By horsefuck - 07/08/2015 12:51 - Malaysia - Kuala Lumpur

Spicy
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, when I noticed a large piece of broccoli wedged between her teeth. I have no idea how she didn't feel it, but I couldn't stop fixating on it and started going soft. I had to cry out, fake an orgasm, then toss the condom really quickly to spare her feelings. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 552
You deserved it 6 871
Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

LibertyLife20 20

Or tell her she has broccoli in her teeth

554 5
cutycat136 28

If you had have told her, she probably would have thought nothing of it, fixed the problem, and you could have had a real ****** instead of faking it

343 3

Comments

mukduk 21

And how is lying to her sparing her feelings?

43 5
nixbling 10

he just didn't want to ruin the moment. he didn't lie to her at all, he just pretended to ****** so he wouldn't embarras her.

0 0
MRSwick2525 23

I am unsure of your age OP but you should have just manned up and told her that she had something in her teeth. I'm pretty sure she would have excused herself for ten seconds to get it out and BAM back to having sex. Plus she probably would have been happy you told her. Guess maybe it just depends on how comfortable you are with one another.

28 3
jenninator93 18

Idk... I wouldn't mind my bf pointing out I had something in my teeth during sex, but I'd be pretty annoyed (and out of the mood) if he tried to actually pick at it lol

36 1
nikki151 21

Why would he take it out for her, that's disgusting

25 1
khoov19 20

ur an ass....if u can be intimate with her and cant say anything about that you have a lot if growing up to do an shouldn't be involved with intercourse. ..ur obviously a child...grow the **** up

25 13
soulreaper12296 28

Or you're a judgmental douche who needs to grow up.

18 8
davincidasecond 24

Wow. Completely unnecessary. I agree that he was a bit immature in lying, but there was no need for that.

1 2
Schizomaniac 24

Should have bent the bitch over and kept going to town.

13 24
a1_z9 10

You're a virgin right? I'm not saying all virgins are shitheads, but your comment just screams 'I've never touched a boob.'

38 1
a1_z9 10

I'm sure your girlfriend could've handled being told about it, most relationships only have room for one delicate little princess after all. Or you could have said 'I feel like I need to brush my teeth', that often prompts people to think about their own teeth.

2 9
EarlFug 19

Should have brought it to her attention, politely. She wants to be attractive.

8 2
SaniK 17

You could have just flipped her and told her about it later.

3 4