Love: Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked...

By ak. - 02/03/2009 21:26 - United States

Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and said, "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 691

You deserved it 11 367

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Same thing different taste

Take it where you can

By charapos - 26/10/2021 11:00

Today, I got called beautiful for the first time in forever. The lady who called me beautiful was herself very pretty and VERY drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 134

By jimbop - 23/05/2009 17:48 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 890

You deserved it 10 314

By Anonymous - 10/07/2019 06:15

Today, I told my girlfriend she was beautiful. She replied, "Lit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 581

You deserved it 249

By drunkluv - 12/04/2011 02:58 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend openly admitted to me that she wouldn't have gone out with me if she hadn't been drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 035

You deserved it 4 182

On the sauce

By drinkdrankdrunk - 27/09/2013 07:33 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I woke up from a night of heavy drinking to find my girlfriend dumped me. Apparently I drunk-called her last night and told her that someone as beautiful as her could be with someone way better than me. She agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 251

You deserved it 17 911

By allennn - 14/03/2010 14:56 - France

Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 923

You deserved it 38 531

By pugs - 29/01/2010 08:43 - France

Today, the girl I've been dating asked me to describe her body. I said "Thin an toned but curvy in all the right places." I then asked her the same question to which she replied, "I don't know, you know I'm always drunk when we're together." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 462

You deserved it 4 620

By Anonymous - 15/05/2013 20:21 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 647

You deserved it 4 567

By rachaaaaeul - 06/08/2010 07:07 - United States

Today, I was texting my boyfriend about yesterday, where he told me how much he loved me, and he wishes we lived closer. I asked him if he really meant it. Turns out he was drunk, and had no idea what he was talking about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 065

You deserved it 4 019

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 16:44 - France

Today, during a drunken night out, a really trashed friend said to me, "Jeez, even when I’m drunk, you're really ugly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 550

You deserved it 4 087

TurboKill1 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 2:01

She's a keeper, haha.

AliSama 17

Tuesday 3 March 2009 2:06

unless she is drunk 24/7 it;s a joke. grow up.

Comments

okaypineapple 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 4:26

Whatever. Thats not so bad. Maybe being drunk is what got her interested, but its not what kept her with you.

lollipop217 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 4:34

haha i've done that :p

imhawaiian 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 4:47

drunk girls are the best dude

LegendxLm 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 5:30

It's like right outta a sitcom.

Zuriel45 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 5:31

Stop asking questions you already know the answer to.

fmlforever2012 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 5:33

Thats how i get all my girls FML

TheOrpheus 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 5:34

dude. you gotta' know that shes joking right?

e_n_t_r_e 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 6:08

story of my life

0___0 9

Tuesday 3 March 2009 6:28

lol@virgin4life someone's jealous >_>

DistortedReality 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 6:33

I lol'd.

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Today, I asked out a girl I’ve been hanging out with for a few months. She said, “That’s kind of gross.” When I asked her about, it she said, “My friends will think you’re creepy” followed by, “You’re not actually a creep, they say you look like one.” I groom myself every day like a normal person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 89

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. The help-line told me, "Don't touch the door. We'll be there soon". Two hours later, I had a headache, my legs were stiff, and my date must've thought I stood her up. The tech finally arrived, pries the door open, then rudely asked, "Why didn't you do that yourself?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 449

You deserved it 3 567

The Top

Today, things were getting steamy with my boyfriend. For once, I tried to be more vocal to turn him on. After five minutes, he says, "Could you stop making animal noises, I feel like I’m fucking in a farmyard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 609

You deserved it 101

Today, I learned that, even after several interviews and congratulations for getting the job, you still might not get the job. I just received an email stating that my accepted offer is now rejected. I already treated my close friends to an expensive dinner to celebrate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 893

You deserved it 961

Today, though it’s been a month since I removed the plaster from my wrist, it still stinks of feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 855

You deserved it 6 453

Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend of almost a year because he was no longer sexually attracted to me because I'm "overweight," even though I only weigh 130 pounds. Afterward I went to my friend's house and sat in an old wooden chair. It broke into pieces as soon as I sat down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 097

You deserved it 9 826

Today, my boss told me that people from work have been complaining about me. Apparently, I'm not doing part of their jobs for them, and the other manager sometimes does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 075

You deserved it 1 513

Today, we were running late for school so my mum shouted at me to hurry up and get in the car. I put my school bags in the boot of the car and my mum drove off. It wasn't until she got to my school and told me to get out that she realised I wasn't there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 367

You deserved it 4 147

Same thing different taste

Take it where you can

On the sauce

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