Love: Today, I was on a double date at a restaurant with two friends...

By Anonymous - 06/06/2009 02:22 - United States

Today, I was on a double date at a restaurant with two friends of mine and a guy I really liked. Things started getting really quiet so I decided to start talking to make things a little bit less awkward even though I was eating. I ended up spitting a piece of chicken across the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 244

You deserved it 45 072

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Same thing different taste

No third base for you

By Anonymous - 26/03/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom - Wakefield

Today, I went to a restaurant for a second date. As we were eating, a piece of food got stuck in my teeth. I tried to discreetly remove it, but ended up spitting it across the table and onto my date's glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 251

By moo... - 18/05/2013 02:59

Today, I was on a date with this guy I just met and we went to a fancy restaurant. Halfway through the meal, there was an awkward silence, and he decided to end it by saying "You know, you chew like a cow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 489

You deserved it 13 203

By anonymous - 19/11/2016 18:35 - Canada - New Westminster

Today, I was eating lunch on my first date with a really pretty girl, when my ex shows up at the same restaurant and starts telling her how bad of a boyfriend I was. My date left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 362

You deserved it 1 503

Hi-de-hi

By Droolgirl - 26/05/2009 01:25 - United States

Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 251

You deserved it 46 552

Choked

By embarrassing - 15/07/2021 18:01

Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 155

By newmoongirl1036 - 13/07/2015 02:03 - United States - Chicago

Today, I went on a date with a guy that I really like. At the last minute he informed me a friend would be tagging along. To keep his friend from being a third-wheel, I kept up a conversation, and managed to piss my date off. He thought I would be a better match for his friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 958

You deserved it 3 354

Denial

By Lady Bloodshart of the Redwater - 15/07/2016 20:27 - United States - Arlington

Today, while at a restaurant, my date shat himself. He spent the entire meal pretending nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 683

You deserved it 1 018

By anonymous - 14/09/2010 07:57 - United States

Today, while at dinner with my current boyfriend, my ex walked in with his new girlfriend. The waiter put them at the table next to ours, and the two of them had a front row seat to me spilling an entire guacamole salad on my lap out of nervousness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 303

You deserved it 6 910

Impressive, dude

By Anonymous - 06/02/2023 15:00

Today, I was on a first date at high-end Indian restaurant. I tried to impress my date by ordering the spiciest dish on the menu, only to find out it was way too hot for me to handle. I ruined the entire meal by coughing, choking, and drinking five gallons of water with tears streaming down my face for at least 40 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 1 930

By Anonymous - 07/01/2011 23:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date for the first time in months. Over dessert, my date told a joke, and I tittered vigorously, causing me to choke and throw up all over my date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 112

You deserved it 6 345

avalon24 18

Saturday 6 June 2009 9:51

That's so gross, you shouldn't talk with food in your mouth.

Eros_fml 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 9:54

i think he deserves to put his sausage in your taco for that one

Comments

padlarf 14

Saturday 6 June 2009 10:09

What's so bad about a little silence? Ask Mia Wallace XD

JRSpaniel 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 10:11

Didn't your parents teach you not to talk with your mouth full? YDI.

redbluegreen 40

Saturday 6 June 2009 10:13

HOW TO EAT Step one: Pick up silverware. Step two: Pick up food using silverware appropriately. Step three: Put food in mouth. Step four: Close mouth. Step five: Chew thoroughly until food is broken down into smaller pieces. Step five: Swallow. Step six: Repeat as necessary. No one wants to see you talk with your mouth full, no matter how bad the conversation gets. The fact that you spat it across the table is just hilarious though, but still gross.

redbluegreen 40

Saturday 6 June 2009 10:20

Whoa, I miss numbered those. Step five: Chew thoroughly until food is broken down into smaller pieces. Step six: Swallow. Step seven: Repeat as necessary. Fail. D:

cutebutpsycho 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 10:21

YES! Oh, you are super classy! I agree with everything that has already been said. Including the crude but funny jokes.

cthulhu1138 1

Saturday 6 June 2009 10:32

Don't talk with your mouth full. There's the risk of spitting something, it looks gross to everyone watching, and chances are nobody can understand a word you're saying.