Intimacy: Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells... - FML

By FML - 02/02/2009 18:27 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 785

You deserved it 10 189

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

Size Queen

By Anonymous - 05/10/2021 05:00

Spicy

Today, I was hooking up with a girl, but when she got my pants down, she got mad and left, saying she was gonna kill her sister who lied to her about me having a large penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 520

You deserved it 192

Unwarranted

By Ryan - 20/12/2011 17:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 651

You deserved it 60 062

By FuckThis - 31/08/2015 13:16 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Spicy

Today, I thought the girl I was seeing was going to tell me that she loved me. Instead, she told me how she sucked some other guy's dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 329

You deserved it 2 534

Not my turn

By Perry85 - 10/12/2019 05:00

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she says "Don't cum in me, my husband has plans for later." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 258

You deserved it 1 002

By wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Spicy

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 789

You deserved it 13 024

By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 16:59 - Germany - Dortmund

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 679

You deserved it 10 543

Show and tell

By Boyufd - 22/04/2020 23:00

Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 136

You deserved it 280

Routine

By youaresodumb - 27/09/2010 04:19 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 431

You deserved it 34 338

"shortcomings"

By Anonymous - 24/02/2018 01:30

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 903

You deserved it 631

By Laura - 17/09/2010 00:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend of three years decided it was finally time to have sex. After we did, he told me that he was sleeping with another girl. He wanted to have sex with me to see who was better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 738

You deserved it 6 220

Next

Top comments

Diabeetus 0

Sunday 15 February 2009 7:51

Perfect reply for these situations. "It varies in size depending on how hot the girl is."

captcool024 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 8:45

haha.. stupid bitch.. hot dog down a hallway at this point.. dont worry bro she says it to everybody, because her boyfriend is a giant *****.

Comments

Pearson_fml 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 8:52

You're a disgrace to the OPP lifestyle. Naw, I'm just kidding, but that sucks man.

PYLrulz 17

Wednesday 29 April 2009 13:51

My only hope for you is that you had it wrapped.

Dunne147 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 4:29

Hey, at least you got laid.

wax_soup 0

Wednesday 13 May 2009 19:50

IDD agree # 15 and # 5

deannababy 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 1:33

haaaa, tell her that her ****** is just too small to fit your dick.

Levicicus 6

Sunday 27 January 2019 9:33

That doesn’t make any sense.

deannababy 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 1:33

haaaa, tell her that her ****** is just too small to fit your dick.

Clomp 0

Monday 25 May 2009 2:25

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! that sucks, though...

Gibbio260 0

Friday 5 June 2009 14:16

hey what u complaining about anyway you nailed this chick your doing better than half the other fellas on this site saying "im 30 and the only time i've seen a ****** is on a med school exam"

Tahiri 2

Saturday 20 June 2009 20:01

So? Did you think yours was the biggest on the planet? Get over it.

sportsy 7

Thursday 18 August 2011 22:01

No he didn't read the damn post right next time

MikaykayUnicorn 36

Thursday 29 August 2013 7:18

Well, the point was that she has (had?idk what happened after) a boyfriend. ...

andropenis 0

Thursday 3 September 2009 15:54

Get revenge, one up the guy, check out andropenis.com

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Keywords

Teenagers Friends Love Sex Intimacy Embarrassing Revenge Food Work Awkward Parents Relatable Weird Miscellaneous Health Job interview Social Media Jealousy Facebook Relationship advice AITA Kids Annoying Roommate Shoes Music Names Customers Education Capitalism

The Top

Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said, "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I'd managed to turn myself off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 337

You deserved it 15 970

Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 680

You deserved it 7 123

The Top

Today, it's raining pretty hard and there are a bunch of puddles everywhere. I’m in a full rain suit and great boots, so instead of walking around the puddles, I decided to walk through the biggest one, only to drop down 4 feet, all because the city didn’t cover up a massive manhole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 457

You deserved it 1 003

Today, I found out that my creepy neighbor paid a guy to install a camera in my bathroom. It's been there for three months. The guy he paid? My brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 382

You deserved it 3 409

Today, I still can't poop unless I hear the sound of the bathroom fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 791

You deserved it 1 407

Today, I woke up to my dog jumping on my bed and licking me all over. It would've been fine, if I hadn't woken the first time a few minutes earlier to the sight of him going to town on his balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 834

You deserved it 5 178

Today, to avoid walking on a thumbtack that had fallen on the floor, my little sister took a red sharpie to the carpet and drew a circle around it, "so that way, everyone will see it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 765

You deserved it 3 080

Today, while I was trying to get to sleep, I heard a strange noise coming from the bunk bed above mine. I looked up to see what it was and my cat vomited over the edge, onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 727

You deserved it 3 429