000. He asked me if I had it in writing. I said no. He said, “Well, too bad for you. No leg to stand on.” Then, in a cringey Indian accent, “Thank you, come again!” and slammed the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 99

The Top

Today, I argued with a boy from school over a girl. I didn't know he was a black belt judoka. I'm still in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 415

You deserved it 8 120

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. We were colouring, and she told me she wanted to draw a picture of me. After she was done, she showed me the picture. I'm drawn as a fat cow. The worst part is, the picture actually looks kinda like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 745

You deserved it 10 427

Today, my sister sent me countless pictures of my boyfriend making out with different girls at a bar. His excuse? Photoshop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 202

You deserved it 4 325

Today, at the age of 34, I realized every girl since high school who has dated me, only dated me because they had low self-esteem or were rebounding. The second they found someone they thought was better, they would leave me. Will I find someone who actually wants to be with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 116

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of one week is suicidal and crazy about me. She showed me that she'd carved her old boyfriend's name in her arm, and she threatened suicide if I ever left her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 521

You deserved it 4 118

Today, I had a big job interview on Zoom. I forgot my name was set as "Fat F***". I joined the call and the older lady interviewing me was very offended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 244

You deserved it 1 476