Intimacy: Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. All of a sudden he...

By Jenny - 31/03/2009 00:06 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. All of a sudden he jumped off of me, going "shit, shit!". Worried, i asked him what was wrong. He shouted "I forgot to set my TiVO!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 305

You deserved it 8 712

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Same thing different taste

Fascinated

By Anonymous - 09/04/2009 19:46 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The TV was on with the volume low, as we had been too preoccupied to turn it off. All of a sudden, my boyfriend stopped mid-thrust. He was watching the TV. House MD was on. He'd stopped to watch the differential diagnosis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 403

You deserved it 15 275

Moving

By happyasaclam - 19/02/2009 00:55 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were hooking up while watching a movie. Just as I was getting really into it, he told me to move my head. He couldn't see the television. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 076

You deserved it 6 036

Actor's Studio

By darthmilfious - 31/03/2010 07:56 - France

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 676

You deserved it 69 088

By SecondBest,IGuess - 30/04/2013 17:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off and said, "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on. He's 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 485

You deserved it 16 440

By some_girl_19 - 05/08/2009 13:04 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was in the middle of an intense orgasm when we heard the panicky voice of his little sister saying there was an emergency downstairs. He jumped up and left to see what the matter was. The big emergency? The Wii remotes had dead batteries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 121

You deserved it 9 435

By unwantedlove - 25/02/2011 18:36 - France

Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling on the couch watching TV when we started kissing. As I crawled onto his lap and started to unzip his pants, he said, "You're blocking the TV." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 145

You deserved it 6 906

By Anonymous - 07/08/2009 15:16 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. Halfway through he asked me what day it was. I told him, "Friday." He jumped up and ran over to the TV yelling, "Oh my God! Shark week is almost over!!" I was cock-blocked by the Discovery Channel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 794

You deserved it 8 343

Caught in the act

By MeAgainDr - 08/08/2023 04:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was taking advantage of an empty house to try and re-spark my sex drive. Despite my best efforts, I got bored and started watching something else, but when my housemate returned suddenly, I panicked - gave a guilty shout and fumbled my dick away as I changed the monitor over - back to porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 717

By Anonymous - 18/08/2009 23:45 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, while we changed positions, he shouts, "Power Rangers - It's Morphin' Time!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 917

You deserved it 12 622

By 504-A1 - 11/05/2012 22:02 - Canada - Barrie

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 480

You deserved it 10 405

poopooface 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 9:33

That's hilarious. TV shows: 1 You: 0

commonsense 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 9:43

The Dawn of Technology is the Fall of Man

Comments

oneangredwarf 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 9:57

#10 what about LOST?!? the office rocks tho

mf_fml 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 9:58

ha, sucks.

neonoodle 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 10:04

he was probably thinking of tv shows to maintain his erection

xqme 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 10:14

i thought TiVo allowed instant playback whenever? 0_0a i r noobie.

Wonka_fml 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 10:17

I'm adding Lost, How I Met Your Mother, The Big Bang Theory, and Heroes on #10's list.

Jimboom 11

Tuesday 31 March 2009 10:27

The Big bang theory FTW!!! The office however is just not funny to me. Even the original. Just cringe worthy, not funny.

humpty_dumpty_fml 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 10:28

damned kids, this youth doesn't know how to **** properly. pfffff

MKC_fml 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 10:53

LOL @ #18 I totally agree! What's the big deal about missing an episode on tv? You can just go and watch it online anyway....

breaksprinter_ 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 11:11

TiVo vs whoopie, TiVo vs whoopie...hmmm I'm sorry I would have to say the whoopie weighs more and if I were you I'd break his TiVo, haha. fyl.

reggiecide0 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 11:21

LOL. I WOULD TOTALLY DO THAT IF IT WAS A SHOW THAT I LOVE :P

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The Top

Today, my fiancée's ex sent me screenshots of their conversation. In it, he told her how badly he’d wanted to marry her, what a great life he'd have given her, and what a huge mistake she'd made by letting him get away. My ring, our house even our pets should’ve been hers. Gee, thanks for settling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 159

You deserved it 132

Today, it's only been two months since my daughter has owned her home and now she wants to move back to my house because she lost her job and can’t afford the mortgage, plus she got pregnant off a one-night stand and needs my help with the baby. Bang goes my plans for a quiet retirement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 107

The Top

Today, I hid my parents' booze since I'd always thought their shitty behavior was due to drinking too much. Turns out they're just assholes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 700

You deserved it 8 943

Today, I escaped my husband's snoring by going to sleep on our sleeper couch, only to be welcomed by an excited mosquito population, which sounding like, "Happy hour guys, she's on her period, let's suck this eternal source of blood!" I went back next to my husband and I didn't sleep, but at least wasn't being bitten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 143

Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 281

You deserved it 3 793

Today, I woke up to find my cat had knocked my phone into the toilet. As I fished it out, soaking wet, I thought, "Well, at least it's water-resistant." Turns out, my phone wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 236

Today, I broke a tooth. It’s Friday. Not a single dentist office is open. The good news? I might lose those last few pounds as I can’t drink or eat without excruciating pain. Needless to say, it’s going to be a long weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 682

You deserved it 259

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for a familiar reason; I apparently have night terrors that make me "Impossible to sleep in the same room with." I don't ever remember these dreams. Every other girlfriend I've had has ended up breaking things off with me for the same reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 506

You deserved it 4 478